HI EVERYBODY!

Its me Hit Squirrel and Im on the trail of The Hopfather's secret lair so I can thwart that bad bunny's evil plans.
So I have my friend Jasper here and he is going to tell you all about F.O.A.H. Ok Jasper you can tell them now.

Hello. I am Jasper. One of Hit Squirrels friends. THIS IS SO COOL! I am actually saying hi to a bunch of humans. Hi Humans. Well I am here to tell you about F.O.A.H. The Friends of Animals and Humans. We are a super secret group that protects innocent animals and people from evil monsters and bad guys. Right now there are only five of us if you include Cleo. The Great White Owl is also a part of the team but only when he is around. Hit Squirrel says we need more members so I am here to ask if Duke The Dog and Mr Fluffers The Cat want to join. Itchy also says that there is a turtle, a spider, a bear, and a dwarf that drive a brown truck who could also join. I guess. I don't think we need a spider though? Unless he can spin really strong webs and has knock venom. A turtle we can use. He'ld be like a tank. We could all climb inside of his shell andItchy could shoot seeds out of his holes. That would be cool. We're here. Got to go. Uh Oh! RATLINGS!

I'm not a real turtle. Sorry. If you guys want armor I can outfit you though.

I guess I am the bear she mentioned.

I just look a lot like a bear.

Depending upon who you ask, I act like one, too.

Good luck on your mission.

Well, I'm not a dwarf, but I wouldn't mind helping out as much as I can. ^_^ Just lemme know what I gotta do...

Given all the name confusion, I have to ask: what, robins aren't good enough for you?

Well, I don't know about webs, but I can certainly kick some ass. And it would be a new experience to be fighting beside the warriors of the woodland realm.

What you forgot me?

Umm, you talking to me Shadow??

Because I don't want to insult you, considering how you just saved my life and all.

No Ghost I am talking to H.S. and Jasper? I guess, and even then I was kind of kidding around a bit.

I am a bit incredulous of this thread, but would welcome a meeting with any animal that can speak, legends abound of them, and that is part and parcel of my reasearch. I have seen too many odd things to discount much of anything without investigation.

Seeing an Oni pause in the middle of ripping someone's arms of to bow to a priest has to be the oddest thing I have seen.

HI EVERYBODY!

Ok I want to introduce my team o F.O.A.H. agents. Ok they are really just my bestest friends that help me out but we do make a good team. Ok you know me already.

Hi Im The Hit Squirrel the super secret squirrel assassin who assassinates evil monsters and bad guys.

Ok you guys are next...I love the voice recognition stuff I borrowed from the chinese food guy with the fox.

Hello everyone. I am Jasper. We have met before. I am just a oppossum. Well I don't know exactly what I do but Itchy says I have good people skills and I do a great job at playing dead.

Ok next up is Rodney.

Yo whaz up! My name is Rodney and I am like a Raccoon. A really cool Raccoon. I like steall stuff and break into to places. I am like the team thief I think. There ain't new trash can, dumpster, or top secret lair I can't break into. Breaking out is another matter.

Thank you Rodney. I so love his little mask. Its really his face but i think it is just so cute. Ok Here we have Mongo.

Damn you you thieving bastard! I wanted brown. What gpoher in his right mind would have purple for a color. Oh pardon me, INDIGO! I feel so much better now. If I was not half the gentleman I would throttle you to an inch of your life. What do you mean this blasted human gizmo is on. Oh so it is. Hello then Itchy's fine human friends. I am Mongo and I am in charge of underground demolitions. I have ruined some of the best golf courses around. I also like blowing stuff up. I once burrowed through a gas line. Oh boy that was a blast. The fire burned for two days straight. I still have the singe marks.

Thank you Mongo. He is a littletesty since his wife left him for a younger Mole.

Next we have Whiskers my very good friend. Say hi whiskers.

HJhuisdyufweu849rtekhjifjkeutfjqltul

Oh thats right, I ran out of magic rings. Im sorry Whiskers. Wait a minute! I thought I gave you one yesterday. RODNEY?

Like what? I won it in a shell game. Fine, I'll give it back. Not my fault that mouse is so gullible.

Thank you Rodney. Rodney is a little obsessive when it comes to shiney things. I once caught him trying to steal a six foot gold statue. He tries so hard. It makes a nice addition to our patio though.
Ok Whiskers try again with the ring this time.

