Robin's Pet Monster

[Ron Caliburn]

So, when I first saw Robin - well I didn’t give him much credit. He might be 18, and pretty big, but he looks like 16 and carries himself like 15. Of course using the recognition signal of a stuffed, plush zebra didn’t help things much.

Neither did his sandals or his tape wrapped glasses.

But hey, this is why I’m in this line of work - protect those who can’t protect themselves. Besides, Mr. Fluffers seemed to like him - and his cats.

You can always trust a cat.

The Shih-Tzu tried to jump on Mr. Fluffers though, and Fluffers was up on my shoulder faster than you could blink.

I’m not sure exactly what he thought of me, but usually people look at me like that after I’ve saved their lives - not before.

When he produced that old .410 from the duffel bag, I just about had a coronary. He did nothing to prove the weapon wasn’t loaded, or to keep the barrel point away from killable or breakable things.

I relieved him of the weapon, and after a preliminary inspection, I decided that this gun was more likely to kill Robin than save his life and I told him so.

It pretty much crushed him to hear that . . . but it was true. I wouldn’t be much of a good guy if I let him kill himself with an unsafe gun.

Normally I work alone, but something told me tonight an extra gun would be necessary, so I took Robin to the local shooting range and we spent a couple hours pouring rounds through a UMC and a Para-Ord .45. Being the big kid he was he handled the recoil pretty well, and after a few clips, he really got into it.

He’s no marksman, yet, but I wasn’t worried about him putting the rounds into me or Mr. Fluffers by mistake.

Then we went to his place to scout things out a bit. I had to work at blending in as a “normal” seeing as his mom was around.

I could give a few fat momma jokes at this point, but seeing as I taught Robin how to shoot I’ll lay off.

His little brother is an unpleasant whelp too. I wanted to smack him the moment I saw him. The few minutes I was exposed to him made me want to shoot him.

Anyway, it was pretty obvious that there was something in there. I wasn’t about to open it up during the daylight, but you could see the places the door had been dented and it looked like something got dragged in there. Mr Fluffers took one look at the shed and high tailed it back to my car.

The druggie couch in the bushes was a pretty nasty sight too. Robin and I loaded it into the back of my car and drove it to a gravel pit where we cremated it.

We waited until after dark. Robin’s mother took the kid went out to bingo or something . . . I didn’t really care as long as we had dark and some time to operate.

Okay, now’s the point I got Robin to break the law. I installed a silencer on the UMC and handed it to him. We were in a residential area and the silencer would help avoid attention. It would also cut down on the chance of a stray bullet penetrating someone’s wall. I also made sure Robin knew when to shoot and when not to. I added a tactical light so he could identify his targets a bit better.

I think this is when he started to have some doubts. I don’t think he expected we’d be doing a commando raid on the shed after dark.

Me, I took my Piece and my Blade. Both are nice and quiet. My Saiga is more powerful - but I didn’t want the roar of a shotgun drawing attention to us.

As we crept up on the shed, I could hear something rattling and slithering around. I got Robin to slide next to the door while I stood to the front and off to the side. At my signal, Robin opened the door and I took aim at what was inside.

A cat . . . one of Robin’s cats was sitting there in the shed looking at me with a “Well - did you want something?” look on its face.

Now Robin gets all embarrassed at this point and starts stammering, trying to convince me there was something there. I cut him off. I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t believe there was something. Obviously, it was out so now was the chance to set up some traps for it.

Robin and I stepped into the shed. It was a pretty decent size and while there were a lot of garden tools and stuff in it, there was still some room to move around.

About then we heard a noise from the house. Robin and I turned around and we could see Mr. Fluffers and Robin’s cat shagging on his mother’s bed. . .

I don’t know which one of us realized it first that the cat that was in the house was also the same one that was in the shed with us . . . but it didn’t matter, it still had the drop on us.

I heard Robin yelp as it smacked him and he flew out of the shed. I’d just barely turned back to it when a tentacle pulled my leg out from under me and dragged me all the way into the shed.

The light in the shed disappeared as the door slammed closed. I took a swing at the tentacle around my legs and connected.

The noise I heard could have been speech of some kind - nothing I recognize though - but the thing was obviously intelligent.

And very, very strong.

It threw me against the back wall and I saw stars.

A moment later, it had me by the throat. I was trying to pry it’s tentacles off of me and getting know where when the shed door slid open and I finally got a good look at the thing.

It was me . . .

It was exactly me, right down to the clothing.

And it was killing me.

I couldn’t even yell to Robin to say which one of us was real.

But, that didn’t matter because he figured it out on his own. I don’t know how he knew Good Ron from Evil Ron but he got it on the first try.

Robin bellowed “Get off of him!!” and gestured at Evil Ron. The next thing I knew Evil Ron had been knocked over backwards into the corner of the shed on top of the lawn mower.

