Bert, me, and a DC hotel room

Natasha · Post by **Natasha** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 10:05 am

It was supposed to be, "Hi there." "Hi there." "Let's go." "Ok." Off we go to enjoy some beautiful east coast nature. Murphy, of course, had his own version.

First, some background information.

When Bert appeared in Nalchik we ate dinner together. We decided to make it a tradition to do something together, when the opportunity came. I had the opportunity to meet him in Washington DC back in mid-March before Hannah's rescue.

I arrived before Kolya and Sasha and had some hours to kill before I go to the airport to mee them, so I decided to visit Bert and make him drive me to a nearby park someone told me I must see if in DC and walk around a bit and enjoy the nature before returning to the grey city and going to the airport.

Well, here is what happened when I arrived at the hotel to surprise Bert...... (and I put here in War Stories because it is forum for any experiences, not just battles.)
________________

Bert gave the girl in the hotel lobby the instructions to give me the key to his hotel room when I arrived. Bert really convinced her it was necessary not to make any problems for me. So I took the key and jogged up to the fourth floor and walked down the hall to his room. I knocked on the door, but Bert not answered. I waited 10 seconds, and knocked again. Again, Bert not answered.

I used the key to open the door. I pushed it open a bit and put my head into the room and called out, "Bert?" Again, no response. So I pushed the door all the way open and went into the room. "Bert?" I called again. Nothing. The door closed silently behind me and I was looking around. I thought maybe he was out; if not, I hoped that he would not shoot me because I surprised him. He is very paranoid, you know.

So I was going to call out a little louder. Exactly as I called again "Bert?" was when I saw him coming from the loo. He was half naked with a towel around his waist. I noticed something strange about his right arm. The skin was a different colour from the rest of his body, and I noticed a big scar just behlow his shoulder that seemed to go all the way round his arm. I noticed some other scars on his upper body, too. All this in a nano-second because Bert literally dove behind the bed as I spun around and covered my eyes shouting, "Sorry! Sorry me, please," I said through my hands.

"It is OK now," he replied, with an assuring voice. I turned around he was wearing some shorts and a t-shirt. "Please just step out into the hall for a few minutes while I dress," he said in an exasperated tone.

I gently pulled open the door, and quietly went to the hall, as if it would make any difference now.

We both clearly embarrassed. I paced the hall, waiting for Bert to tell me all was clear. I paced while peering constantly at my shoes. I had a lump in my throat. A lot of memories returned quickly to me, and filled my brain with images I not seen in several years. Even living and working with the guys, they always careful to keep me from seeing such things. My mental wounds not fully healed, and some of them ripped painfully open again.

I not blame Bert, of course, nothing was his fault, but I could not look up from my shoes. Just like when we were in Nalchik. I repeated to myself, "Be normal, be normal be normal," preparing myself for when he would appear in the hall to tell me to come inside the room.

I tried to recall Gale, Athena, Rose, and others have said about confidence, esteem, and courage. It like the first time all over again though. I heard Bert's door open and he appeared in the hallway, all dressed.

"I'm so sorry that happened!" he apologized over and over. He took my hand in his, very gently, and held it as he apologized. "I'm so sorry you had to see that!" He began, "to see me..."

I was shaking from my nerves, I even forgot how to speak English. "Nyyyet, nyet," ('nyet' of course is Russian for 'no') I stuttered, and then I mumbed in Russian, saying things like I should have knocked harder, called louder, called from downstairs, something, anything, that all was my fault.

"I do not understand what you are saying," he interupted me, gently shaking my hand.

I looked at his face for the quickest second possible, and I saw he was genuinely upset by it all. I stepped back from him, "I not called before coming here, sorry me, please," I said all the time peering at my feet. In my head I was repeating, "be normal!" I leaned back, resting against the wall, and then I inhaled deeply, closed my eyes, held my breath for a moment, and then exhaled. I looked at him with shame one more time, very quickly, and then down again.

I was ashamed how I treated him. Nothing was his fault. He even thought I was disgusted by something with him, when it was my own demons chewing on my brain. I saw something with his arm and it looked not normal, but nothing disgusting for me. I was being rude. I was like this with the girls, Michael, and already once with Bert. It not fair to make him suffer a second time. "BE NORMAL!" I was shouting to myself, but I could not raise my head.

I not even had enough courage to explain him the problem.

I inhaled deeply and sighed. "You know that it is nothing about you, da?" I mumbled, still peering at my shoes. "Just me, being stupid." My eyes went from side to side as I learned the pattern of the carpet in the hall by heart.

"Come in, please." Bert said softly. "Let's sit down and calm down for a moment." He tried to lead me inside to sit down.

I made a very nervous smile and walked inside the room behind him, still not looking up. I walked across the room to the little table where a small notepad and pen were laying. I sat down with my knees together, and feet to the outside of the chair's legs. I nervously fiddled with the pen, never looking up from the table.