Hello. Im Whiskers The Mouse. I really like Itchy. She lets me hang around with her and stuff. We watch TV together and go for walks and even go to the fair for cotton candy and popcorn. She is my best friend. On the team I do all the re recog all the spy stuff because I can slip in and out unnoticed. My brother was a spy for The Underground. He lost his life to that evil alley cat CLAWS. I vowed to avenge his death.
So now I help Itchy.

Wow. That was touching Whiskers. One day we'll get that evil cat too. Ok who do we have left. Oh The Great White Owl. Do you want to say something.

Don't they have gray, or maybe silver. This is so embarassing. What do you want me to say to a bunch of humans."Hello, I am The Great White Owl; I used to be Merlin's familiar during the times of Camelot and travel the world ever since seeking champions to vanquish the wicked and defend the innocent!" There are you happy now Itchy. Oh my name. Merlin used to call me Silverfall The Wise. So please stop calling me The Great White Owl. I do have a name you know. Yes I suppose I am the sorcerer supreme of the group. My ancient knowledge of the mystic arts is vast and powerful. I am often called upon to bind the torn fabric of space and time. Not bad for an owl wouldn't you agree.


Thank you Greath White Owl, oh, I mean Silverfall The Wise. He gets very dramatic at times. But we love him anyway.
Well that is my team so far.
As you can tell we can use some more members. That is why I am asking for other heroic animals defenders of humanity to join our ranks and help us defeat the evil forces of darkness and evil and bad things that want to hurt good animals and people. Why do I feel as though I am forgetting somone? OH! I almsot forgot about Cleo. But she is out on date with some dragon she met in Chicago. Something about learning to be all the dragon she can be. They grow up so fast. Its ok though. She knows how to turn into a human too now. You would think that the humans would be used to a beautiful naked girl walking down the street by now? Well I have to go again. Rodney got us a really cool game called a WE or is is a WII or something. He said he got it for us because he likes us. How he got the money I don't know. But its fun to play.
Well Bye Bye for now.

Hit Squirrel can get a Wii but I can't find one! *grumbles*


Ahh well. Nice meeting you all!

Yo there Bert my man, Toys'R'Us is getting another shippment next week. How many you want?

Rodney you masked bandingo stop stealing stuff from that toy store! You are going to caught by the animal control game warden. AGAIN! This time I won't blow up his truck just to get you out.

How do you manage to carry those big heavy things you steal?

Trade secret my man, trade secret.

Trade secret my sweet patookie. You use that damn orange bag you found in New Orleans a few months back. Not that I do not appreciate all those explosives mind you, but you and your obsession with stealing is going to get us all thrown in the clink.

Man I am too good to get caught my home gopher.

Rodney you got caught just last week. Heck you even got your head stuck in the toliet drain because you saw a penny one of the workmen dropped in it.

Hah, have at you raccoon.

I thought it was a dubbloon or at least a dime. I can't help myself alright.

Its ok Rodney. We still love you. You just need to learn some self control or maybe a self help book. But can I have my magic ring that makes me human back. I saw you take like just two minutes ago.

A raccoon can't ever get a break.

YOU TOOK MY BAG OF EXPLOSIVES! GET BACK HERE YOU THIEVING VARMENT!

Oh god!!!

A raccoon has some of Bert's explosives.

HIT THE DIRT!!!

Oh, by the way, greetings F.O.A.H.

Let me know if there is anything I can help you with.

Either way it is worrisome.
H.S. if you and your team need help yell out ok.

Ron Caliburn wrote:I thought it was the gopher that had them.

No, no, no... you mold the plastique into the image of a squirrel and a rabbit to get the gopher... the gopher doesn't get you...

Or would Caddyshack fall into the same category as Muppets in the land of Ron?

Ohh, I wonder these poor animals will do with out their precious Itchy.

You, owl, have we not met before? I once spoke to Merlin, and he had an owl with him then. The unmitigated gall of that hedge-wizard, taking me to task for slaughtering one village. It's not like there was anyone important there.

But he is fun to ignore.

We need to keep him talking. As incompetent as he is, he's going to let something slip soon.

Go a lot faster if you ignore him.

At least it does with children.

yeah, they drop a useful line every once in a while.