Robin had never even touched him!

Next thing I knew Robin was between me and Evil Ron. Evil Ron had changed into a thing like a worm, but about 2 feet thick and 8 feet long. He had 4 very long tentacles and a mouth full of 4-inch long fangs.

Robin was in full fury by now. He was shouting at the thing to stay back. As he did, he gestured again and a line of flames appeared on the floor of the shed, encircling the creature and trapping it in the corner.

It howled at us, something that again sounded a lot like language and tried to rush through the flames at us. As it got close the flames shot up to the roof of the shed and the creature fell back, in obvious pain.

I couldn’t do much at this point, I’d dropped my Piece. So I contended myself with getting to my feet and cheering Robin on.

Not that he needed much encouragement. At this point, he reached into the flames that he’d created and pulled out a ball of fire.

How this didn’t scorch him I don’t know, but he threw the fireball at the thing and made it scream.

I could see by the look on Robin’s face that he was exorcising something deep inside of himself with this, so I stood back and let him run the show.

Besides, by the time, I found my Blade and my Piece, the thing was already on its last legs.

Unfortunately, so were the walls and roof of the shed.

Even worse, that’s when I noticed the can of gasoline next to the lawnmower.

I grabbed Robin and threw him out of the shed. I jumped after him just as the gas can caught.

So much for not getting noticed by the neighbours.

Fortunately, Robin and I had enough time to concoct a cover story (the druggies who hide in the bush probably were smoking up in the shed because we got rid of their couch) and enough time for me and a very satisfied looking Mr. Fluffers to get out of sight.

I’m not circling back tonight, but I’ll check in with Robin in the morning. I’m sure he’ll post his view on what happened tonight. Maybe he can tell us where he got the ability to throw fire around from.

I just hope this clears up the weirdness around the place . . . at least until Robin’s cat has Mr. Fluffers’ kittens.

You can never trust a cat.

[BraveSirRobin]

sorry to take so long to get around to trying to give my view on things... I feel kind of... woozy... or drained... just off...

anyway, sorry my mom was around... like I said earlier, she was supposed to go back down to Grandma's this weekend for... I don't know... something... probably sorting out who got how much for what from last week's garage sale... and she did go down yesterday... she just... came back unexpectedly a couple hours later with no explanation... not sure what she left to do tonight either...

wait... check that: she was off picking up two of the brat's little friends who'll be staying with us for a couple days... actually, I don't really mind... I tend to like them a lot better than the little imp, even if every one else thinks they're problem kids... still, it's gonna make things a mess around here. apparently their mother's having a baby this weekend, hence the need to stay with us... I just took an hour long break from typing this to go improvise some beds for them using couch cushions...

sorry if I freaked out about the shotgun... I mean, it didn't look THAT rusty... but then again, I suppose the cracks in the stock were probably a bad sign, huh? thanks for taking me out shooting, by the by... might have to do that again sometime... Oh, you know, with a name like Mr. Fluffers, I was kind of expecting your cat to be a little... fluffier... how long has it been since you took that poor thing to a vet?

anyway, there was a question as to how I throw fire? well, I had a flame resistant glove and a tennis ball soaked in kerosene, the circle of fire was some well timed pyrotechnics, and the tentacle beast was a muppet... oh, wait, no, that's Debunker's explanation...

honestly... I'm not entirely sure...I mean... I vaguely remember experimenting with auras and assorted sixth senses and stuff a long time ago... that's actually when I met that Wicca friend I mentioned earlier... he said I had some sort of "great power" inside of me, but I kind of wrote the whole thing off between him saying my dad was a full-on devil-dealing witch (even if I was inclined to believe something to that effect at the time as an explanation for why he would suddenly thrown me into his little juvenile asylum with no warning or reason... don't ask) and that he himself had the Great Malinko inside him... once you start mentioning characters from Insane Clown Posse songs as real demonic beings, your credibility kind of goes out the window, you know?

haven't seen any sign of the thing yet... think we got it... it does, however, seem to have left a bit of a smell behind... then again, maybe that's just the burning remains of whatever dead skunks and things it had in there... either way, I think I'm gonna have to get a gas mask if I ever plan on going in the backyard again... ugh...

oh, and assuming there's a connection between the various things that have been happening around here, that might not be the last time you have to fight yourself... keep an eye out for mirrors...

[Ron Caliburn]

The delay is fine. You had a big night after all.

Sorry for leaving with such a mess . . . but it would have been a worse mess if the FD and the PD had found me there.

Ya did good Robin, you should be proud of yourself. I'll meet you at the same place today so we can talk this out a bit.

As for Mr. Fluffers, I didn't name him. I don't even own him. I just watch him for a friend of mine.

Though it might be a good idea to get him to the vet . . . I wish I could see the look on your mom's face when her cat has the kittens.

