Kolya v. Sasha
Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 12:59 pm
Sasha owns a small house somewhere near Moscow (that is as specific as he allows me to get). Kolya, Sasha, and I were there waiting for Roma and Lyosh to show up. I was sitting in his huge comfy chair that faces the television that according to two people has never ever been switched on. I may not even be plugged in. Anyway, I was reading some Mark Twain stories. I heard Sasha ask, "alright are you ready to have your ass kicked?" and Kolya replied, "I'm ready to let you try." And then the usual verbal abuse back and forth started up. I did not get out of the chair. I have grown used to the boys wrestling. It is at least a weekly event. And both of them have gone some time without wrestling each other (well, not Kolya since time was standing still for so long but anyway). This one had a lot of energy to be released.
I could hear them trying to pin each other to the floor (usually with a forearm across the throat) when suddenly a train slammed into the back of the chair, throwing me onto the floor, centimeters from going through the infamous television. I managed to get upright and while sitting I heard vicious growling and name calling, as the chair jostled, as they grappled with each other. Then suddenly Kolya popped up to his feet and Sasha was wrapped around his back; his arms had Kolya in an effective sleeper hold and his legs wrapped around Kolya's hips and thighs. Kolya stepped backwards tripping over the chair using Sasha to break his fall but they just rolled and Sasha maintained the sleeper hold. Kolya's face was turning blue.
"Stop it!" I shouted and ran over to them and started to pummel Sasha's forearms but he probably did not feel it, but then Kolya got to his feet and then Kolya just jumped straight up in the air again using Sasha to break the fall. Sasha had to let go to break his own fall otherwise, he would been sandwiched. The weight of Kolya's body knocked the air out of Sasha and his head snapped back splitting open Sasha's lower lip, about 2 cm down towards his chin. Kolya rolled before Sasha could grab him again.
They both gained their feet and Sasha kicked Kolya like Leonidas kicking a Persian diplomat into a bottomless pit. Kolya tripped over a small table with a lamp on it, rolling over the lamp, destroying it and the table. A small shard of wood was sticking out of his back which he had to pull out, and then as he came up he only made it to one knee before Sasha tried to kick his head off. Kolya cupped his hands and caught Sasha's kicking ankle and pulled with the direction of Sasha's momentum. As Sasha flew by he managed to spin and kick Kolya square on the nose with his other foot, and Kolya's nose erupted into a thick blood flow down out his nostrils. Sasha crashed into his sofa and Kolya jumped to pin him. Sasha rolled out of the way and as he was rolling to his feet Kolya charged and Sasha managed to hip throw Kolya; Kolya's feet scraped the ceiling and arched right through Sasha's ceilling fan destroy it and the light bulbs. Kolya landed with an "oof" and the wind was knocked out of him. His exhaling was strong enough to spray some blood out of his mouth on to me staying 2 meters away looking for a chance to stop the fight.
As Sasha was going for the pin I jumped in front of him and shouted, "Enough!" Kolya was at his feet again. Both were bloody, breathing heavy, and surrounded by broken furniture and shattered light bulbs. "I think The Girl is right," Sasha said. Kolya nodded. "Fair enough."
I could hear them trying to pin each other to the floor (usually with a forearm across the throat) when suddenly a train slammed into the back of the chair, throwing me onto the floor, centimeters from going through the infamous television. I managed to get upright and while sitting I heard vicious growling and name calling, as the chair jostled, as they grappled with each other. Then suddenly Kolya popped up to his feet and Sasha was wrapped around his back; his arms had Kolya in an effective sleeper hold and his legs wrapped around Kolya's hips and thighs. Kolya stepped backwards tripping over the chair using Sasha to break his fall but they just rolled and Sasha maintained the sleeper hold. Kolya's face was turning blue.
"Stop it!" I shouted and ran over to them and started to pummel Sasha's forearms but he probably did not feel it, but then Kolya got to his feet and then Kolya just jumped straight up in the air again using Sasha to break the fall. Sasha had to let go to break his own fall otherwise, he would been sandwiched. The weight of Kolya's body knocked the air out of Sasha and his head snapped back splitting open Sasha's lower lip, about 2 cm down towards his chin. Kolya rolled before Sasha could grab him again.
They both gained their feet and Sasha kicked Kolya like Leonidas kicking a Persian diplomat into a bottomless pit. Kolya tripped over a small table with a lamp on it, rolling over the lamp, destroying it and the table. A small shard of wood was sticking out of his back which he had to pull out, and then as he came up he only made it to one knee before Sasha tried to kick his head off. Kolya cupped his hands and caught Sasha's kicking ankle and pulled with the direction of Sasha's momentum. As Sasha flew by he managed to spin and kick Kolya square on the nose with his other foot, and Kolya's nose erupted into a thick blood flow down out his nostrils. Sasha crashed into his sofa and Kolya jumped to pin him. Sasha rolled out of the way and as he was rolling to his feet Kolya charged and Sasha managed to hip throw Kolya; Kolya's feet scraped the ceiling and arched right through Sasha's ceilling fan destroy it and the light bulbs. Kolya landed with an "oof" and the wind was knocked out of him. His exhaling was strong enough to spray some blood out of his mouth on to me staying 2 meters away looking for a chance to stop the fight.
As Sasha was going for the pin I jumped in front of him and shouted, "Enough!" Kolya was at his feet again. Both were bloody, breathing heavy, and surrounded by broken furniture and shattered light bulbs. "I think The Girl is right," Sasha said. Kolya nodded. "Fair enough."
