Hiway Patrol to Hell

[Billy J.]

Here I sit in the bed of my truck on route to DC and stare up at that there sky an think to myself " Dam sure is alot of sky? " All filosofy aside here folks I tell you what, them hiways ain't as safe as they used to. I tell ya'll why.

There I was the utter night just crusin' along with this here hitchiker fella named Jimmy. Seemed like a nice enough fella, no bloody axe or anything, so I figures I stop an give Jimmy boy there a ride. Hell, I enjoys the company.

So there we are crusin along goin only 20 or so miles over the limit when all of a dam sudden I sees flashin lights in Gertie's rearview. So I think to myself, " Dam it to heck, What did I do now? " So I pulls over and wait fer the cop to do the same. Had to be a state boy, they just so fancy dancy in their unifurms and shiny badges. So he pulls over behind me, headlights and flashers blarin' in my face, so I can't see for a hill of beans.

So Im waitin, an sittin, and waitin. God lord almighty was this pig gonna give me a ticket or what already? Well it takes that smokey about 10 friggin minutes to get out of his car and stroll up to my door. Of course I'm about to let this smokey have it cause he dam near popped four of six tops as it was. He gets up to my window, I turn, and HE PULLS ME THROUGH THE DAM OPEN WINDOW is what he does!!!

Holy heck, jumpin Jebus palomina!! I was not xpectin' that to happen. So I try to get up and shake it off, when this here smokey picks me up and hurls me over my hood. This was gonna be one of them nights.

I try an get up, just in ime to that there hitchhiker Jimmy try and make a dash for it. That smokey pulls out some dam hand cannon and shoots the poor bastard, and well, we'll miss Jimmy.

As he was distracted an all I got up and pulled my .45 and shot that pig dead on in the chest. Cept it wasn't blood that came out, rather it looked like ol' oil or tar or some crap like that. So I shoots him until my mag is empty, droppin five in the chest, one in the shoulder, and two in the head.

I dropped that pig like a sinner drops a bad habbit on Sunday mornin' in church I tell you what. I smoked the smokey. Hell his head popped like an Alamo left out in the noon day sun. But hell, I figure I can't leave some dead demon cop on the side of the road, it my distract from this here scenery, so I drag his stinkin' carcass back to his car, take everything that wasn't bolted down, toss the body in, and empty a can of of diesel on it. I gets about 10 feet away, toss a lit pack of matches, and hit the dirt. That car went up like the sun over Dallas.

Course I gets up, dust myself up, get back to my truck and get back on the road. " Man that sky sure is pirty. "

[finder_fee]

Here's the funny thing... found the report on this one...

Report says burned car on the side of the highway... nothing about burned cop inside it...

Fi

[Grace]

That's what I like about these things. They don't leave evidence.

Mighty considerate of them, if you ask me.

[skeptic]

Here's the funny thing... found the report on this one...

Report says burned car on the side of the highway... nothing about burned cop inside it...

Fi

Any word on how the cop managed to let his vehicle get stolen?

And is there a manhunt for the thief that actually stole the vehicle?

[Billy J.]

Cuz he was a demon smokey that got smoked. Weren't ya' payin atenshun there son.

They lucky I just burned the thing, heck, who am I kiddin, Im saving the good stuff for DC.

[skeptic]

I was asking Fi as she has information on the actual investigation.

But, ok, let's say the vehicle wasn't stolen. The cop driving that car - demon or not - has a personnel file with the police department. Unless you are going to try to claim that the demon just painted its car and sewed its own uniform. In which case there would still be some evidence left whether or not it was an actual police car, starting with an accounting of the police car fleet.

[finder_fee]

Oh, it was an actual police car. Er, sherrif's car actualy. But the guy who it is registered to is currently on vacation. They're having difficulty phoning him at his Motel for some reason.

Fi