HI EVERYBODY!

Hit Squirrel · Post by **Hit Squirrel** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 1:03 am

I'm The Hit Squirrel. My friends back home in the wood call me Itchy. I don't scrath alot. I wonder why they call me Itchy?
They're just silly. I can talk. People talk. Most people do. Some people don't. I have a roommate that shares my adventures. His name is Chuck.
He's a raccoon. Hes a real good thief. He once stole a whole jar of peanut butter for me. I ate the whole thing. Chuck doesn't like peanuts. Do like peanuts?
He looks like he wears a mask.
He's funny when he snores. Do you want to know what I can do?
I assassinate monsters. Do you want to hear about it? I like it hear. I got so new shineys. I made ALOT of new friends. I talked with a kolya bear, and a turtle, and a vampire. I don't think he's really a vampire. Maybe he's a ghost. That would be nifty. Do you have ghosts here? Oh there was the nice man who gave me my shineys and the druid dwarf truck driver and the lady who works with Boris to look for moose and squirrel. Not me, another squirrel. But I think he's not real. I saw it in a cartoon? Is Natasha a cartoon? WOW! I like it here. Can I stay?

Shadowstalker · Post by **Shadowstalker** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 1:27 am

Where do I start on this weirdness?

KonThaak · Post by **KonThaak** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 1:41 am

Heh... So what kind of squirrel are you, that you can read, type, use computers, and assassinate monsters?

Hit Squirrel · Post by **Hit Squirrel** » Sun Mar 18, 2007 1:25 am

Im a grey squirrel. Oh, I have a magic amulet that allows me to talk and all that stuff. The white owl gave it to me. Do you know the white owl? He's very smart. I wasn't that smart. I knew what was good though. I remember playing tag in the tree with my friends Squeaks and Ledge. I got dark early so a scampered home. I think it was Fall. I remember playing in the brightly colored leaves. So it must have fall. Do you like fall? The leaves are so pretty. I like the bright colors they turn. Whats your favorite color? I like golden yellow. I got back to my tree and was going to go to sleep. I had a lot of frolicking tomorrow. Not tomorrow tomorrow. The back then tomorrow. Im confused.
Ok. So that is when the boy came. Then the boogeyman came to take the boy away and he was going to eat him. I did not like the boogeyman. He threw rocks at my blackbird friends. He didn't like cats either. I don't like cats. Do you like cats? They eat squirrels. That is when I heard the boy crying. So a lept on the boogeyman's head and scratched his eyes. He howled like this (HOWL!) Well not exactly like but I really hurt him. That is when I crawled down its shirt and began biting him like this (BITE! BITE! BITE!). He kept hitting himself to try and stop me. He smelled bad. I crawled out his pant leg to see the boogeyman hit itself in the belly so hard it fell down. I don't like boogeymen.
That is when the white owl appeared. He swooped down and opened his wings and a flash of light came ut of them and the boogeyman howled and died.
Then the whire owl gave me a magic amulet and told me I was a brave squirrel for rescuing the human boy. I was so happy.
The hman boy ran home. I don't think anyne believed him. But he feeds me and my friends now. He gives us bread bits and nuts and popcorn. I like peanuts. Do you like peanuts.
The white owl also gave me my magic seed rifle that I use to assassinate monsters with my magic sunflower seeds. Im a good squirrel. I want to help. Will you let me help you?

Got to go now. I have to go and assassinate another monster. I hate sewer monsters. Why can't they live in the park?

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Sun Mar 18, 2007 2:04 am

You kill monsters with a high-powered sunflower seed rifle.

If Holister weren't alive I'd swear you were his reincarnation.

So, ever use explosives?

Shadowstalker · Post by **Shadowstalker** » Sun Mar 18, 2007 2:08 am

Don't give em any ideas Bert. I can see it now Explodeing Walnuts. :shock:

KonThaak · Post by **KonThaak** » Sun Mar 18, 2007 11:37 am

Hehehe! I can see it now, Hit Squirrel wearing a bandana, armed with his magic seed rifle, with a belt of walnut grenades strapped to it...

Hit Squirrel, I have a couple questions... How did you find this place, and how are you sending messages to us? While I'm asking questions, do you know what the humans call the area your park is in?

Hit Squirrel · Post by **Hit Squirrel** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:13 am

Your silly mr dwraf druid truck driver man. I'm using a computer. Do you have a computer? I like my computer. I can chat and leave messages and talk to you and smurf the web. Why would humans want to put smurf in webs I don't know? Do you know? I don't get it. Ok. The humans call it Highland Park. This is where my tree is and my computer is in my tree. I can see a church and a hospital and the lake and the cemeteray and all the people coming and going. I like my tree. Do you own a tree? You should. A tree is real fun. Mine has acorns in the fall. The leaves change color too. Does your change color. I like peanuts. I have a walnut carrying case for my magic seed rifle. No walnut bombs though. I do have magic acorns that let me turn monsters to stone. I don't like monsters. Do you like monsters? They're bad!!! Do you need a monster assassinated? I can assassinate monsters. Let me help PLEASE!!!!!!! Oops, got to go, Rodney has gotten himself stuck in the trash can again. Silly oppossum.

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:52 am

I'm interested in this White Owl you spoke of. Can you elaborate?

And no, I'm not a Real Turtle.

Shang Li · Post by **Shang Li** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 10:57 am

Maybe I should send Okkikan to say "Hi"?

Mr. Squirrel, would you be frightened if I sent a friend of mine to say hello and meet your owl friend? (He is a fox spirit, but he doesn't eat squirrels - might annoy you by chasing you up a tree, but that would be about it, he is sometimes too playfull for his own good)

If you think it would bother you, I won't send send him, little one, it is just that he can see, hear, and smell better than I can.

