I HAVE SEEN THE JERSEY DEVIL

[Jersey Guy]

Hello Everyone

My name is Davis Holtz, but you can me me Jersey Guy. I have lived in southern New Jersey all my life so I have of course heard every story about The Pine Barrens, the "Pinies" that live there, and of course The Jersey Devil. I never really believed in the stories, after all every state has some local folk lore.

That was until the other night when I saw it.

I know alot of people who would think I am bat shit crazy, but the other night I was at home watching TV and eating take out when my dog Jasper starting going nuts. He is normally a quiet mutt, but that night he just would not stop barking. Then I heard a comotion out back.

I went into the kitchen expecting to find raccoon haven gotten into the trash barrels again. So I grabbed my camera and went outside thinking I could get a nice night shot of those fury little bastards. But no sooner than I opened the door than Jasper takes a mad dash off into the woods bordering my backyard.

I am thinking he's off after a rabbit or dear, that was until he came running back, tail between his legs yelping like a whipped puppy and bolted back inside. Of course I turn to take a look back at what spooked the little guy, when I saw it. Or at least its eyes.

Like two burning flames in the darkess of the tree line. All I could do was snap off some quick photos until I heard it make this god awful sound that wasn't no animal I have ever heard. As soon as I saw those eyes move I bolted back inside myself, locked the doors, cut the lights, and hid with my dog in the back room, scrounging for a flashlight and the phone.

Just before I called 911 I relized no one in their right mind was going to belive me so I just hung up. I did scroll through my photos later on that night, all 16 of them and every one was blurry or out of focus. All but one that seemed the best out of the lot. It was a ways off, so I had to zoom the photo and tried to clear it up, but it was the best I had.

If someone here can tell me how to post a photo from my laptop I can show the photo here and let you all decide If I actually saw something, or if I am just bat shit crazy.

Hope you can help a fellow out -
The Jersey Guy

[Ron Caliburn]

Well I tried it a while back but I wasn't a good enough photographer to make me want to post anything. Hell, not a single one of Hannah's last birthday pictures is in focus - even though the camera is suppoed to do that for me.

Anyway, in theory you need to find someone who can host the image for you - then you can slip us a link and we can go take a look.

[Holister]

Hi there new guy. I heard of this Jersey Devil but never thought it could be real. Shows what I know. I don't know to load them photos up to the site either. Damn shame too, cause I got some whoppers you folks wouldn't believe.

I wonder why no body has ever caught this critter before?

[Ethan Skinner]

Flickr and photobucket are common photo hosters.

[GhostSpider]

Hell, not a single one of Hannah's last birthday pictures is in focus - even though the camera is suppoed to do that for me.

Well, that might have actually been Hannah's fault. Not that I don't think that she isn't photogenic. It's just that sometimes, those with abilities don't photograph well.

[Ron Caliburn]

Speaking of Jersey Devils - Bert would love to be in on this one.

[Holister]

Too bad Bert has been on walk about for months now. Its a shame really. He was a great guy to have on an investigation.

[GhostSpider]

I miss making explosives jokes. It's just not the same when he's not here.

[Holister]

What ever happened to "Boom Boom" Bert anyway. Is he still alive or what? He just sort dropped off the face of the planet.

Well, so do alot of other members I suppose.

[GhostSpider]

This is a dangerous business we're in. Many of us could die god knows where, and no one would ever know.

[Ron Caliburn]

I suspect Bert is alive - mostly because if he did get himself killed, his last act would have involved something devastating a few dozen city blocks.

[Holister]

Thats, um, good to know. So how do you plan on goin' out Ronny Boy? Gun ablazin' or silently into the night?

[Ron Caliburn]

If it's up to me, giving better than I'm getting.

[Holister]

Then why don't you nut up or shut up, and come up here and join me and GS with this Bharghast I have runnin' round up here. Bring the family. We can finally prove once and for all who the better hunter is.

[Ethan Skinner]

Give it a rest, Holister. Who cares who the better hunter is--this ain't some contest. He does his job, you do yours. The End.

You'll have to forgive Holister, Jersey Guy. He's under a lot of durress. Have you had any other sightings, or was this a solo? There are some websites that claim they caught it on tape--maybe you could check them out and do a bit of comparing. See if what you saw matches or if its possibly something new to put down if we can.

[Holister]

Ya right man. I have just been on edge. This guy ever reply at all.....wait....doesn't look like it. Maybe he was just a one time poster.

[Jersey Guy]

Sorry that I have taken so long to reply. Its good to see my topic has had so many responses; some more unusual than originally anticipated, but appreciated none the less.