Bert raided the mini-bar and pulled out a couple of small bottles of vodka. Kneeling beside me he offered me one, hoping there would be a good connection with that particular liquor, it being from my homeland. "Neither of us were at fault, and we both over reacted. Please look at me," he said.

"I hate the smell of vodka," I said with a nervous giggle. Without moving my head I looked at him, then smirked nerviously, taking the bottle, and drunk it completely. I exhaled with a sound like, "fooo", my breath drowning in vodka. I blinked rapidly, screwed up my eyes, and shook my head. Although my hair is short these days, a lock of hair fell over my forehead. I pushed it away and set the empty bottle on the table. "I really hate the smell," I said, waiving my hand in front of my mouth. "Yuck". I turned to Bert, "I am good now. You good?"

"I'm good," he replied with a smile. He drank half of his little bottle and made a sour face. "Gah! How do you Russians drink this stuff?!" he exclaimed.

I smiled innocently and shrugged. "Not for the taste, but effect, I guess." I pushed my empty bottle further away, "I hate the taste, too, if to be honest."

"I really can't stand the taste of any alcohol to be honest." Bert held his nose and gulped down the other half. "But sometimes you need to take the edge off just a little bit." Bert followed up with a "Bleah" and stuck his tongue out. "So, anyway, now that all the excitement is over, I have something for you." Bert ducked out of the room and came back with a brown duffle bag. He pulled out a small sphere that had been wrapped in a pillowcase.

"Ok, so brown bag is non-explosives?" I blushed a bit.

"Well, the orange duffle is usually nothing but explosives. Like, filled with explosives for use all at once, like if I need to blow up an oil rig. The other colors are filled according to a system I have so I know where to look for all the junk I lug along."

I took the sphere from Bert's hand and looked at it with attention. I turned it this way and that way, and held it up to the light. I looked at Bert and raised one eyebrow. "So? What is it?"

"Supposedly, it makes the bearer immune to wards. And I figured that since you were a diabolist, you could make the best use of it," he explained to me.

"Thanks so much!" I exclaimed. I tucked the orb away in one of the small cargo pockets on my olive green pants. "I think it will be useful one day," I smiled.

"You're very welcome." Bert replied, adding a broad grin of his own.

"I brought something for you, too, but I not bring it with me to hotel. It is an, um, surprise."

"Oh really?" Bert said in a genuinely surprised tone with a schoolboy grin on his face.

"Really," I said, with a chuckle. "I am pretty sure you will like it." I scribbled some 3D figures on the pad of paper and continued, "Kolya and Sasha arrive at Dulles in some hours. Want to walk with me for a bit before I go pick them up?"

This the whole reason I came to take Bert from the hotel.

Before he could answer I added, "Then we will have to prepare for the operation to rescue Rhonda. I am pretty nervous, if to be honest. But I already have some wards prepared."

"Sure, I'd love to go for a walk with you. Let me grab some stuff." Bert grabbed a few sidearms and tucked them away on his person, grabbed his badge and his jacket. "Honestly," he began as he went for the hotel room door, holding it open for me. "I'm nervous too. This isn't like any Op I've been on. I'm not sure how to handle not killing the guys trying to kill me."

"Heh," I chuckled, and then a smile crossed my lips. "You trying to be funny, da?" I asked as I walked through the door into the hall.

"Only half joking, I'm afraid. My squad specialized in the exact opposite of what we'll be doing," Bert replied a little sullenly.

I reached into my bum packet and quickly retrieved the hotel room key and said (just like a ninja), "wa!" and stuck it back in my pocket. Bert was obviously perplexed by my behaviour.

The change was subject being very obvious, I think.

I looked at Bert mysteriously out of the corner of my eye, smirked wryly, and shoved my hands deep into my hip pockets and rocked back on my heels. I spun around, and then started walking down the hallway towards the stairs. After a few steps I took my hands from the pockets allowing my arms to sway gently as I glided down the hallway.

"A friend told me to visit Great Falls Park while I am here. You drive, ok?"I said as she tossed the key to the rental car in the air a few inches in front of Bert. I sped up my pace and took longer strides.

"Sounds like fun," he answered while snatching the keys from mid-air. "I hope you know where it is though or we'll be stopping to ask directions." Bert chuckled and I could hear him trot to catch up with me.

"I have no idea where it is. Not my city, not my country," I replied sarcastically.

"Well I'm not from around here either, haha." Bert replied jovially.

"But, yes, sure, I have directions." A few more steps. "After we pick up the guys, you will get your surprise present, too. Half from the guys, half from me."

"Should I be happy or worried?" Bert replied jokingly. "I can't wait to see everyone again. Last time was not what you would call a social visit." Bert chuckled at his own joke.

"I would be happy. If I loved guns, anyway." I cleared my throat, and continued, "yea, the previous visit was very strange. Made the best we could though. Kolya has hinted maybe some trouble results, but you not worry about it."

So much for the hotel encounter.

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 10:22 am

What a mess that started out as! I'm beginning to think Vodka has restorative properties :wink:

Natasha · Post by **Natasha** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 10:24 am

140 million Russians cannot be wrong!

