Excellent. I hope you fuckholes got your helmets on. Let me break it down for you.

Hannah, I am going to assume that Natasha told you everything. If I so much as imagine that you have told anyone anything I will eat Natasha's mother fucking eyeballs. This is not a fairy tale or a joke or a game. Open your mouth and I eat her eyes. So keep that little hole closed. It is very good advice in general for you. I am pretty sure Pa is not ready to be GrandPa.

Which brings me to you, Nicolai Ivanovich. I am responsible for Natasha's arrest. I am going to offer you a deal. A trade to be exact. You give me the skank and I give you something that stops that shit from coming out your ears and nose. If you decline the deal, then you get to watch me shred your tribe into little bite-sized pieces. Give me the whore and live, or not, and you all die slow and painful.

Pa

Blow me.

Dym, Smoke, whatever your name is.... no deal.

Well it's Friday. Nothing really can happen until Monday anyway.

Maybe then you will understand just how tightly I got you by the balls Nicolai.

Have a nice trip.

And assholes are assholes the world over...

Alright, I know I need all my energy for this seal thing, but this guy's threatening my family... So far as I'm concerned, everyone here's my family.

And he's caught me on a cranky day, 'cuz I had to leave home again, when I swore to myself I was done with this adventuring shit.

One karma bomb, coming up...

May be a long term thing, but it's far more satisfying to sit back and watch an asshole like that get what they deserve than to do nothing...

Bomb's away.

I can hear it yelping already...

What the f**k! Oh come on.

Another one? Who the hell lets these guys in here?

I told you Kolya had enemies brewing. But why go after Natasha? And what is up with this guy and Hannah?

Kolya who the hell is this asshole? And someone give me one good reson I shouldn't turn him into paste for hurting Natasha, and threatening Hannah?

This is as good a time to clear the air as ever.

Its been something I've been meaning to do for awhile.

Back in my military career, we did a lot of things the United States Government wasn't supposed to do. Assassinations, Kidnappings, Torture. Setting traps and landmines was the easy part.

Back when I went to help The Legacy with the werewolf problem it turned out the problem was that the Sister had contracted lycanthropy. The brother found out and instead of making a quick, clean kill, tortured her to near death and kept her hovering there for around 5 weeks.

At that time, I'd almost been killed and/or mauled by werewolves on several occasions. They fucking love the NJ Pinebarrens. This was fucking sickening. She had enormous patches of fur missing, her teeth and fangs had fallen out, her body was covered in sores. Just, just thinking about it makes me want to wretch. As I approached where she was chained to the wall she could barely muster the strength to whimper and expose her throat to me so I could end her suffering. I patted her on the muzzle and put a .22 in her head. As I left the shack she was being tortured in, the implements were all silver plated and filled the tiny space, I ran into her brother.

The twisted fuck admitted to torturing his own sister to near death. The only reason she was alive was because she wasn't human anymore. That was the one and only time I've ever tortured a man, let alone to death. I've threatened to but never seriously. He only experienced a fraction of the pain he inflicted, and it made me feel like a monster to do it. Well, I felt like one afterwards anyway; I was numb from the point where I released the werewolf from her torment to when the explosions went off to erase the evidence.

No human court could have handled that case, and we tried to think of some way to bring him to the authorities, but without a corpse and with the blood being werewolf, the best we could've attempted was animal cruelty.

For at least five hours I kept him alive in excrutiating pain. I'll spare you the fine details. I put his death in the hands of a "Random" timer so he wouldn't know when it would come for that extra psychological bite.

Dym, if you so much as ruffle one hair on Natasha's or Hannah's head, I will find you, lock you in a dark corner of the world, and dedicate the rest of my life to making you wish for the release of death. And I will make sure that you do not die before I want you to.

Natasha is the least likely person to be giving away state secrets. This is as screwed up as anything I have seen.

Know that your life will be very short if you harm Natasha.

