Can you hear me now? Good, Mr. JFK!

[Tabloid Hound]

Normally this is an article that I would just laugh about and move on to the next (actually, I did at first) but then I got a very unusual email from a source who claims he works for the US government. He told me that he wrote this article and sent it in to the tabloids as a hidden warning of a black op activity of the most bizarre. First off display the tabloid and I'll elaborate on it.

NEW CELL PHONES LET YOU REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONE -- FROM THE DEAD!
Govt. using device for war on terrorism!

A Revolutionary new cell phone lets you talk to the dead -- for just five cents a minute!

The unique device, developed by a secret division of the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), uses molecular energy waves, which are as different as fingerprints, to locate and communicate with the deceased -- no matter how long they've been dead.

"This energy becomes embedded in any object that touches our bodies for an extended period of time, such as a wedding ring or a pendant," explains a DARPA researcher who has used the phone to talk with his dead father. "A special scanner reads the energy waves from the object, then uses the waves to connect with the afterlife."

Pentagon officials hope to contact history's greatest political and military leaders to obtain advice for the war on terrorism.

So far they've spoken with Abraham Lincoln, Dwight Eisenhower and Gen. George Patton.

But it probably won't be long before the so-called "dead phones" become available to the general public.

"This technology will completely revolutionize the way we think about death," says the DARPA researcher. "Once it hits the commercial market, everyone in the world will be reconnecting with long-dead family members. And it's amazingly cheap.

"Now when people say, 'the line's gone dead,' it'll have a completely different meaning."

Like I said, its a ridiculous article, but in light of the call for help from this secret source, I thought I'd send this out. The email had little to offer besides the following notes;

-Certain Government divisions have been trying through paranormal means to contact the dead for over a decade or more now.

-In theory if they succeed, they can attain all kinds of information ranging from getting accurate historical info straight from the people who were there or questioning dead solders who may have info and intelligence about their enemies they discovered before their death (spies who were caught and killed would be especially useful), or even contacting deceased family members of select individuals to attain information for blackmail purposes or worse. Just imagine the wealth of knowledge one can get through this method.

-The source isnt sure just how far, but it seems they are making progress in this research and have made contact!

The source went on to say that he wrote this article in such a way that government officials will overlook it (the cell phone angle was a nice touch to throw of the scent), but his hope is to get people’s attention and look into this possible experiment. Does anyone out there have any thoughts on this possible conspiracy?

[mr. e]

well, the article is unlikely, but the info on the goverments secret projects is probably real.

i'm sure you know of the class of people who can create devices which mimic certain mental powers. the "Psi-mechanics", for lack of a better term, are rare, but i have met a few. their devices are beyond comprehension by technological veiwpoints, but if one got it into his head to build a "Ghostphone" it would only be a matter of time before they manage to make something.

i have no doubt that the goverment has people of this talent in their employ. with the intellegence communities documented interest in paranormal abilities, it would only be a matter of time before they would recruit one.

[Ron Caliburn]

I've tweaked my goggles to let me see ghosts, so why not a phone that can talk to the dead.

I wonder what the long distance charges would be like.

[Brother Hotep]

I was hoping it might have came out of a real website.. ... Oh well. I'll Won't contact the Mothership..

[Debunker]

This is absoultely absurd people. What more do I need to say?

[The Traveler King]

This is absoultely absurd people. What more do I need to say?

Absurd or not, these kinds of things are being at least looked at. Most are being built with off the shelf parts, believe it or not. Tabloid Hound, your device sounds fairly close to something I am familiar with, though the one I saw function wasn't made for talking to the dead.

[Tabloid Hound]

This is absoultely absurd people. What more do I need to say?

Tabloid Hound, your device sounds fairly close to something I am familiar with, though the one I saw function wasn't made for talking to the dead.

Oh Yeah? What was it made for?

[The Traveler King]

That would be telling, but if you've ingested enough pop culture over the last decade and a half, you should be able to puzzle it out on your own.