Pest Control

[Grace]

Are you having vermin or pest problems?

Being harrassed by creatures a little more than the local animal control can handle?

Do you need a proffesional troubleshooter or problem solver?

Or do you just want some good old fashioned, rightieous pay back?

Then contact me. Whatever your problem, I have just the right caliber of solution.

Contracts begin at 20k.
All payment up front.
I do accept cancellations,
but do not offer refunds.
No pro-bono work.
Serious inquiries only.
Descrition garunteed

[Logan]

Ahhh, a professional monster hunter. Make sure you use a lot of discretion when you hunt, too many civies report you and you'll have a few problems.

[Grace]

Yeah, I'm a professional hunter all right.

And don't worry, I make every effort at discreation. Being ID'ed by civvies can usually mean the end of one's career if not life.

[Omen]

Is this guy for real?

Last I checked, most world-class governments do not recognize "Monster-hunter" as a legitimate occupation, so this screams either corporate, very very private sector, or ... the Vatican.

[Grace]

Is this guy for real?

Last I checked, most world-class governments do not recognize "Monster-hunter" as a legitimate occupation, so this screams either corporate, very very private sector, or ... the Vatican.

What a boat load of assumptions you make, Omen.

Just to make it all clear, I am for real. Here's how it works.

You have a problem.
You pay me.
I make the problem go away.

There's no government involvement. There's no corporate involvement. Heck, even the Vatican (WTF?) isn't involved. It's just the client, a numbered bank account and myself.

I hope this clears things up for you Omen.

[Logan]

Omen, Actually, I know of at least one world class government that keeps track of ~60 independant freelance hunters for hire, ~500 independant amature freelance hunters, 130 corp. troubleshooters, and ~5,000 "persons of interest".

[Omen]

Right, but as I said, they don't recognize "Monster Hunter" as a legitimate occupation, and barely recognize Paranormal Investigators or Parapsychologist as a legit occupation.



And Nemesis, just because the Catholic Church is less vocal about hunting down things of a supernatural nature does -not- mean that they aren't still doing it. They're just a bit more discreet about it now. Doesn't mean you have to believe their religious outlooks to get the training and the backing.

[Grace]

Omen,

Whether the Church is into the business of hunting anything isn't something I got any information about. But the whole ominous "...or the Vatican." at the end of your statement really sort of came out of left field. But then, from where I'm standing most of what you said did.

Maybe I'm new at this game and I don't know who all the players are. Maybe I'm a tad niave just because I ain't never come across priests in my line of work before. Heck, I ain't seen many things I can't explain. But thinking about men of the cloth running around toting weapons and acting all 'monster slaying mercenary for sale' still makes me go, WTF.

'Course, I'm not ever going to look a nun the same way now. I mean, they could be packing some serious heat under them robes...

Excuse me, I have to make a trip to a costume store.

[Natasha]

Pest control is one thing. Pay back is another. We need all the hunters we can get. But we don't need more monsters than we already have. I'd recommend some serious introspection about where you are in your life and what it means to participate here at The Lazlo Society. It seems you have much to offer us, but it seems you have some sorting out to do first.

[Grace]

Natasha wrote:

Pest control is one thing. Pay back is another.

But both can be bought.

If you need all the hunters you can get, then you should be willing to pay for it. Someone's going to be willing to pay. There always is.

And that's just it, really. Just look at these boards. I've seen one fool run around killing people with 2X4's and then there's the crusader who wants to purify the earth or something. You ask me what my place on these boards is? Frankly, I think I've found the place that I belong.

If you got too many monsters running around here, maybe it's you people who need to do some soul searching.

And if you need to do some house cleaning, then I'd be more than happy to help.

For a price, of course.

[Natasha]

Lots of things can be bought. That doesn't really mean much. And by "here" I meant Earth.

[Grace]

Natasha wrote:

Lots of things can be bought. That doesn't really mean much.

It's all that has any meaning to me. What is the value of something? Every life has value. It's just that some are worth more than others.

[Natasha]

Natasha wrote:

Lots of things can be bought. That doesn't really mean much.

It's all that has any meaning to me. What is the value of something? Every life has value. It's just that some are worth more than others.

Then I guess time will tell if you actually fill a niche here.

[Outlaw]

Okay. I take a leave to get my head straight and my ass out of the legal sling and come back to mercs? Hell I must have been way out of the loop, I didn't think old man Lazlo would have wanted this on the boards. At least not so openly.

I noticed another jackass in a different thread, is this Doe jack wad for real?

Outlaw

[Grace]

Outlaw wrote:

Okay. I take a leave to get my head straight and my ass out of the legal sling and come back to mercs? Hell I must have been way out of the loop, I didn't think old man Lazlo would have wanted this on the boards. At least not so openly.

Complaints about an alleged mercenary from someone calling themselves 'Outlaw'.

Now that's rich.

You know what the great thing about invoking a dead man's names is? They're not around to nay say you. Oh, I'm sure 'Old Man Lazlo' wouldn't like me one bit. But you seem awfully certain he'd approve of you, 'Outlaw'.

