Seriously Paranormal Investigations

[Serpens Walker]

Seriously Paranormal Investigations is my business front. Like so many people in the small, twisted community that sees beyond the veil, I'm a guy with a set of unusual talents for dealing with problems. Whether those problems are some bunch of kids playing a prank on a town with lights in a park, a group of cultists that manage to summon something, to a horde of chupathingies, vampires, or zombies rushing your doors to try to eat you and your fellow tenants, I'm the guy to call.

I specialize in demons, and recently, due to situations beyond my control, vampires. Zombies are half off, free when certain criteria are met. Non-corporeal free roaming spectres and apparitions tend to incur a per day charge just like our investigation and research services as opposed to a per creature charge, though they will incur the standard creature charges if they are violent enough.

It shouldn't need to be said, but if it involves temporal translocation, call someone else. Dimensional Displacement is acceptable, but incurs a steep premium, with all expected services being paid for up front. None of that "But I thought you were dead!" nonsense.

If you don't believe any of those things exist, get back to me when you do. Satisfaction is guaranteed concerning services rendered. If the problem is unresolved, no payment is necessary.

Legal Disclaimer: Seriously Paranormal Investigations and its agents will not be held legally responsible for any collateral damage suffered by structures, bystanders, equipment, possessions, pets, astral constructs, familiars, homunculi, other constructs, or anything that 'gets in the way.' Seriously Paranormal Investigations agents reserve the right to GTFO in any situation beyond the scope of their abilities, though will compensate you for otherwise wasted time by giving you a full report provided the agent in question survives.

Also, because I feel it's worth mentioning in here, I'm looking with someone to aid me in some research concerning supernatural essence mixed into mortals, specifically the situations in which it can occur and the courses of action available to a person afflicted with such. Time is not a factor. Paying for useful information that is well cited from credible sources.

Information pertaining to common scenarios such as vampirism and zombification is undesired. While I do have an academic interest in lycanthropy and mummification, I am more interested in the ramifications of divine, demonic, and... primal essences wound into mortals, particularly dragons.

If anyone would like to swap tactical information, feel free to hit me up.

[Hannah]

Welcome Serpens,

I expect any momment my father will be along wiht a comment about mercenaries. Ignore that. He just is worried about the motivations of those who do this for money instead of because they think it's the right. He doesn't understand that someone can do both.

Anyway, that's a very interesting list of services offered, hopefully your business tends to be slow on the more dangerous stuff, but if you're like me, it probably isn't.

I have access to a few rather impressive libraries at the moment, I'd be happy to do a bit of research in them on the side. I also happen to know a fair bit regarding the manifestation of fey power through a mortal. I may be willing to trade that information for information you get regarding divine and demonic powers in this plane or for services rendered.

Hannah

[RAVEN]

I did not know that parents were still naming their children "Serpens."

There are times when a reporter in the field could use some assistance. How far are you willing to travel?

[Grace]

This is... just too damn good to pass up.

First of all, Welcome to the boards Serpens Walker. As you will come to learn, we occasionally tease each other around here. Perhaps I am the worst culprit, I'll let you judge.

But your name in Latin would be serpent or snake. Which means you share a name with another bad-ass Snake Walker.

Sorry Ron.

Anyway, like I said, welcome to the boards. Try not to take anything too seriously.

I'm not going to lie, I made a little coin from this place here and there. Mostly I just do it now because it needs doing. But I'm not going to judge you or anyone else for trying to make an honest wage at what they're doing anyway.

So good luck!

[Cybermancer]

It shouldn't need to be said, but if it involves temporal translocation, call someone else.

Indeed it should go without saying since time travel is quite impossible.

P.S. Welcome to the boards. Good luck with your business ventures.

[Ron Caliburn]

Hmmm, new guy posts and already Nemesis and my daughter are using it as an excuse for making fun of me.

[Serpens Walker]

Concerning names, parents aren't naming their children using latin themes. Due to various scenarios that have unfolded over the course of my experiences as a paranormal investigator, two major considerations have arisen. Firstly, that some degree of personal anonymity until personal contact in this field is a plus, in spite of the fact that if anyone REALLY wants to know who they're dealing with, a screen name is basically a speed bump. Secondly, magi, wizards, demon hunters, demons themselves, and just about everyone else finds my real name to be entirely too normal for what I'm involved in. This name is an allusion to one of the Libertarian slogans, which has been present in the U.S. of A. since the Revolutionary War. Don't tread on me.

As for the mercenary side of it... think whatever you want. Some of us weren't put on this earth to sit around offices, file TPS reports, and then get told that the cover page is missing. In fact, a few of us admittedly struggle with Wrath, and sometimes, some person arbitrarily placed in a position of authority says the wrong thing to the wrong fellow and hijinks ensue. Fortunately, there's nothing arbitrary about who the boss is in a mercenary contract. The client has demands, and my job is to meet those demands or forfeit the contract. Sign the dotted line, let's get show on the road.

As for Time Travel, I'd prefer it not be possible, but one of the quickest ways to miss something in this business is to assume that something is impossible. Furthermore, perception is reality, so if you think something happened, it probably did, but it doesn't mean your perception will be shared by everyone else.

Keep those minds open.

Hannah, I'll try to hammer out an outline of some of the information I would find useful in the near future. I've got a contract out in Monument today to do a spook inspection of an old 1800's saloon. Current assessment indicates possible poltergeist activity, nothing a well placed sanctification can't fix.

