What do we have against help?

Sophoroto · Post by **Sophoroto** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 11:23 pm

Why when one needs help they are the most hateful and rude to those trying to help?

I am not trying to be mean or hateful with this but I think that it is a good topic for discusion so that we can learn and avoid such in the future.

Shadowstalker · Post by **Shadowstalker** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 11:38 pm

Well now and then some people have a hard time asking for or accepting help. Most of the time it is because they can't get ovet their own Ego.
I am not pointing any figers at anyone. Mainly because most of the people I have worked with seem to know how to keep their ego out of things. And I try to do like wise.

GhostSpider · Post by **GhostSpider** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 11:55 pm

Another reason, especially for those of us in this trade, is paranoia. Sometimes we don't know who to trust. This is especially true for those Lone Gunmen among us.

Shadowstalker · Post by **Shadowstalker** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 1:10 am

Yeah I have noticed.

Sophoroto · Post by **Sophoroto** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 1:55 am

So how do we, not necessarily fix, but maybe remedy it and get people to see that all they are doing is helping evil win by being that way?

Shadowstalker · Post by **Shadowstalker** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:25 am

As Ghost said for some it is Paranoia. Bad part is that for a few it is the only thing that has kept them alive so far.

Sophoroto · Post by **Sophoroto** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:44 am

I understand that, but when it is those that are trusted here why would they be paranoid about getting help. I mean even Mr. Caliburn was more accepting of help from people here and he is the biggest lone gunner we have with the exception of Mr. Greydawn.

Who I guess we would have to call a lone swordsman, don't put a gun in his hand he would probably shoot his own foot. :roll:

concrete_Angel · Post by **concrete_Angel** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:52 am

There are two ways to look at this issue: people who refuse help, and people who refuse to let people help.

Those who refuse the help itself are most likely either too proud to admit they need it, or they're too stubborn to accept it, no matter how often it's offered. Those who refuse to let people help them are most likely just refusing the people. (Even Ron was guilty of this, Soph) Unfortunately, it gets hateful and rude all too quickly. I'll admit I've let my ego push me around before, but hopefully, I haven't made any enemies because of it, and I'd like to think that I won't do it again. I'm certainly trying.

GhostSpider · Post by **GhostSpider** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:55 am

Who I guess we would have to call a lone swordsman, don't put a gun in his hand he would probably shoot his own foot.

A man after my own heart. :lol:

concrete_Angel · Post by **concrete_Angel** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 4:02 am

Of course! If he was aiming for it, it'd go off in the opposite direction! :lol:

Sophoroto · Post by **Sophoroto** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 4:13 am

concrete_Angel wrote:Of course! If he was aiming for it, it'd go off in the opposite direction!

Trust me I shoot better than he does, of course my dad taught me to use guns before he and my mom died.

I deffinately don't want to be in the area if Mr. Greydawn is using a gun it is safer that way. :lol:

concrete_Angel · Post by **concrete_Angel** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 4:15 am

Smart kid.

Sophoroto · Post by **Sophoroto** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 4:16 am

concrete_Angel wrote:There are two ways to look at this issue: people who refuse help, and people who refuse to let people help.

Those who refuse the help itself are most likely either too proud to admit they need it, or they're too stubborn to accept it, no matter how often it's offered. Those who refuse to let people help them are most likely just refusing the people. (Even Ron was guilty of this, Soph) Unfortunately, it gets hateful and rude all too quickly. I'll admit I've let my ego push me around before, but hopefully, I haven't made any enemies because of it, and I'd like to think that I won't do it again. I'm certainly trying.

This is why I started this discussion was so maybe those of us here might look at ourselves and see what we are doing and maybe like you said try not to do it in the future or at least try not to.

concrete_Angel · Post by **concrete_Angel** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 4:21 am

I believe the list goes:
Identify the problem
Determine the reasons
Accept the behavior is present
Overcome the problem
Prevent further issues

Sophoroto · Post by **Sophoroto** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 4:40 am

Yeah something like that.

GhostSpider · Post by **GhostSpider** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 4:50 am

AHH, so there is a list. Now I see where i've been going wrong.

My list:
Identify problem
Find problem
Liquidate problem
Problem solved

concrete_Angel · Post by **concrete_Angel** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 4:53 am

Nice.

So, Sophomore, I assume you started this debate because you saw a growing trend, correct? Care to elaborate?

Sophoroto · Post by **Sophoroto** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 5:08 am

Yes, I saw that to many people were getting hateful and in some case just plain mean. I thought maybe if we had a dicussion on the topic people here would see what I have seen and we could correct it or at the least curb it to a tollerable level.