Like I said, we drink for the effect, not the taste.

And, yes, very strange start, but it ended well.

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 10:28 am

Yes! I really enjoyed seeing you again and taking that walk

Natasha · Post by **Natasha** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 10:50 am

Yea, nice park. Better company.

No regrets at all.

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 10:53 am

Awww shucks :oops:

I agree wholeheartedly.

GhostSpider · Post by **GhostSpider** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 5:34 pm

I'd suggest that you two got a room, but it looks like you guys all ready had one. :lol:

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 5:35 pm

*Smacks GhostSpider upside the head*

GhostSpider · Post by **GhostSpider** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 5:43 pm

Ow.

Still, a little pain was so totally worth it to get that dig in. :lol:

Natasha · Post by **Natasha** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 5:49 pm

Room for what?

We went to explore some waterfalls!

GhostSpider · Post by **GhostSpider** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 5:59 pm

Oh, so thats what they're calling it now and days. :lol:

*Braces for another smack to the head*

Shadowstalker · Post by **Shadowstalker** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:05 pm

That depends on the quality of the vodka. Higher Quality and you get less to no Odor.
*Saves Bert and Natasha the the effort and smacks Ghostspider upside the head for them*

Koralth · Post by **Koralth** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 7:10 pm

NNNG! I knew I wasn't the only one who wanted to say my crude jokes at camp... I just beat Ghost to it those few days. You know, Ghost, that we're competitors now, right?

And the cheap wholesale vodka I got a couple of years ago was far from odorless... It was downright nasty, too. Higher quality stuff like what I have now... still have powerful odors, and still taste terrible, just like Bert said... Maybe I got gypped. I want odorless!

Myself I like vodka Apple martinis... Laugh it up, all.

Natasha · Post by **Natasha** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 7:36 pm

Well, I not understand this joke at all, but with the smacking, I guess it some vulgar one.

And I never drank odorless vodka, nevermind the quality. You must have been drinking it too fast to notice (which is what I do).

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 9:31 am

Well, I still enjoy a good bottle of, uh, proto-vodka then.

Never had odorless vodka in my life - and I drank at least enough to fill Lake Onega, at least once.

Anyway, Bert - nothing about the arm should be ashaming. It happens.

And Natasha must be feeling better... she did not run screaming out of the city. But I am still sorry it happened.

Natasha · Post by **Natasha** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 9:50 am

Yea, it was nothing horrible at all. But, hey, we each got our own nuerosis.

So I am changing the subject....

Lake Onega, ah? That is a lot of non-vodka! Onega is 280 km³ by volume.

Speaking of Onega, you ever been to Kizhi island?

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 9:55 am

I do not have much in the way of tact. I was actually trying to compliment you, but, ok, change of subject. Probably best kept private anyway.

No, I never been to Kizhi island. I heard that all-wooden church there is less impressive than it sounds. But, like I said, never been there.

Natasha · Post by **Natasha** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 9:58 am

After my trip north into the forests and islands in Ladoga, I not expect to find anything better. Valaam is so much for tourists though that the monks drive the taxis, but you not have to wonder far into the forest to be all alone. I almost not returned!

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:06 am

Did the old ladies walk faster than you?

Natasha · Post by **Natasha** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:10 am

They were amazing.

Their shoes, basically not shoes at all, and they themselfs all round and old. But they flied through that forest path like faeries.

I was like, "whoa, don't twist an ankle," and they walk right by me talking about that huge boulder over there that a glacier left behind.

I almost converted.

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:12 am

Pilgrim Power.

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:14 am

If they can avoid falling and breaking a hip, Old Women are the most indistructible things on the planet :lol:

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:15 am

Not even I am that curious to ask! :shock:

Natasha · Post by **Natasha** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:17 am

Or if they can avoid falling out of windows. *nudge Kolya*

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:18 am

I love Kharms' stories and letters.

I am going to be laughing for quite a while, thank you.

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:20 am

Do I want to know?

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:24 am

Russian absurdist writer, Daniil Kharms. Not sure if there is a lot about him in English.

He wrote wonderful short stories - depending on the translator, perhaps, the collection is entitled "Happenings".

Sometimes nosey old women leaned too far out the window and fell out to their death.

Some pretty good letters, too.

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:26 am

Hahaha! That is twisted!

Reminds me of a true story,

A woman calls the police on a neighbor accusing them of public indecency. They were lounging around in their backyard naked. The cops arrive and find a 15ft high privacy fence totally enclosing their backyard. "Lady, you can't even see into their backyard!" "Oh yes you can officer! You just need to climb this tree here!"

Sasha · Post by **Sasha** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 12:19 pm

In Soviet Russia, the backyard watches you.

?????

Hannah · Post by **Hannah** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:38 am

Hi Natasha,

Why did you have to say to yourself "Be normal"? Nobody is normal.

Hannah.

PS: I am glad that Bert didn't have to kill anybody.