Hit Squirrel · Post by **Hit Squirrel** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 2:38 pm

Bert_the_Turtle wrote:I'm interested in this White Owl you spoke of. Can you elaborate?

And no, I'm not a Real Turtle.

Are you sure you're not a real turtle? You sound lie a real turtle. But if you say you are not a real turte then I guess you are a mock turtle. Hehehe.
Do you like real turtles? Why do you want to know about The White Owl? He was nice. He saved me and the boy from that Boogeyman. He also gave me my magic sunflower seed rifle. I made the walnut carrying case myself. Do you like walnuts? I prefer peanuts. The honey roasted are my favorite. Chocolate is not bad either. Do you like chocolate? You sound like you eat chocolate.
I though The White Owl was going eat me! Owls eat squirrels you know. So I was so scared when he swooped down a grabbed me. But he saved me and put me down on a tree branch. He then opened his wings and a bright flash may the boogeyan die. I thought that was so cool! Did you think it was cool? I did. Have you seen him too? Hes a good owl. He gave me my magic amulet too. He told me "Itchy" Thats my real name, but we have to keep it a secret for now. I am the mysterious Hit Squirrel now. He said "Itchy, you are a brave squirrel for rescuing that boy from that monster. Here is a magic amulet to allow you to speak and learn as the humans do.
It will allow you to fly as well, and many other things too my brave squirrel. So from now on, you must protect the animals and people from the bad monsters who hunt them both. " I said " YES, I would do it. " I shook my tail I was so happy. Now I could protect people and my animal friends from all those big bad monsters. Those monsters that are not bad I try to help and I turn tham into animals too.
I only assassinate bad monsters, not good monsters.

I wanna help. Can I. My koyla bear wants me to help. I like mr koyla bear. Does he know the chinese food guy with the pet fox who thinks Im a boy squirrel? Im a girl squirrel can't you tell? I don't have Zipper's danglies. The fox chased me up a tree. I threw an acorn at at it. I hit it in the head.

I also have a bunch of new magical shienys. Im one tough Hit Squirrel now. Monsters beware the mysterious monster assassin known as The Hit Squirrel. Hehe.

DarKnyht · Post by **DarKnyht** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 3:15 pm

Man, the things that happen in a week.

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 3:18 pm

Bert_the_Turtle wrote:I'm interested in this White Owl you spoke of. Can you elaborate?

Non-human? Check.
Chick? need_more_data

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 3:18 pm

DarKnyht wrote:Man, the things that happen in a week.

Enough to send you back to the mountains, huh?

Natasha · Post by **Natasha** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 6:10 pm

She contacted you, about the job, Kolya?

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 6:14 pm

Yes, yes she did.

Although I am not sure how you got her to concentrate long enough to write to me.

Natasha · Post by **Natasha** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 6:15 pm

It required a bit of pushing, yes.

Shadowstalker · Post by **Shadowstalker** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:49 pm

What Mission? You hired the Squirrel Kolya?

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 9:00 pm

I hired the Hit Squirrel, that is correct...

I hired her to assassinate a runaway Alu Demon Hound.

Shadowstalker · Post by **Shadowstalker** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 9:10 pm

That is either inspired or demented possiblly Both, I am not sure? :shock:

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 9:14 pm

Personally, I think both.

Natasha · Post by **Natasha** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 9:17 pm

I agree with you both.

Shadowstalker · Post by **Shadowstalker** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 9:17 pm

Yeah I can agree with that. All of the sudden I almost feel sorry for that demon, Almost. I will add a couple pounds of Honey roasted peanuts to the bounty on the Demon's head.

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 9:23 pm

I really am hoping to be blown away by HS's work.

KonThaak · Post by **KonThaak** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 10:27 pm

I'll wait for the good news.

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 10:28 pm

That's brilliant and scary at the same time.

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 12:24 am

Yes, yes it is.

Hit Squirrel · Post by **Hit Squirrel** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:13 am

I'M BACK!

Boy that was fun. I assassinated an evil dog monster in a cave in Mexico because mr koyla bear wanted it dead. So I assassinated it Hit Squirrel style. I did a good job. It wasn't easy. Do I I do good? When do I get paid? It was mean and scary. So I shot it twice with my leech seeds to weaken it. It went (HOWL!) then fell to the ground. Thats when I shot it with a sunflower seed and blinded it with a big flash of light like this (FLASH). Then when it couldn't see me and still weak I used my shiney amulet tokill it and send it away like this (POOF!). I did not like that doggie monster. But it was a bad monster. So I had to assassinate it. Do you think it was a good monster. It wasn't. It was going to attack some people. I like people too, not just animals. So I jumped into action. I did very good. It was scary looking. It looked like a wolf man, but ot quite the same. It didn't have the same legs and had a more human looking body.
Did you want a trophy mr kolya bear? I assaasinated it too quickly. I should have itten off a ear or hand or its whole head. I could have went (BITE BIT BITE) and taken its head off. Did I do good mr kola bear? I hope I did good. This was my first real big job and I wanted to do oh so good. I liked being able to help. Can I help someone else. You can send the peanuts to my PO Box in Highland Park. I will send you the details mr kolya bear. Say hi to Natasha and Boris for me. They hunt "Moose & Squirrel" hehe, but not me. Im not the same squirrel but I fly just like Rocky does. Just like this (SWOOSH). Can you fly? The bad doggie monster in Mexico is assassinated. Who can I help next?

Shadowstalker · Post by **Shadowstalker** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:33 am

Ok this is worrisome it seems to have worked. :shock:

Shang Li · Post by **Shang Li** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:42 am

Mr. Squirrel, does the word Kami mean anything to you? Or perhaps O'kami?