how yall are? ol scottys in a shitty mood.

nancy and is ol lady turn up missin overnite. i jus na foun outta bout it. skeeter tole me.

day car was foun on da side a northbound interstate 44 (towards st louis) but day wassen foun no how, not a trace of em. da key was still in da ignition an turned on but da car jus run outta gas. da driver seat was all da way to da front so i guess at means is ol lady was drivin. an da passenjer side door was locked so da polease thank maybe nancy wassen in da car widder an maybe she tryin ta escape from em when fowl play happened.

polease lookin fer em.

I hope you find 'em alright...

Be careful if you see him again. If something along the lines of what we deal with was involved there is a chance that it will not really be nancy.

I am not saying it is anything, it is just that if something such as an entity, demon, mind controller, or yes possibly necromancer is responsible for this than there is a chance that the person that looks like Nancy on the outside is not the same person on the inside.

I just was cautioning Scotty to not go straight up to him and smack Nancy upside the back of the head if he sees him any time soon.

we was don at da sandbar gitten ready fer some bbq when da shit hit da fan. ol scotty seen some shit but aint never seen no shit ike at bafore. as da sun sank bahind da verizon i started wid da fer as we waited fer skeeter ta git his dumass don to da sandbar an handle da bbqin.

but den dere was dis thang come a crashin thru da woods an it busted outta da treeline. it was dark nuff at we coodden really say what da fuck it was. but it roared ike a lion and leaped ike on too and punched right thru slims chest i saw da fist come out da backa slim. as wuddever it was pull it arm outta slim i go fer ma ginny but already leaped and swatted noobs ol ladys head clean off her shoulders.

'mafucker' i hollered as i blasted it wid ma ginny an i hit it in da shoulder an it spun round. 'git bahind me maude' i hollered as i blasted again. it stumbled backwards from the blast at hit it square in da chest. i popped open ol ginny and slid in two more shells at i took from ma pocket. i stepped forward an i put two blasts in da fuckers face. it already stumbled backwards inta da river when i realized at i just shot nancy four times wid ma ginny. 'mafucker' i said to maself as he fell inta da river. nancy never learned how ta swim. when he was jus a whippersnapper he almost drownt so he never got back inta da swimmin pool after at.

he was screamin like ya jus slapped a para vice grips on is nuts as da current carry em down da river an in a few seconds he stopped screamin. drownt i reckon. i will be lookin fer his mafuckin body i garan-fuckin-t at.

'scotty help me' i heard maude yell from bahind me an i spun round an run up ta her reloadin ma ginny as i realize some mafucker in a baseball cap is grabbin ma ol lady.

'letter go mafucker' i hollered as i took may ginny by da barrel in ma left hand and drew ma .45 pistol wid ma right hand. he didden let er go so i doubled tapped da fucker in da chest. he stumbled a bit an he grabbed maude on is way down to da groun. i turned ta noob who was still all in shock and i hollered at em 'git yer gun lets keell dese sumbichs' as i saw da forest was crawlin with fellers fixin to keell us.

'git ta ma mafuckin pickem up truck' i hollered at noob as he join da fat. we blasted our way up da hill through these mafuckers an den we reached ma pickem up truck. 'git in' i hollered an i slammed da accelerator thru da floor board an den we were off.

we in eureka na holed up in a hotel. noob is a man on fer. we gonna head back don to ma cabin where i got me some bigger guns. we gonna fuck some shit up eww wee.

'scotty what are you fixin ta do' maude asked me.

i look at her rite in her eye - one of em off a little - an i tell her serious as a heart attack 'ima fixin ta kill skeeter'

'scotty no' she protested me ged dammit.

'maude i wancha ta stay here. noob ya wid me er not mafucker' i asked em.

'im widdya scotty ya know at.'

'good boy lets git it dun ait'

'ait'

'noob no noob tawk sum cents in em wouldya' she tried ta git noob ta change ma mind.

'maude trust me i know at skeeters bahind it all. he never wen ta da lake' mafucker claimed he go to da lake m-w but i saw em at da fillin station when i was on ma way ta buy sum kodiak. i didden say nuthin i always knew doe i coulden trust at mafucker no further dan i could throw is ass.

neeways ol maude she tried ta stop me fisically but i toled er at she keep da american xpress card cos i never leave home widdout it an buy anythang she needs ta stay comfy while noob an i go take care of skeeter an his tweakin mafuckers.

i typin dis rite na from da lobby of the hotel. we leavin rite na doe to burn dose mafuckers down.

Something tells me central Missouri is about to erupt.

eeap how yall are?

eww wee finally gittin ta rest a bit after all at killin and slaughterin.

well kolya listen up you sumbich cos imma only sayin is one time.

turns out at al noob shoots fire outta his hands and maude can see shit aint no one else seein. we was talkin bout skeeter how we caint trust im and she fuckin pulls shit outta her ass bout me seein im at da filling station and whatten. i aint toled er bout at yet so no how she knew, and en she starts squealin like ned beatty an imma tryin ta drive and noob is still fucked up from seein is old lady lose her head ike at altho 2 tours in iraq meant he handle it pretty good. fuckin marine jarhead leatherneck mafucker.

neeways ol maude just in a tizzy an imma tryin ta calm er down. eeeeeeap well the long in da short of it is at all skeeter wassen bbqin no porkers. some of does missin folks noob an i keelt sho nuff but some of them we was eaten don on da sandbar fer the last few months, mostly da ones at idden make da news.

"new bbq sauce skeeter?"

"yeap tryin sumthin diffrunt ya know."

mafucker eww wee.

If I read that right, I think will be sick now.

Beyond Dead and gone, I am not sure I want to know.

So Scotty, maude and noob ate the remains of the zombies???

I hope not.

So Scotty, maude and noob ate the remains of the zombies???

YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That kind of image will NOT scrub itself away for a LOOOOOOONG time.

I don't think you look that unattractive that you turning yellow would traumatise small children. So, I'll go with door number one on that.

You know, I could make a REEEEEEEALY inappropriate and all-around wrong comment, but I'm keeping my thoughts to myself.