Greetings and the blessing of Allah upon you all,

I am Professor Ali Ufuk, Ph. D.. I currently reside in Camden, Ohio. I teach history at Camden College, particularly the history of the Middle East. I am particularly well known for my work with difficult translations of obscure languages and dialects. I doubt that particular area of expertise will be useful to anyone here, but one never knows these things for certain. If you have any questions about Assyrians or Lawerance of Arabia, please ask.

Recent events over the last year's time have changed my perspective on a great many things. I understood monsters to wear Soviet uniforms, as they did in my childhood memories. My shift in perspective began about a year ago when I started experiencing reoccurring nightmares about a creature. It was one of my fellow instructors in the history department who thought that my dreams might be something more significant. He noticed that a sketch I had made matched the description of a creature described in the newspaper, recently seen by children in the nearby woods. My friend took me and a troublesome student into the woods that night where we did in fact encounter the beast and more besides.

I'm not certain about how much information I should share here. For now, I will choose the path of humility.

The end result is that I have learned that my dreams and translation talent were just the beginning of much greater thing. My friend concluded that I was a psychic. Well, that is his term. In my homeland, the term mystic would be apt. My full abilities, it seems, had been restricted due to certain chemical imbalances in my body before these events.

I mentioned this all to my old friend, Scotty. He recommended that I share these experiences here with the Lazlo Society. He said that the people here could help me make sense of what has happened, and perhaps that in the telling, I would find something that I didn't realize that I knew.

Welcome. I am new to all this stuff also. I don't have any special abilities, or anything like that, and two of my three experiences have left me in a bad way.

I figure you have a leg up on me, but I am learning.

Yes, I suppose that my super powers and superior education might be intimidating to you. May the blessings of heaven shine down upon anyway.

Mister Smith, what brought you here?

Languages.
Natasha is into languages.
I think her friend is, too. Galina or something.
But they're russkies which might be a problem for you.

Super powers? Sounds very X-man! I don't have anything like that. I get beat up, burnt, and surprised just like everyone else.

I also have a bit of an education. You might be surprised to find out that most likely, I am better educated than you!

My famility was a bunch of mystics going way back, but I didnt want non of that. I was all aobut sicence and mediucine. I wanted to be a doctort and I was good 2. I got scholarship in egypto.

My educatin is from egypt I worked thur medical scholl fightin fires while you drank American beeer in you college frat party dorms like Remy. That boy cna drink like nobdy I seeen

I earned my docturral in Cairoo0 Did I ever work in a shospital? No not me no sir.. I was put to work piecing back to gether boys in the dirt who got blown iup by the dum Sociviets. Those Soviets bombers tore up those bodys I tell you sir. It waSN'T no worse than what I saw in the fires in Cairoo though. I was a firefighting in shcool.

This Americana beer aint' no gooopod. I was a fire fighter in shcool and now i teach it to american beer kids. and history tow

lol - thats nice. Too bad I am canadian. And american beer is too much like sex in a canoe. If you want to get technical, then please call me Dr. I do hold a Doctorate in Engineering. I also have a B. Sc, and an associates degree in Comp. Sci.

This is not meant to be a pissing match. I have never gone to war, or want to. You might want to get a little therapy going on your PTS however.

I would like to apologize Doctor Smith. I was not feeling well when I wrote that last post. No offense was intended.

Recent events have been very troubling to me. It would seem that I allowed the stress of my situation to get the better of me. Losing a fight with a monster can have that effect, but I will not be making excuses for myself. I will hold myself to a higher standard in the future.

I find bigger guns comforting! And just call me Joe. Everyone else does.

ew we sure was good ta hear from ya 'gain. hopin' ya ken git yer ass cleaned up a lil bit while er at it.

Thank you very much for the support, my new friends.

Thank you especially to my old friend, Scotty. If it were not for you, I would not have made it out of Asia alive. Will you be joining me to celebrate Eid al-Ghadeer this year?

Natasha, Joe and skeptic, you are welcome to us as well.

What is Eid al-Ghadeer? We already had our thanksgiving in October.

Professor, how is that translation coming?

Eid al-Ghadeer is a feasting holiday, similar to American Thanksgiving, I suppose. It happens roughly the end of the first week of December. I think that this year it is December 8th. The holiday commemorates the last sermon delivered by the Prophet. Like Ramadan, some non-Islamics use it as an excuse for drinking. Come to think of it, some Islamics use it as an excuse for drinking.

eap we defnitely gotta hook up ali. gimme a call and we ken hammer out da details.

oh and hi hannah. staying outta truble?

sure you ken have fun widdout truble. jus use yer magination a liddle.

You guys sound like you had some serious fun...

I need to travel more I think. I have never been outside of north american.
Not a lot is going on here in Toronto. I have heard rumblings of trouble from a student of a friend however. I am going to a little town called El Dorado here in ontario to investigate a little and test my scanner.

Its a ghost town pretty much, heavy on the ghosts!

El dorado was a interesting little town, but the only spirits there were at the local bar as far as I can tell.

The local "Paranormal Society" brought a "psychic" who was telling stories the entire time we were there about the local spirits and ghosts she was "in contact with". My detector only blipped once the entire time and the Archanist I was with didn't detect anything with the stuff he does.

I don't pretend to know any of that magic stuff he does, but the detector does actually pick something up when he mumbles and waves his arms around.

My bullshit meter pegs, too.

Yeah...anything run by a couple of people who do "media releases" of everything they do tends to be bullshit. They seem to idolize that paranormal state show.

But they are entertaining. I might go with them again, since its a nice social night out from the shop.

I told you before Joe, if you want to see the world, join the army. It's when you get tired of seeing the world that things get intersting.

Took me a couple of days to finaly track this place down after you mentioned it last time, but here I am. How can I help?

Fi.

Well, for many job interviews I was told you are who you know. At this point I don't bother with the job interviews anymore, but its kind of becomes a way of life.

Fi

You don't actualy expect me to answer that do you?

Think for a second about anyone who you might term a "contact" and how likely you are to protect that source of information, or services, or, oh, I don't know, silver ammunition. How likely are you to actualy tell anyone about him, her or it.

Besides, how am I to run a business if you know everyone I would call up for a favor.

However, if you need to find someone or something, I can usualy get you started in the right direction.

Fi