Ever since whatever the shadow thing was that they were trying to put into Mr. Holister tangled with me (I have no idea how it got past my mental defenses to do teh deed, nor how it did so so quickly) I have been experiencing a bit of disorientation. I have always had a near perfect memory, normally a blessing, but a bit of a curse at the moment. Whatever the thing was, before it escaped, it tried to turn my mind against me. All of my worst memories brought cascading back to the fore. For most this would not be a problem, but my memory has always been, vivid across all spectrums.(When I remember spring at the temple I can see each cherry blossom as it falls, a single flake of pink snowfall; I can smell the fragrance of the grove, cherry blosoms punctuated by the pungent scent of freshly turned well fertalized soil drifting up from our feet; I can feel the warmth of the sun, the penetrating warmth of Amaterasu's love for us all relaxing away all worries; the sounds of spring, a few crickets, the rustleing wings of the orioles in the branches, the quiet footfalls of my fellow students as we manuever to try to gain the advantage in one of our games, the blacksmith in the village below working his bellows; the sharp coppery taste of blood in my mouth where I had protected my head too slowly.) Currently however, unless I keep my focus sharp, my darkest hours (and they are many) are coming to me unbidden, a re-living of my most painful moments. I would seek professional help, but no doctor that I am aware of would belive any of it, and although they are generaly peaceful places, the drugs they use in institutions do unpleasant things to ones awareness.
Perhaps one of you tied to a larger organization that deals with oddities of which the public is unaware, could reccomend an "open minded" doctor of mental health?
Oh, and as long as I am actively working on something, and focused on that task I seem to be fine, it is just in those moments between tasks, or when my focus is broken that I feel my affliction.
I don't know why the thing included memories of my wife, my son, and myself, living in Nagasaki in the mix, they are a comfort to me in this troubled time.
In need of assistance (perhaps professional)
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Shang Li
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In need of assistance (perhaps professional)
Understanding, is not a thing that comes swiftly, but rather in stages, a journey that once begun, must be seen to it's end.
If you'd like, Li-sensei, I can try to put you under hypnosis, and help you to stop remembering those times, until you try to remember them, yourself. It would be a suggestion to your mind to stop re-living memories you don't want to re-live, at times you don't want to re-live them...
I am not A bitch...I am THE bitch. And to you, I'm MS Bitch.
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Shadowstalker
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Perhaps MasterLi, it is simply time for you to come to terms with these memories. The good and the bad. We can not rewrite the past, but we can learn from our mistakes, and take solice in our more fonder moments. We can not escape our pasts Master Li, no manner of drugs, magic, and hypnosis can take that away. The emotion may be gone, but those imprints are there to stay.
Sometimes it is good to reflect, to feel the joy with the good, and at others we must feel remorse for the bad.
We still move on. It is what we do. If you ever just want someone to talk too Master Li, Im no shrink and psychic, but I am a good listener, and I like tea.
Sometimes it is good to reflect, to feel the joy with the good, and at others we must feel remorse for the bad.
We still move on. It is what we do. If you ever just want someone to talk too Master Li, Im no shrink and psychic, but I am a good listener, and I like tea.
"Too serve and protect", somethin' bout that gets a lil' blurred when dealin' with the supernatural.
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Shang Li
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- Location: Nowhere, Everywhere, I am unsure how to explain it
I have come to grips with them Mr. Holister, however due to teh way I was trained to recall details when they come spinning through it can be difficult to tell teh difference between an acurate memory, and the present. I am still alive, and have had those memories available for quite a while now. Think abot the possible ramifications, however of more recent memories invading my thoughts, ones that match my current environment. (If I was in a city you patrolled would you want me to remember having to take on a cult?) Near perfect recall with well honed reflexes could be disasterous, and I don't feel like taking responsibility for yet another set of lives over an accident.
Understanding, is not a thing that comes swiftly, but rather in stages, a journey that once begun, must be seen to it's end.
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Shadowstalker
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- Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2005 11:46 pm
- Location: Where needed
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Shadowstalker
- Posts: 2793
- Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2005 11:46 pm
- Location: Where needed
