The Calling

Jeremiah Dark · Post by **Jeremiah Dark** » Thu May 10, 2007 1:57 pm

"This here is a message to all my dark hearted and wicked brethern. To those who have evil on their minds and darkness in the hearts.

For far too long these Lazlites have diminished your legions, and quelled your uprisings. How many of your own best laid plans have been crushed beneath their rightous indignation. Far too many.

Now I come to you, with a solution the help put these "defenders of the innocent" in there right place. We must UNITE!

The only true strength these Lazlites have is their team work, their comradery. They band together in times of need, and are strongest when they act as one.

Certainly we have picked off stragglers here and there, slowly deminishing their numbers over the years, but there is always another fool ready to pick up the Lazlo Torch and march headlong into the mouth of madness.

Alas, we should do the same. We should band together, pull our resources, and show these fools what real evil can do when unleashed in full force.
How long would their flickering candle remain lit in the hurricane we could bring down upon their timid shores.

Each of you who stands alone, is inevitably defeated. We should learn from the likes of Khavik and The Nightmare. Each time they united, their numbers dwindled. Look at the death of that vampiric whore Darken. That was priceless, especially when that so called hunter kissed her sweet dead lips just before he plunged the stake into her heart.

We need to combine our forces, alone we will only find defeat once and over, again and again. Together, we can take these frauds of humanity protecorate down like a house of cards.

Consider this option my brethern. This is war."

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Thu May 10, 2007 2:01 pm

*Listens to the chirping of crickets and the dropping of pins*

Ron Caliburn · Post by **Ron Caliburn** » Thu May 10, 2007 2:07 pm

1 question Dark, 1 question that will destroy your whole plan.

Who's in charge?

GhostSpider · Post by **GhostSpider** » Thu May 10, 2007 2:21 pm

*yawns*

The Dark Voice · Post by **The Dark Voice** » Thu May 10, 2007 2:34 pm

Who says that any of us has to be in charge. Something like what you fools have here could work just fine.

I am quite interested in your offer Jeremiah, as is my master.

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Thu May 10, 2007 2:44 pm

Yeah. But we all work towards one common goal.

You fuckers have so many convoluted plots you're bound to lunge at eachother's throats eventually.

The Dark Voice · Post by **The Dark Voice** » Thu May 10, 2007 2:49 pm

Perhaps, but who says we wouldn't have at least one common goal:the annihilation of the Lazlo Society.

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Thu May 10, 2007 2:52 pm

Its never gonna work.

And here I was actually worried for a moment.

Kei Nakamura · Post by **Kei Nakamura** » Thu May 10, 2007 2:56 pm

I actually hope it does work, maybe we could open up an entire new forum for them here.

Think about how nice it would be to be able to have all the vermin in the same web.

Koralth · Post by **Koralth** » Thu May 10, 2007 4:11 pm

Yeah, yeah, you're a regular MLK wannabe. Frankly, I'm with Bert and Ron. I don't think it'll last long... Now, get your ass out in the open where I can shoot you.

A. Pendragon · Post by **A. Pendragon** » Thu May 10, 2007 4:56 pm

Get your own message board to talk with your evil gay friends. you are not wanted here.

dym · Post by **dym** » Thu May 10, 2007 4:56 pm

Kei and her webs.

The Dark Voice · Post by **The Dark Voice** » Thu May 10, 2007 5:38 pm

Yes, she does seem quite enchanted with them.

Koralth · Post by **Koralth** » Thu May 10, 2007 5:39 pm

Just like you seem enchanted with your master. You're one to talk.

The Dark Voice · Post by **The Dark Voice** » Thu May 10, 2007 5:45 pm

Your right, I am.

The difference is that I worship my master and rightly so.

A. Pendragon · Post by **A. Pendragon** » Thu May 10, 2007 6:19 pm

The Dark Voice wrote:Your right, I am.

The difference is that I worship my master and rightly so.

You are your masters little bitch. And as a bitch, you WILL be put down.

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Thu May 10, 2007 6:20 pm

Before or after we turn Duke loose on her? :lol:

The Dark Voice · Post by **The Dark Voice** » Thu May 10, 2007 6:28 pm

You are your masters little bitch. And as a bitch, you WILL be put down.

Perhaps, but not before my master has achieved freedom.

Before or after we turn Duke loose on him?

Do that and i'll return the mutt as a rug.

Ron Caliburn · Post by **Ron Caliburn** » Fri May 11, 2007 2:19 am

The Dark Voice wrote:Perhaps, but just in time to prevent my master's freedom.

...

Do that and the mutt will turn me to a stain on the rug.

Fixed that for ya

KonThaak · Post by **KonThaak** » Fri May 11, 2007 3:19 am

Comradery? Teamwork? Excuse me while I go laugh my fuckin' ass off.

These dolts handle teamwork about as well as zeppelins handle lighters. Once in a while they can pull it off, but their distinct lack of teamwork skills has nearly gotten a number of them killed, Josh included.

You geniuses will never get it into your skulls, will you? They will beat you because you're obsessed with being "evil". You wake up in the morning, have your Evil-O's, tune in to Pat Robertson for your daily inspiration, and wonder what you can do to be most evil today.

