A Message for Ben

[concrete_Angel]

Oh, God, this is getting really upsetting.

[Eilonwy Solstice]

Ben, I . . . I don’t know what to say . . .

[Holister]

You don't have to say anything Ei. I just hope you're happy now. Thats all that matters to me. It always was.....

[Ron Caliburn]

Ben, really.

It's not that I didn't know or she didn't know or anyone on the board with half a brain didn't know.

But posting it like that, were anyone could read it.

Really.

[KonThaak]

And then Gabe's followup... I don't even know what to say about that one.

[Hannah]

Oh Ben,

I'm so sorry Ben. I never ment to hurt you when I gave Wie that shove into dad. It was so hard looking at them around the house, talking about everything they could not to say what they felt or just sitting there in silence.

I didn't think about you and Celeste and how you might feel.

Even when I do good I hurt someone.

I am so worthless some times.

Hannah

[Holister]

Don't blame yourself kid, you did right by your pa and thats that. You're a good kid and deserve someone like Ei looking out for you. I wish you all the best in the world.

[GhostSpider]

Please forgive me for saying this, but Celeste would have said No, Ben.

I know what its like, being a vampire. While I might only feed on emotions,and am certainly not undead, I know what its like to fear for the safety of the people around me. I am constantly afraid, especially after the events in the Dreamstream, that what I do will hurt someone around me.

I'm sorry, I really don't mean to be negative, and I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. I think i'll just shut up now.

[Holister]

No GS..You didn't know her like I did. The moments we shared together. We were intimate...not in a physcial way...but spirtiual.

I remember our first date, how we strolled in the moonlight down by the riverside. How she had a chocolate milkshake and realized she could not use the straw.
How we held hands....

I remember that night when that pack of Hell Hounds chased me down as I searched for Cee after her fight with Azrael. How she collapsed in my arms and I made her drink my blood so she would survive.

I remember our first kiss as it was yesterday...

I remeber staring longingly into her deep violet eyes as she stared into mine.

Yes GS....there was nothing there bewteen us. Nothing at all.

[Greydawn]

Mr. Holister I don't think Mr. GhostSpider was saying that there was nothing there, but that there was and that is why she would have said no, out of a fear of accidently hurting you. She said it on many occasions that she knew what she was and didn't even really trust herself at times.

I had a great deal of respect for her strength and self control, and for your willingness to look beyond what she was and see who she was, I have to agree with Mr. GhostSpider on this one, though it pains me greatly.

[Ethan Skinner]

What happened in the Dreamworld, GhostSpider?

[Holister]

Eilonwy? Say something......please.

[GhostSpider]

Leave her alone Ben.

[Ron Caliburn]

I think you've done enough for one night Ben.

[concrete_Angel]

Lay off the man! He's just bared his soul in front of everyone. Don't just stomp all over it!

[Eilonwy Solstice]

I . . . thanks, Su. Please remember guys, I’m not the only one with feelings or the only one that has had some . . . trouble.

Ben, I’ll . . . well, you read my private message.

[Ron Caliburn]

Lay off the man! He's just bared his soul in front of everyone. Don't just stomp all over it!

When I watch Wie shut off the computer in tears, I think Ben's said enough.

[Hannah]

Don't blame yourself kid, you did right by your pa and thats that. You're a good kid and deserve someone like Ei looking out for you. I wish you all the best in the world.

Thank you Ben,

But you should have someone special, someone to help you look after Molly. I feel bad about taking away someone that could have been the right person for that.

Hannah

PS: There's the girls gym instructor at my school, I think she's single, woudl you like her number?

[Holister]

Ok....once an' for all.

Maybe its the meds and beer talkin', but this has gone on long enough...

Damn Eilonwy......I LOVE YOU!!!!

This whole you can't decide whether your Cee or Ei or both is BS.....I'ld love you just the same.

If you wanna go and be with Ron....have my blessin'....

I hope you'll be happy.

But I wanna hear from you right here an' now that deep down you anin't got nothin' left for me...at all.

See ya at the BBQ....I want your answer then. No need humiliatin' both of us publikly.

[Hannah]

Hi Ben,

That was very sweet of you.

I feel for you, really, and I'm sorry for all the heartache I may have caused, but I really have to say something.

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!?!

You said you didn't wnat to make this public but here you are posting it on a message board for everyone to see.

My dad is out there battling a cult right now, risking his life and you go and post something like this? You know he'll end up reading it.

How is he supposed to put this out of his head? He's going to be wondering about what Wie is going to do.

I'm wondering it too, heck I don't think Wie's even sure.

Ben, if my dad gets distracted and gets hurt because of this . . . this . . . insanity.

Well I don't know what I'd do.

Hannah

PS: Your blessing? Since when does Wie need your blessing or Dad's blessing or anybody's blessing. She's her own woman and can make her own choices.

[GhostSpider]

Ben, damnit, this is the kind of thing that needs to be kept to PM's only.

[Gabriel]

Way to apologize, Ben. That...yeah, that was exactly what I asked you to do when I healed you.

Hannah, if your father or Eilonwy get hurt over this...leave Holister to me.

[Ron Caliburn]

A man has a right to say his piece in the forum he feels most appropriate. In my case I prefer to make those sorts of statements face to face.

Still, Ben's said what was on his mind and in his heart and I respect that.

I don't like what he said one bit, but I still respect it.

I just hope Ben decides to respect Eilonwy and what she has to say to him, even if he don't like it.

Hannah, thanks for your support, but I'll be fine. This isn't the first time I've had to work at keeping my head in the right place.

[Gabriel]

Be safe, my friend... Would that I could be there...

[Clarity]

_____That’s a very romantic thing to say, Mr. Holister. Why is everyone so offended by it? Other than the swear word, I mean?

[KonThaak]

Because Ei is with Ron, now, and Ben has been hoping for a second chance. A lot of us do feel bad for him, since he kinda got dumped, but...his words are upsetting Ei, and if anything, he's killing any chances he might have had with her, should Ron and Ei have decided it wasn't working out.

[concrete_Angel]

Well, I doubt that his keeping this kind of thing a secret is helping anyone either. Might even hurt him in the long run. Just because it's not something that everyone's going to like, it doesn't mean he shouldn't say it. I feel for him, and I just hope that he can get beyond this and live what's left of his life in the semi-normality that he'd most likely expect.

[GhostSpider]

Ellie?

Hell yeah, she's hot.

Better yet, she's a good person too.

[Holister]

.....

[Prof. Rosecrest]

Not helping things Ghost.