Muppet Mayhem!

[Bert_the_Turtle]

So many people were eagerly anticipating news of Ron's encounter with The Muppet Show, I thought it deserved its own thread.

So, we sat down (yes I was recording the entire event) to watch. Made some popcorn.

DVD Starts. Ron is looking very, grumpy. The introduction plays, he's kinda getting into the music.

Kermit comes on and does the introductions. He cracks a smile at Fozzy Bear and the two Old Guys (Statler and Waldorf).

I'm grinning like the cat that got the canary.

Then disaster struck.

The Monster Brigade came out.

I give myself a mental kick and an "Oh Fuck."

My expression must've been identicle to the one when I tasted Buckley's for the first time (Canadian Cold Medicine).


Ron goes ballistic on a rant about how it was teaching children that monsters were cuddly sweet creatures, not the horrible slathering beasts they really are.

And he goes on.

And on.

And on.

I was sorely tempted to use my tazer at one point.

And no amount of effort could calm him down.

God help me, I let loose a monster

[Shadowstalker]

Oh jeez Ron you really have to chill out. I am surprised that Rose didn't tazer him She loves the Muppets. Oh I am likely going to hear about this.

[Holister]

Hello Uncle Ben's Friends

Im Moly. Mommy is letting me use her computer. I love my mommy. Uncle Ben is sick so me and mommy have to wait for him to get better.
Im gonna bring him him a teddy bear so he feels better and to chase away the dark man.

Mommy said that you are talking about The Muppets. I love The Muppets I like Kermit, and Fozzy Bear, and Gonzo he is funny, and Miss Piggy she reminds me of Miss Cee Cee, and Ralph the dog, and the two old guys in the ceiling are mean to Fozzy. They are poopy heads.

I like the funny monsters too. They are cute and cuddley and funny and nice. Mr Ron is a poopy head too.
They are good monsters, not bad monsters like the dark man and that creepy house. I like The Muppets.
Mr. Ron needs a time out!

Ok I have to go now. Mommy needs to use her computer again. Ok nice friends of Uncle Ben, Bye Bye.

[Bert_the_Turtle]

You're very right there kiddo.

Say, do you think there's anything you could do to help him get better faster?

[Celeste Darken]

How exactly do I remind you of Miss Piggy, Molly?

[Bert_the_Turtle]

Probably because Miss Piggy is violent and beats the snot out of people, but at the same time can be sweet.

[Razor]

There you go.

[Celeste Darken]

Ah. I will concede on that point, but I am a little . . . concerned about the idea of a "Kermit" in my . . . unlife.

. . . all right, and I have a certain amount of pride left over from my life as a human, too.

I am not fat like Miss Piggy.

[Bert_the_Turtle]

Come to think of it, I've never seen a fat vampire.

And you know what they say, there's someone for everyone out there.

[Celeste Darken]

Try Africa. I believe the legends over there suggest witches and vampires were . . . big-boned.

[Razor]

Hrmm.. I think Ben wants to be your Kermit.

[Holister]

(Bolts upright yet again from his coma)

"RIBBIT!!!"

(Crashes back into eternal sleep)

[Bert_the_Turtle]

Oh yeah, I think if Ron and Celeste make out it'll revive Ben for good.

[Razor]

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAAAAAA WuaHAHAHahaAHahahaAAAA *falls over gasping for breath* ..sorry!

[Ron Caliburn]

I invite you into my home and look what I get . . .


Bah.

[Bert_the_Turtle]

Well, that'll teach ya to have people like us over.

[Shadowstalker]

Bert be nice. It was funny tho.

[Bert_the_Turtle]

I'm sorry. I joke and all, but Ron is a standup guy. A little tightly wound, but who among us isn't?

[Ron Caliburn]

I'm not tightly wound, I just worry about what will happen to this place when we have an entire generation who thinks that monsters are cute and friendly and treats those who try to warn them otherwise as a "poopy head."

[Shadowstalker]

Ron I think this is an overreaction by you, look Molly like a lot of kids can tell the differance between what is fake on TV and what is real. Molly is I think haveing issues with you because you are have issues with something that is just supposed to be fun, and yes you are a bit tightly wound. Thank god nobody tried to show Ron Sesame Street.

[Kolya]

Ron and I were separated at birth. He was taken into one compound, and I was taken into another compound.

I am with Ron on this. Children are tender and most certainly they do not always know real from fake. They may be clever, but things get ingrained in childhood that manifest themselves later in life.

[Shadowstalker]

Jeez Ron, Kolya do I have to point out that a lot of the people here Grew up Watching the Muppets and a lot of other things that are much stranger,and I think most of us resonablely well how do I put this (Normal?) "Admitedly that may not be the case for everyone Looking at Holister and Bert"

[Bert_the_Turtle]

If I were normal I wouldn't be a Paranoid Survivalist that likes to blow things up.

[Shadowstalker]

You make my point, but the fact is none of us are exactly normal. Just that some of us are a little closer to it than others.

[Kolya]

In general, we must not rely on children to innately understand real from make believe. Careful attention must be paid to children to ensure that something nasty does not pop up later in life.

That's all. Nothing against muppets, specifically, whatever they are. But everything against reinforceing the poopy head response to someone trying to help.

[Holister]

(rises from the bed)

"How dare you compare me to Bert! Im obviouly far more deranged!"

(back to sleep)

[Shadowstalker]

Someone remind me when I get up there to pop Holister upside his head.

[Kolya]

I was about suggest that.

[Ron Caliburn]

In our grandparent's generation, what was good and what was evil was clearly defined.

But since then, the influence of mass media has made those definitions harder and harder to comprehend. Some would argue that the defiitions have mroe or less ceased to exist already.

Making monsters cute and cudly or having vampires be sexy and heroic just further muddies the issue and reduces the odds for survival of those who might ever encounter such.

[KonThaak]

As for the impressionability of children... I didn't realize that cartoons weren't real until I was 8 or 9... >_> I blame "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" for most of those delusions...

Nevertheless, I knew the difference between the cute, cuddly monsters and the brain-sucking monsters. The former are cute, cuddly, and fun to play with. The latter...well, they suck your brains. And they're bad.

So even though I was "warped" by American television, I still managed to tell the difference.

And if a child so dense as to still think cartoons are "real" by age 8 or 9 can tell the difference, I don't hold a great deal of worry for everyone else.

Now, convincing everyone of the reality of the matter... That's something that's been a great difficulty ever since science started disproving things back in the sixteenth century...