Like I said in the beginning of this thread I am not trying to be mean or hateful, and I am not trying to point a finger at anybody inparticular.

Hell I have been guilty of it in a sense when I went off on your brother. I don't like it when people are hateful or mean and as you read I have a tendency to loose control of my magic when I get upset. I am usually very up beat and try to look at the positive side of everything but when the people I like and respect start saying hurtful things to each other it just sets me off.

Ok off the soap box.

concrete_Angel · Post by **concrete_Angel** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 9:52 pm

Yeah, apparently there are enough people here that are riding the edge of an attitude so closely that debates get turned into insults and anger too quickly. Most likely it's their situations that get them on edge, but it's still wisest to believe that if someone's disagreeing with a point, they're not instantly attacking the person making it.

As for James, I've talked to him, and he's, well, he's a little upset now, so I thought it would be best if he stopped posting if the only thing he's going to say is negative. That doesn't really help anyone.

Sophoroto · Post by **Sophoroto** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 11:01 pm

Tell him that if it helps I know the type of pain he is going through about ten months ago I lost my mom and dad to a car wreck. So I kind of know his pain, though the circumstances were different.

GhostSpider · Post by **GhostSpider** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 11:37 pm

Yeah, apparently there are enough people here that are riding the edge of an attitude so closely that debates get turned into insults and anger too quickly.

*cough* Me. *cough*

Sophoroto, it is a sad fact, but most of us understand that kind of pain. We have all lost someone we love, whether to something mundane or supernatural.

Sophoroto · Post by **Sophoroto** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 11:50 pm

I know that is why I don't really talk that much about it here, becase you guys have more important things to do. Besides the fact it is kind of a downer.

Shadowstalker · Post by **Shadowstalker** » Mon Aug 20, 2007 12:12 am

As Ghost said most of us here know that pain, in one degree or another.

GhostSpider · Post by **GhostSpider** » Mon Aug 20, 2007 1:24 am

Sophoroto, one of those important things we do here is help other Society members, even if all they need is someone to talk to. It's still very painful for me to talk about my siblings, but I have found that it does help. Besides, talking about those we lost can help us remember them, and why it is we fight.

Koralth · Post by **Koralth** » Mon Aug 20, 2007 1:34 am

Soph,
I agree completely that it is counterproductive not to ask for help when you need it... it turned out OK for me this last time, but... I know it could have gone much worse if that bug had backup. It was wallowing in self pity that kept me from contacting/asking anyone for help.

and I know also that my case isn't the only one you're talking to, because I really don't remember either Logos or myself becoming hostile when offered help.

Soph, feel free to vent. We all know I've done my fair share, too. Honestly, it doesn't help anyone to bottle your emotions up, and if you need to talk, feel free. If you don't want to do so publicly, I'm positive there are many here who would be more than willing to talk to you about how you are. There are many who agree that I'm a very empathetic person, myself... Just don't ask me for any psychiatric advise, my therapist might get upset. :lol:

concrete_Angel · Post by **concrete_Angel** » Mon Aug 20, 2007 3:28 am

Oh, let's not get into another psychiatric discussion, PLEASE??

As for pain and loss, I'm glad I have the advantage I do. Losing someone is much easier to deal with if you can talk to them at least once more just to say goodbye and tell them how you feel. I guess that's why I'm not as upset as James is right now, although if he wants to say goodbye, I'm certainly willing to help. (well, at least that's part of the problem, anyway)

Oh, and K, we REALLY need to figure out who's sending the bugs before any more show up, and GS, I WASN'T talking about you, if you believe that.

Ron Caliburn · Post by **Ron Caliburn** » Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:29 am

I'm sure there are a few psychiatrists who could make their careers off a case study of the Lazlo Society.

Sophoroto · Post by **Sophoroto** » Mon Aug 20, 2007 10:27 am

I don't bottle up my emotions, and I talk to others about how I feel about my parents death, Mr. Phillips, Mr. Greydawn and the list goes on. I come here to learn about the paranormal and read the stories on how to deal with them mostly, and I guess give my opinion on situations. But I will take your advice to haeart and I thank you for the offers of support and I will be sure and let you know if I need to talk about it or anything else that is bothering me.

Who knows might save me, actually Mr. Greydawn, some money on reair bills. :wink:

Ron Caliburn · Post by **Ron Caliburn** » Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:53 pm

On the origional topic - admitting you need help is the same as admitting your incapable of doing something.

Probably something to do with the psychological makeup of people who regularly deal in the impossible.

concrete_Angel · Post by **concrete_Angel** » Tue Aug 21, 2007 1:26 am

Admitting you need help means you're having trouble, not that you can't do something.