So if these boards are attracting undesireables, then maybe it's time for some introspection to see why that is. Take a real close look at the activities that go on here. Start examining the names of the various posters. See what it is that they're talking about.

Seems to me that you people are fighting a war. There ain't never been a war that didn't attract mercenaries.

Would Victor Lazlo have tried to avoid that war?
Would Victor Lazlo fight that war?
Would Victor Lazlo try to tell us that war was already on?

Cause that's what I've been reading.

You tell me.

What Would Victor Lazlo do?

[Outlaw]

Well at least my run in with the law was not because I kill people for pay. I didn't bad mouth you buddy, just expressed my surprise. I will never say that you shouldn't do what you do, lord knows I have had a few people I might have hired some one to get rid of.

I just think you need to be more careful with posting such contract offers on the world wide web. I know we have goverment types who watch this forum. Hell I know my old P.O was checking into this site, and this was before I came to the boards, that's how I found the site.

Outlaw

[Grace]

Miss Dawes is quite correct (hopefully she doesn't feel dirty for me agreeing with her). You reap what you sow.

A place of learning this ain't. There is some exchange of ideas but there is far more discussion of violence and killing here then anything, it seems. If the violence wasn't so blatant and commonplace then I would only ever have lurked here, maybe asking mission specific questions.

This site is a resource and it is being used. What kind of resource and who uses it is up to you.

Mr. Outlaw, perhaps I overreacted to your comments. If you got no beef with me, then I don't have any with you.

And sure there are government types here. I'm discussing employment details and options with some of them. The only thing you gotta be careful of is to get paid up front. That, and don't give them anything useful that they can use against you later.

[Natasha]

Read some of Lazlo's writings. We can have a discussion.

[Grace]

Natasha,

I think you just wanna keep me too busy to work.

[Natasha]

Natasha,

I think you just wanna keep me too busy to work.

Wrong.

I want you to understand what you may one day face. I heard some radio transmissions of guys not realising what they fighting against and getting zapped as a result.

More importantly I want you to understand why we're here in the first place.

[Grace]

Alright, fair dues and all that.

But we should take it to another thread, maybe in community outreach. You wanna open it or shall I?

[Natasha]

The choice is yours.

[Grace]

Well, I'm the noob so feel free to get things started. Perhaps you should start with what the vision of the man who started this place really was?

I'm only just started his books so I'll assume you're not pulling my leg for the sake of argument.

[Ron Caliburn]

Would Victor Lazlo have tried to avoid that war?
Would Victor Lazlo fight that war?
Would Victor Lazlo try to tell us that war was already on?

Cause that's what I've been reading.

You tell me.

What Would Victor Lazlo do?

Lazlo tried to let people know this war was coming. He tried to prepare people for that war. I strongly suspect that if he hadn't disappeared (perhaps at the hands of those who we are at war with) he would have been involved in fighting the war too.

The Lazlo Agency, founded by those who knew him personally, acts on a lot of the information we put on here. They are fighting this war on a daily basis.

Yeah the guy was a scientist and a teacher, but he was a man of substance as well as vision.

[Clarity]

_____Hi, Mr. Nemesis.
_____I thought you posted here because you were told to? I like to exchange ideas. Maybe if we started talking about other people in the world instead of our own problems, we would stop talking about violence?

[Grace]

Yes Miss Grace,

I was told to come here.

I've stuck around because I smell money to be made.

And I was right. I've been contacted for a job. So I may be too busy to post very much for the next few days or so.

[dym]

Are you having vermin or pest problems?

Being harrassed by creatures a little more than the local animal control can handle?

Do you need a proffesional troubleshooter or problem solver?

Or do you just want some good old fashioned, rightieous pay back?

Then contact me. Whatever your problem, I have just the right caliber of solution.

Contracts begin at 20k.
All payment up front.
I do accept cancellations,
but do not offer refunds.
No pro-bono work.
Serious inquiries only.
Descrition garunteed

I've got $100k right here. Five jobs. When you're free, let's deal. I've been waiting for somebody like you!

[Grace]

I'm not surprised that there are those here who could use my services.

Just a reminder, 20k is where the jobs start at. PM me or contact me at [email protected] to discuss details.

I'm on a job now, so it may be a short while before I get to you.

[Technocrat]

Don't mess with this one Nemesis.

He's one of the one's Ron Caliburn said would try to mess with you. Just check out his profile and follow some of his threads. A pattern quickly emerges.

I'll bet you dollars to donuts that those five hits are all people on this board. Even if you live to collect, and even if he pays you, you'll always be looking over your shoulder after this.

I'd rather lurk here and have for some time but this just stinks. It stinks so bad, I just had to say something.

Just walk away, that's all I'm saying.

You think you being here is a set up? You here that springing sound in the background, because I do!

Don't do it!

[Ron Caliburn]

Technocrat's spot on with this one.

Even if dym isn't going to doublecross you, I can all but garuntee that in those 5 hits you'll be after someone that gets the rest of us after you.