Offering my services

[Reckoner]

As the creator and CEO of Dead Rekoning Inc., I've been through a lot before finding my way to the Lazlo Society. My signature of 'Professional paranormal extermination, specializing in zombies, undead, monsters, demons and world-devouring ancient gods' isn't just a tagline. They're things I've had experience with, also including ghosts and various spirits. I respect everyone assembled here, everyone has their own experiences and specialties. I suppose if you had to sum up mine, I'd say I excel in the things that go beyond the scope of the 'normal' situations in our line of work.

You know the saying that once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth? That sums up my life in a nutshell. While reluctant to list my entire resume' here, I can tell you that I am psychically gifted. I have a knack for picking up people's emotions, psychometry, remote viewing, and a gut for sniffing out the things that go bump in the night that mean harm to innocents. I'm as handy in a fire fight as I am in melees, and if it's paranormal, I've got a way of hurting them. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. If I don't respond publicly, I'll PM you. Just keep in mind that most people don't believe me when I open up my case history.. I may not respond right away, that's usually because I'm off on a case. It's not because I'm ignoring you, I don't like doing that to anyone asking for help. I'll respond as soon as I can, I promise.

Take care and good hunting.

[Professor Ali]

You fight ancient gods??? I doubt that anyone here could afford your services. Well, Mephisto might be able to afford a consultation.

[Joe Smith]

You need a TV commercial.

"WE'RE READY TO BELIEVE YOU!"

[Reckoner]

You fight ancient gods??? I doubt that anyone here could afford your services. Well, Mephisto might be able to afford a consultation.

Look, compensation is good, but I don't do this for the money. I've dealt with some nasty beasties, one of the absolute worst was in the Japanese Triangle. It was worse than hell, it could have cost me more than my life and everyone on the ship. I got lucky, but I stopped it. Usually those kinds of forces are weakened because they're either not fully awake or were expending energies to come here while whatever forces summoning them are working on this side just as hard. There's a window of opportunity if you play it right. Other times, you may only be getting a fraction of the essence coming through to set up camp. A part of a god is still a pain, but less of one than a full manifestation.

[Reckoner]

You need a TV commercial.

"WE'RE READY TO BELIEVE YOU!"

Yeah, I've met a franchise of those guys. Decent, but once they came across something that wasn't a ghost and they weren't equipped for it. That's where I stepped in and mollywopped the f'ing thing.

[Holister]

I wonder if we should have this guy go wack Khavik and Not Ron?

[Reckoner]

I wonder if we should have this guy go wack Khavik and Not Ron?

Whoa! Hold on! Whack who? Talk to me.

[Holister]

Khavik & Not Ron, the top two on The Society's most wanted list. You kill gods, then this should be a cake walk through the daisies for ya'.

[Reckoner]

Khavik & Not Ron, the top two on The Society's most wanted list. You kill gods, then this should be a cake walk through the daisies for ya'.

You're gonna have to give me more info. Unless these guys are slobbering, purely evil filled monsters, I don't just kill indiscriminately. Send me more info, even a PM if you're leery, maybe I can help. But I'm not a blind assassin.

[Kolya]

Yea if you like to jam, take those fuckers on.

Just don't sleep alone if you do. Or at all if you can manage it.

[Reckoner]

Yea if you like to jam, take those fuckers on.

Just don't sleep alone if you do. Or at all if you can manage it.

If you need the help, send me your intel. But if you all have a history with these schmucks, I can wear down their defenses while you take them down. Your bad guys, your collars. I'm not a glory hound.

[Holister]

What about that Mothman problem you have Kolya? Think this guy can handle it?

As for Khavik and Not Ron, just read the past threads. You will learn everything you need to know about those two amongst them.

[Kolya]

Yea if you like to jam, take those fuckers on.

Just don't sleep alone if you do. Or at all if you can manage it.

If you need the help, send me your intel. But if you all have a history with these schmucks, I can wear down their defenses while you take them down. Your bad guys, your collars. I'm not a glory hound.

PM technocrat, I think while Nemesis is MIA he's running the show.

I hope to be there soon myself.

[Kolya]

What about that Mothman problem you have Kolya? Think this guy can handle it?

Probably, but we smoked the moth man very recently. He was apparently behind the "puzzles" for Natasha to solve. At least we destroyed a moth man, no way to verify it was THE moth man, however. Time will tell, I suppose.

[Holister]

Yea if you like to jam, take those fuckers on.

Just don't sleep alone if you do. Or at all if you can manage it.

If you need the help, send me your intel. But if you all have a history with these schmucks, I can wear down their defenses while you take them down. Your bad guys, your collars. I'm not a glory hound.

PM technocrat, I think while Nemesis is MIA he's running the show.

I hope to be there soon myself.

I think Azrael is headin' on down that way too?

[Reckoner]

I just read up a bit on this Khavik prick. Get me close enough and not only am I sure I can hurt him, but it'll give me a chance to use him as a foci to find the damnable thing that empowers him in the first place so I can take it out. And while I do it, I'll let it know that it has Khavik to thank for leading me to it.

[Holister]

[Reckoner]

:lol:

What? You asked for my help, right? Taking out Khavik is one thing, taking out the source of the disease will fix him AND whatever other lives it's ruining.

[Holister]

Good luck with that. We've been tryin' to smoke that blood sucker for years.

[Kolya]

:lol:

What? You asked for my help, right? Taking out Khavik is one thing, taking out the source of the disease will fix him AND whatever other lives it's ruining.

He's usually much more sensitive to the newer members' first steps here. I wonder what's different about you? But like I said, your best bet is to PM technocrat.

[Holister]

He claims to kill gods man. That is like openin' the door and sayin' "Come on in."

But he should fit just fine round here.

[Reckoner]

I've PM'ed Technocrat and am awaiting contact. I know what it sounds like, but now that I know what Khavik is, let me take a shot at him the next time you head out.

[Holister]

K...

[Technocrat]

Yea if you like to jam, take those fuckers on.

Just don't sleep alone if you do. Or at all if you can manage it.

If you need the help, send me your intel. But if you all have a history with these schmucks, I can wear down their defenses while you take them down. Your bad guys, your collars. I'm not a glory hound.

PM technocrat, I think while Nemesis is MIA he's running the show.

I hope to be there soon myself.

Hi!

Just like to clarify. I'm in charge of exactly two things. Diddly and squat.

I'm not a field agent.

I don't know how to handle a gun.

I'm not trained or used to dealing with emergencies.

I'm good with a computer and I'm trying to help as best I can.

But someone else really needs to be in charge.

[Kolya]

I didn't say you were in charge. But I did think that you could at least point somebody in the right direction.

My apologies.

[Technocrat]

No need to apologize, I just want to make sure there is no misunderstandings.

Reckoner did get in touch with me and I have passed on what I knew and hopefully I have pointed them in the correct direction.

Maybe they can take over.

[Holister]

Well Az is heading for DC, must be thumbin' it by sweet time he's takin'. He should be able to help ya' fellas out. I will try and reach him, won't be easy.

I'll just have Sydney astral project or something.

[Technocrat]

Is he... stable?

[Holister]

As in mentally stable. Yes. Quite stable. But.......

[Technocrat]

Why is there always a but?