Agent Godhand

Ron, Bert, if you guys need help going to war with this fuck...I'm all in

There's only room for one government bully around here and I'm it dym.

Really, how charming! All the monkies are out thumping their chests all over the place. I have to tell you, it really does not bother me, but I think it might give Natasha a rash.

Welcome to the Hard Way, retards.

Just thought that you would like to know what is going to happen this weekend.

No one is real sure yet how she managed, but the guards found some contraband in Natasha's cell. Stuff she could use to make her wards. Whoopsy. So she has to go into The Hole. And anyone who knows Natasha knows how much she loves dark and confining spaces. It will be interesting to see how she copes. At least I won't be the one mopping up all the drool as they drag her catatonic ass out of there some time next month.

Furthermore, the cops did a bang up job checking out her apartment. Before they showed up though, she laid a giant magnet over her hard drive. Fine effort, but that won't stop the cops from getting copies of the messages she was sending anyway. I have them safe and sound.

The good news is that there was just feathers and padding material in her brand new mattress, pillows, sofa, and reclining chair those fucking numbnut teammates of hers bought for her birthday.

And that painting the dead Nip made for her really tied the room together, but, alas, the cops needed that to go over as well. They probably have to cut it into smaller managable pieces for analysis. Not that Slant Li is going to mind. After all, he's fucking dead. No one else really should mind either. The painting sucks. If I were Natasha, I would be insulted that ol Eggroll bothered.

Well, enough chatter for now. You all got lives to live. Except Nicolai Ivanovich, he needs to get busy dying.

Let me break it down for you Holister and the rest of you, too. What the hell? I am in a good mood today. And I am feeling generous.

Holister wrote:Another one? Who the hell lets these guys in here?

I think you are going to find that I am nothing like those other dumbfucks that come here looking to tangle with the Lazlo Society.

I got Nicolai Ivanovich by the balls and Natasha by the tits. I managed this in a couple of weeks, while some of you assmunches have been trying for months.

Holister wrote:I told you Kolya had enemies brewing. But why go after Natasha? And what is up with this guy and Hannah?

Hannah knows something very important. If she tells anyone, Natasha is going to hurt, and hurt a lot, and it is going to be all Hannah's fault.

But you heroic fucks are likely to kill Natasha long before Pa's little whore gets the chance to.

Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.

Oh, now you've done it. I'm going to make good on my threat dym and you'll see just how evil a good man can be.

Boom Boom Bert, just thought you would like to know.

You're killing her.

You said you were going to kill her anyway. Are you changing your story?

The only thing that changes is the time line.

Sooner or later. You get to decide. Keep running that cocksucking hole in your head and it will be far sooner than later.

As in tonight.

Fine. Fine. I need to go step into the maw of hell now anyway.

Yes, be a good little boy, and do as you are told.

I hope you find your way back. Wouldn't want you to miss anything.

Natasha was not a fan of the dark, but she is much stronger than you give her credit for.

Just so you know, I was not threatening you only letting you know to reality of your situation.

ok thanks Darkie.

Ok dym, or should I also call you smoke? You think you have a long reach huh, I do and whoever you are, whatever you are, you won't like it when I get ahold on you. You don't take Bert seriously, you should actually you know. I may just deliver you to him wrapped up like holiday Goose.
If that is not resonable, I will make you live up to your name. I to am a good man, but you hurt or threaten people I care about, well... I hope you are not so stupid as to not figure out what comes next. I do not make idle threats I make promises, and I am far from alone in that trait. So go fade back to whatever dark place you seeped out of, and you may yet not be destroyed.

If you continue one of these days you are going to be walking down the street when you are going to suddenly find bullet sized hole in you. No one will know how it got there because no one will have heard a gunshot, and that will be because there was none. When they investigate they will not be able to find any proof of a shooting other than the unexplained hole in you, because there will be no physical evidence to be found.

So take everyone's advice and let Natasha go.