On second thought, I'd rather not look at your mothers face if it could be avoided.

[Dennis Haverstand]

Congradulations. However, you've done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to lessen the fears I have about what I plan to do later tonight.

I hope this is the last of your monsters, Robin.

[BraveSirRobin]

I hope this is the last of your monsters, Robin.

so do I... but I doubt it will be... had a weird dream last night... don't remember the details, but it's given me kind of a bad feeling, you know?

anyway, Ron, don't think I can make it to meet you there... Mother left all the little monsters in my care, so I'm just a tad busy today... feel free to come by here though, I can use all the help I can get... Mother left a couple hours ago to go see a patient (craziest woman I've ever known and she's a licensed psychologist... what's the world coming to?), and even if she drops back by we can just say you're trying to help me figure out a way to move out of here or whatever...

managed to get the tykes down for a nap about an hour ago, but I don't know how long that'll last... still, I took advantage of the opportunity to go check out the backyard (with a towel wrapped around the lower half of my head to protect my nose... ), see if there was any sign of the thing... couldn't find anything, not so much as a slimy residue... looking inside, I saw the kids were still asleep, so I decided to experiment a little bit and try to replicate some of my feats from last night... concentrating on what I can only guess used to be a piece of the lawnmower, I tried to give it a little nudge with my mind--you know, just scoot it around in the dirt a bit--and PSHOO, off it went across the stream, embedding itself into the far bank... looks like getting this stuff fully under control might take a bit of work...

oh, and feel free with the fat jokes... doesn't bother me in the slightest... matter of fact, I made quite a few of them myself back when my dad had me locked up... nothing thwarts a guy going "that's what yo momma said last night" quite like informing him that he's just admitted to having sex with a human dewgong...

oh, one last thing... tentacle throw + gravity + concrete patio = OW!
think I messed up my wrist on the landing... need to get that looked at...

[Ron Caliburn]

Dennis, I wish you luck with what you are doing tonight.

Robin, I need to hit the highway, my business doesn't run itself so I need to roll for home. I'm sending you a bit of a present . . . to celebrate your first time and what all. Tell me a day when you'll be home and the cow and the imp won't and it will arrive then.

I don't have much advice for you Robin, other than to practice with your newfound abilities. Improve your control and learn how to use them in emergency situations. Whatever we got rid of last night, well that was your first big step into a pretty crazy world. You will find that you start to notice when things are wrong a bit more often from now.

Someone here once compared it to being the only person on the street who can see the burning building. No matter how many times you yell fire, nobody else notices it. You have the choice of watching it burn, or you can do what you can to try and pull people out of the fire.

I think from last night you should feel a little more confident about how to deal with the fire.

[BraveSirRobin]

it's no problem... think I might be able to handle things on my own for a while now...

anyway, I'm currently between jobs, so I can intercept the mail before anyone else gets to it on pretty much any weekday when I'm supposed to be out job-hunting...

guess I'll start seeing if anyone local needs help with anything of this sort... maybe track down some of my friends from the dark days of lock-up... there were some mighty odd kids in there, maybe I'll find some others like me...

[Ron Caliburn]

Okay, when I check out the delivery times I'll send you some goodies. The linking up with others is a good idea too. I don't play well with others, but you might find that it helps you to have a team . . . especially in the early going, so you can watch each other's backs.

[Tabloid Hound]

Speaking of watching each others backs, I've reffered a confident of mine to the site last night, who I'k sure may be of help on occasion when needed as well. I have to warn you all now though, she's a live wire!

[Ron Caliburn]

Always room for one more

[Debunker]

Ron, I gotta hand it to ya, your imagination is a keen as it ever was. And I thought your scribes about our adventure to help Louis from that loon over easter was wild! Why havent you ever sought out a Horror Novel career? You'd be very good at it!

[BraveSirRobin]

what, no critique of my attempted explanation? You're breakin my heart here, Deb.

moving on to more serious business, Ron's care package showed up about half an hour ago... the sound of the delivery guy knocking on the door woke me up and I scrambled to get dressed and go sign for it. slept really badly last night... kept having these horrible dreams... there was a shack out in the woods, filled with crates of sparklers, big mounds of steel wool, and jars full of some silvery powder... people with funny bruises under their noses trying to kill me with everything from LARP weapons with broken glass stuck into the foam to shotguns... then darkness and some thing trying to crawl up my nose... and from there it degenerated into the usual jumbled dream fair, lumberjack/ninja/wizards and the like... still, it's left me with a very bad feeling...

anyway... I'll go post on Ron's present in a more appropriate thread, since it's already been mentioned there...

[Ron Caliburn]

Jake, why do I think that was an attempt at a compliment?

[Willie Long]

...that might not be the last time you have to fight yourself... keep an eye out for mirrors...

Prophetic.