The other guys don't sit and think about what they can do to stop you from being evil. They don't try to be good. They just go out and do their shit, and because of that, you morons lose. And you will keep losing.

Over.

And over.

And over.

And you'll keep losing, because you're too goddamned stupid to know when you've been beat.

You've gotta be kidding me... Seriously, teamwork? These Lazlo idiots couldn't teamwork their way out of a paper bag, 6 days of the week. They don't know how to work together because they all work ALONE, all the fuckin' time.

On the few occasions they do get together, they make these plans, and stick to them like grease sticks to Teflon, and that nearly gets them killed...and yet, they somehow manage to succeed, in spite of themselves, 9 times out of 10. The few times they manage to do things right, work together well, and pull off the whole "teamwork" thing is the hideous exception to the overwhelming rule.

And yet, they still manage to kick your asses whenever they find you. I mean, seriously, bullfrog, you want to team up with a guy who was beat by some cop with some mental issues? How badly are you trying to hurt your cause, here?

Excuse me, while I go laugh myself into a stupor at the sheer idiocy of this entire insipid thread.

Koralth · Post by **Koralth** » Fri May 11, 2007 3:32 am

Gabe, thanks for that... really... I appreciate it.

Josh, I think your dog needs a leash.

KonThaak · Post by **KonThaak** » Fri May 11, 2007 3:55 am

Don't mistake my reasons for doing what I'm doing. I'm here for my own reasons. Whether or not you like me or what I have to say is irrelevant.

I call it as I see it, and since I'm not officially a member, I can afford to be brutally honest.

Your friend would do a helluvalot better behind some books than out in the field. He's more of a thinker than a doer. Anyone with half a frontal lobe could figure that one out.

But tell him that, and he's just going to go off and get himself killed while trying harder to be some badass fighter, of the variety he is most assuredly not.

Nevertheless, I give him full credit for going above and beyond what any man should have to. He's got guts. He just needs to realize he's no good to anyone dead.

And still, in spite of himself, he cleaned up at the vocalist's place. What was it he called the guy? Bass? Heh, clever. Deep, dark, brainless fish. Kudos to him for that, too, especially as it seems to be pretty damned appropriate.

Far be it for me to suggest underestimating this demon-god or whatever, but this Bellafux must have the brains of a goddamned sponge to pick out some asswipe like this as a spokesperson. He can't do a thing right, but he's ready to posture and say he's all that and a bag of evil chips.

And the bullfrog wants to join forces with the fish. I don't think I'll be able to get over that one for a while... Must be a physical attraction, 'cuz I seriously don't want to think of the bullfrog lusting after the bass's intelligence and wit.

Koralth · Post by **Koralth** » Fri May 11, 2007 4:28 am

hm... I think you're on to something there, Dark, but he never has liked being a desk jockey, even if that IS what he's good at. It's something we'll have to discuss when he's feeling a little better. Oh, and those flattering clarifications just took you off of my shitlist just as quickly as you were put on it. :wink:

The Dark Voice · Post by **The Dark Voice** » Fri May 11, 2007 10:46 pm

Poor, poor little echo. So confident in your power that you let it blind you. Perhaps if you chose to actually remove your blinders, than maybe your death will not be in vain.

Very funny Mr. Caliburn. Now I see why your daughter is the greatest threat in your house.

The Traveler King · Post by **The Traveler King** » Fri May 11, 2007 11:02 pm

The Dark Voice wrote:Your right, I am.

The difference is that I worship my master and rightly so.

What'd I tell you? You're a toady.

Ron Caliburn · Post by **Ron Caliburn** » Sat May 12, 2007 1:43 am

The Dark Voice wrote:Very funny Mr. Caliburn. Now I see why your daughter is the greatest threat in your house.

I woudnt know about that, though she does seem to have any of you too scared to get close. Those jokers at the hospital today weren't even worth the airfare to send them here.

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Sat May 12, 2007 2:59 am

Trouble at a hospital?

Oh! Speaking of which. can you get me a few, uhh, thousand rounds of Frangible rounds for use in situations where I want to minimize penetration (like in hostage situations or indoors in populated ares)?

Holister · Post by **Holister** » Sat May 12, 2007 5:43 pm

"Next month at my cabin in Miane, I will be having that BBQ in memory of our fallen, in honor of our soldier still fighting, and to spite those "villains" who think they have a snowball's chance in Hell of ever winning.

Simple equation; The good always wins out over the bad. We may take some hits, but we always come back swinging.

Guys like Voice, Jeremiah, and Dym may have sucker punched us when we weren't looking. But when we were able to see clearly through that big black eye, we will always lite up there world like the 4th of July!

I will post an exact date, but all Lazlo members and agents are invited. Its a weekend thing so come packed and ready. Consider this get together a Bert Lite.

Well, I have to be going, promised Molly a trip to
Graceland before heading home.
Later."

Bert_the_Turtle · Post by **Bert_the_Turtle** » Sat May 12, 2007 9:28 pm

Sounds great Ben. Want me to bring any food?

GhostSpider · Post by **GhostSpider** » Sat May 12, 2007 10:17 pm

Woohoo, kegger at Ben's place!!!! :lol:

Sorry Holister, got a little carried away there. Seriously though, can we bring food? I can whip up a mean potato salad.

Why are you calling it a Bert Lite?