And don't worry about them, Caliburn. I refer you to the GIFT.

[Grace]

Chill hombre. No one's been digging on you for being a mercenary, not even Ron. You should have seen it when I first showed uphere. Consider it part of the hazing process.

As for Cyber, well he never fails to point out to us how impossible time travel is, so I wouldn't read too much into it.

[Serpens Walker]

Oy, this is why I hate forums. ... or maybe it's just human interaction? I'm bad at it. Trust me, you won't suspect I'm perturbed-you'll damn well know if I'm miffed. Not mad in the slightest. In fact, I'd actually be pretty disappointed if I didn't get all that back and forth.

[Grace]

Bad at human interaction? You must be a friend of Mel's. That and you've clearly come to the right place. You'll fit in just fine.

[Serpens Walker]

Yeah, friend of Mel's. ...that obvious, huh?

[Grace]

Eh. I wouldn't worry about it. Some of the best people I know are friends of Mel's. And at least one of them, the worst.

[Gotham Witch]

And what is -that- supposed to mean, Nem?

[Hannah]

Sounds interesting Serpens. I look forward to seeing what you have in mind.

Hannah

PS: I figured pretty quickly that you knew Mel. While not everyone she knows is bad at personal interaction, most of them have trashed her place at least once.

Besides, it's not like there are many cute chicks who study magic in this town.

[Serpens Walker]

Let's not get into my preferences about ladies. I don't fully understand them, and I doubt anyone else would even know where to start. >.>

[Ron Caliburn]

Let's not get into my preferences about ladies. I don't fully understand them, and I doubt anyone else would even know where to start. >.>

There are plenty of mysteries that man will never solve. Women are just the most mysterious of the pile.

[Hannah]

Dad,

we aren't that mysterious. Heck, most of the time we drop lots of big hints for you to figure it out for yourself.

Hannah

PS: We do that so if you don't figure it out, we can call you a dummy and get away with it.

[Serpens Walker]

The ladies I understand just fine. I meant I don't understand what I want in a lady. World of difference there.

[Hannah]

Serpens

On behalf of the women out there, we aren't so much interested in a man who comes after us because he's looking for specific qualities. We're interested in a man who sees the qualities we have and loves us for them.

Hannah

PS: Since when did this turn into Hannah's advice for the lovelorn. Let's tell some ghost stories!

[Tms3]

I am working on cleaning up my case file for the nit wit that called up a red cap. that was ummm fun yeah thats the right word fun,,,,, I think, every one loves the fey... espassaly the unsellie court

[Serpens Walker]

Fae... It just really depends with them... I think I'll state for the record that I'm not a fan of the fae and their blue and orange morality.

[Tms3]

in my experiences the will do exactly what the say the will. The will hold to the strictest letter of any agreement they make. the sprite means nothing to them if what you said is not what you meant and exactly what you meant you should have been more clear. also well they may help you there goals and agenda is there own, so they may help you one day and try to kill you the next. They well and truly make human politicking looked like a group of school children playing at polatices. and show Machiavelli to up as a mere armature. or maybe a basic primer for sidhe school children. I made a deal with them once I wright it out in black and white it took me about a week, and was about 3 pages. in it I spelled out exactly what I offered and exactly what I expected in return. and then I sat down to nogateat making revisions. in short it took about a mouth and the final agreement was 5 bloody pages long!

[Serpens Walker]

That's more the behavior I expect out of devils than fae...

Maybe Djinn.

[Tms3]

Fae can out lawyer a lawyer, though there not as good at it as devils or even Djinn its its just that both Fae and demons have had more practice at it them human lawyers.. where the deference comes is a Fae usually does not try and twist your agreements to harm you, or that is not why there twisting it, but rather like I said there goals and againda are there own. its not done out of mallishesness unless your dealing with the unsellie or you tried to force them into an agreement. most of the Sidhe are not evil per say. just different, there goals and ethics are completely alien to us

[Hannah]

Serpens,

a lot of legends regarding the fae were co-opted into tales about devils and demons during the Medieval period by Christian priests and missionaries seeking to prevent people from continuing to worship the older deities. The result is a lot of overlap in perceived behavoirs.

In my particular case, my own situation is because my grandfather made a deal with a fey known as Robin Goodfellow. Robin, amoung his other physical traits is notable because he has horns and cloven hooves.

Hannah

[Tms3]

mister Goodfellow there's a name I have not heard in a long time. If I recall he is light Court or the sellie court but I could be wrong?

[Hannah]

Hi TMS3,

Yes, by most such definitions he is Seelie. He's an aspect of the Horned One, especially the Oak King aspect. He is a spirit of summer, life and rebirth. He can only exist on the earth from Beltaine to Ostara at which point he must return to the fae realm. In ancient mythology this was explained by the Oak King (and his aspects such as Robin Goodfellow, Jack Robinson and Pan) 'dying'.

Hannah

[Tms3]

What I thought. Well my family has its one relations with the Fae. including one of my many times great grandfather taking a Fae queen for his bride. and having children.

[Hannah]

I have the alternate scenario TMS3. A certain Lord of Greenwood thinks I should be the next Mrs. Goodfellow.

Hannah

[Cybermancer]

I have the alternate scenario TMS3. A certain Lord of Greenwood thinks I should be the next Mrs. Goodfellow.

Hannah

That really doesn't have much of a ring to it. Clearly an alternate scenerio to that is needed.