Of course by now at least one of you should have deduced that I did not actually see The Jersey Devil. I was staying in my hotel room at the Marriot in Deptford, NJ. (nice stay by the way). SO I decided to enlist in this scoiety of yours and make a posting. Since I was in NJ, I figured why not post about some local legend.

Afterall I have been quite successful from the topics and " threads " here in the past, so why not offically join. Most of your wonderful stories and experiences have made me a quite popular novelist.

You should have figured that part out just from my signature on the bottom of the posting.

So thank you all for the several books I have already had published, the two I have being edited as we speak, and the one I currently have in the works. I have even been approached with a movie deal for not one, but two of my books. I would tell you which ones, but afterall, as they say in my profession; " You have to buy the book. "

So again, I thank you. Perhaps I will send you all autographed copies of my latest work.

Keep up the good work, and keep those experience flowing.

[Grace]

I do hope you haven't used any of my works of original fiction (and so noted at the start of each series of creative posts-see the War Stories section) without cutting me in on the action.

I won't sue you, if you have.

But I will have my pound of flesh.

[Kelly]

Can he do that? Seriously?

[Grace]

Legally?

Probably not.

Illegally?

Sure, the law doesn't stop lotsa folks.

Like me.

[Kelly]

You are a scary man somedays Nem.

[Grace]

I'm sorry, but the circles I run in there are things you just don't do.

You don't profit off someone elses labor unless you cut them in for a peice of the action.

If you do manage to scam someone, you don't come back to gloat over it.

And if you got some chump gloating over how they've profitted off you, you send a couple o'guys around with names like "Guido" and "Butch" to collect interest payments. Payment options for the interest usually include broken digits, severe bruising and profuse bleeding. Payment for the principal is made in cash, services or life.

I suppose some folks here may prefer things like copyright infringement, plagerism, lawyers and the courts. But I'm allergic to the courts, never met a lawyer I liked and prefer just getting things done without involving third parties (well, you know, other than Guido and Butch...)

But hey, don't try to play me and there's no reason to be scared.

[Kelly]

You sound more like Tony Sopprano than a paranormal investigator. How did someone like you get involved in the place, well, in the first place?

[Grace]

Well, this may alter your perceptions of me a bit but if I were trying to hide what I am, I wouldn't have posted to begin with.

How I got involved with the Lazlo Society can be found here:

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=1224

[Kelly]

Impressive. for fiction . Lets just say then hypothetically you don't brodcast that to much around Ben. There are days I know it don't seem like it, but he's still a cop.

While on the subject, how much to say, hypothetically find someone for little ol' me sweetie.

[Grace]

While on the subject, how much to say, hypothetically find someone for little ol' me sweetie.

Who ya looking for and do you just want them found or dealt with?

[Grace]

Impressive. for fiction . Lets just say then hypothetically you don't brodcast that to much around Ben. There are days I know it don't seem like it, but he's still a cop.

I'm not looking to cause any trouble with Benji or anyone else who isn't causing me trouble. Hypothetically or otherwise.

Nevertheless, I have a standing policy of no direct contact with with any forum members. It's for my protection but is in everyone's best interest.

[Jersey Guy]

Here I sit with another best seller in my hands. I really do love this site. Its like one large community pool of great story material.

I do have to do some fact checking sometimes, even for the short stories. It may take me awhile to learn the whole story, but this site is a great place to do that and I have all the time I need to do just that.

Some of my favorite material -

1) How Mr. Caliburn rescued his daughter.

2) That Orion 12 incident.

3) The Natasha kidnapping incident.

4) That fight between Azrael and Celeste Darken.

5) Shang Li's little zen quips were entertaining.

6) Most of Mr. Holister's rants were usually amusing.

8) Koralth and Logos had that buisness with that Jeremiah Dark serial killer was good. CBS has contacted about that one.

7) and that thread about that attack on Ron's gun shop a few years back by Khavik. That was gold.

Most of the villain of the week drabble was old hat though. That Khavik however. He seems to have kept you on your toes quite well. You may want to rethink the whole " Not Ron " thing though. The whole evil twin scenario is a little stale.

Finally I come to the whole Celeste Darken - Eilonwy Solstice story.
I have two books about that out already and another started. What can I say. The readers love melodrama.

Let me just say that I and my ever increasing bank accout thank you. Keep up the great work.

[Grace]

You are a right bastard, you know that?

And that's saying something, coming from me.

[Holister]

All I can say bout this is SON OF A BITCH. Seriously, we are riskin' our necks and this guy is makin' a profit from it. I suppose it had to happen eventually. How does this guy sleep at night?