one shot to realize a goal, would you take it?

[Kei Nakamura]

Throughout my life I have been seeking answers to things that so many simply write off as "unknowable". In the process of these investigations I have cast aside my credibility with mainstream science, made many new observations, and discovered many new hypothesis to test.

I was given an offer of verifiable subjects, an unlimeted budget, and access to equipment that makes all of my old laboratories seem primitive in comparison. The drawback was simple, Once accepted and acclimated I can't go back.

If you had to give everything up to realize a dream, could you just walk away from it all? I am afraid I can, and have. I can continue to assist, and even arrange for some materiel and information to reach those who need it, but I will not be leaving this wonderous place.

[Ron Caliburn]

I did.


Then I risked the dream on a greater one.

Hannah's smile tells me I did right.

[Kolya]

What place is "this place" Kei? I'm confused.

I don't have any dreams though.

[GhostSpider]

I have a feeling that that is classified.

[DarKnyht]

I also feel like I've sold my soul before, and what I got in return was something of far less worth.

I would weigh the matter carefully before you decide. No matter what you decide, I will try to be there for you if needed.

I owe you that much.

[concrete_Angel]

Dreams are funny things, apparently.

As for souls, the jury's still out on that one.

[Kolya]

Not for me, I don't believe I have a soul either.

Certainly isn't any evidence of one...

[Kei Nakamura]

I did actually deliberate theis one for an extended period of time, I belive that I actually gave teh issue a full hour of deliberation, all other irons in teh fire set to the side while I thought about the possible repercussions.

I will still be glad to help, in any way that I can. I am allowed to send out 2 shipments of up to 3 tons each, twice a month. I can recieve packages at any time as long as a few rules are followed.

1. No transmitters. each box is scanned quite thoroughly and any transmiting device will just delay the package.
2. No assembled expplosive devices, if you need to send some kind of bomb, send the explosives in one package and the detonation method on a seperate plane, we get all of our supplies via aircraft, the loss of which would be annoying.

Yes koyla my physical position in the universe is currently classified, not even the governments of the world know the actual location, although they have an idea or two.

I have gotten permission to use some facilities I have purchased in Vermont as a drop location. Those of you who remember Bert's mansion already know the location, the rooms above will be open for use by society members as needed, just don't interfere with the groundskeepers, or try to bypass any of the security systems, I designed the systems, and they are as indescriminate as they are deadly.

Unless of course some of you are expert virologists trained in the handling, containment, and disposal of assorted viral agents, trust me and just let the basement be, it should be safe for re-entry in about 10 years.

[Eilonwy Solstice]

I did as well. I had to risk everything with no chance of gaining anything . . . I won’t ever be completely whole. But I don’t need to be.

[concrete_Angel]

Of course, thanks to this thread, I've got that damn Eminem song stuck in my head. (Thanks, Kei!)

I think you've got to keep in mind exactly HOW MUCH you want it, and try to be as objective as possible about what would happen if you get it. And not the "my life will be complete" kind of what will happen, I mean a serious searching. The one thing I've learned is that whatever it is you think you want, most likely isn't really what's best, or even what's right for you.

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find you get what you need."

(Whoah, I almost feel like KT now! )

[DroopyDawg]

Ok, I recognize the quote from the Rolling Stones, but I don't know enough Eminem songs to guess which song you have stuck in your head.

Some thing I learned from a book years ago is that if you keep your mind focused on a goal you can align yourself to obtain what you want. Now, when the door of opportunity opens you have one chance to step through or that opportunity is lost. Once you have accepted the opportunity that has been offered the only question is, "Are you happy?" If you are not happy with your choice then you may assume that the choice was not the best one for you. If you are happy then you can assume that you made the right choice. If you don’t know whether or not you are happy then assume nothing. It may just be that you haven’t lived with your decision long enough to know.

The old saying is that hind sight is 20/20. Personally I disagree. I have watched too many people bash themselves for something that was not their fault, yet be able to explain in explicit detail as to why it really is their fault. Or the people who remember a situation which they understood to mean one thing, yet with a few words I was able to shift their perspective so that they saw it in a completely different light.

So, I ask you to consider in return, "Could you give up a dream, to keep it all."

We have the freedom of choice. If you have nothing else, that is still yours. We make choices all of the time. Even when we choose, not to choose, it is a choice we have made.

I would say that you are now worried that you made a bad choice, and that you wish to see if others would have chosen the way you did. In this way you feel that you can feel that your choice was ok. I tell you, that as long as you are happy with who you are and what you are doing then the choice is right by you. What I may of may not have chosen in my life is basically irrelevant to the choices you may have made.

So you focused on a dream, aligned yourself to obtain that dream, were offered the dream, and now you are afraid that the cost was too much. Again I say you are the only one to make that decision. Also keep in mind that people consciously and unconsciously make choices that irrevocably change their world forever, every day. Years ago I remember a group of kids got in to a truck, had been drinking, and were driving too fast. Three were in the cab, and four or five were in the back. The driver lost control, rolled the truck on to the guard rail, sheered the roof off the truck with a light pole, and stopped upside down. The driver and the two passengers in the cap survived. The four or five friends in the back all died. The lives of the ones who lived were never the same again. Now they would most likely say that they had no choice in this, but they did. They chose their actions and have to live with the results.

How about the young lady who has her entire life planned out through college, and knows that she will have children after she's successful and married. Yet in one night of fun where proper precautions are forgotten she winds up pregnant. Now she can't afford to finish college, has to get a minimum wage job, and has to give up on her dreams.

As you see we all have to choose. I may have not chosen like you. I may not have made choices that I consider as big as the choice you made. Just realize though, if I or anyone else were offered a dream and at the time could find not fault with the dream. Then all of us would take the dream we were offered.

So the question comes back around to, "Are you happy?" If you are or are not that is part and parcel with your choice. Just remember, none of us, and I do mean none of us, know the full repercussions of our choices. It is impossible. So don’t beat yourself too badly over this.

Getting back to your question though, “Would I give up everything for a dream?” I would if I though the dream was worth it. There is no other answer. I pray that you find peace with your choices, and as I have offered to others, if you wish a less formal venue to discuss this the PM me. I am always willing to listen.

Droopy Dawg

[Ethan Skinner]

That dream job keeping you busy, Kei Nakamura? You've been quiet.

[Kei Nakamura]

You have no idea Mr. Skinner. Work here moves at a pace that boggles the mind, and I find myself without the normal downtime of waiting for the results of my latest tests.