American Dollars for return of artifact!

Notices, advisories, and questions answered by official Lazlo Agency staff.
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Dr-Akwetee
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2005 7:37 am
Location: Africa

American Dollars for return of artifact!

Post by Dr-Akwetee »

My name is Dr Kasinda Akwetee, proud spokesperson of The Movement for the Actualization of the Sovereign State of Luba. It will displease my superiors greatly that I have had to use such an indiscreet method in this matter, such as this to complete my assignment. Considering the despicable circumstances surrounding the removed artifact, my actions will be excoriated I am certain. This is a concise warning to any individual, grope, company or nation that has chosen to attack our lands and steal our priceless antiquities. All planed insurgences in to our territory will be brutally crushed by the Mbwiri death squads. All those involved will have there skin removed while they still live, and made to dance on a bed of vipers for 6 days and 7 nights before being dismembered and feasted upon by Mbwiri. I have been allocated a large sum of American dollars, for the payment of any informants with useful information on the whereabouts of both the artifact in question, and the person, or persons responsible for this appalling crime. I wish to keep this matter as civilized as possible, as I do not wish for unnecessary bloodshed. If the sacred Kifwebe is not returned I cannot be responsible for the outcome.
Joseph Darkhold
Posts: 133
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2005 8:22 pm
Location: California.

Post by Joseph Darkhold »

Do you have any other information for us to go on? If you want help then you will need to provide at least some of us with more information as to the artifacts in question and whatever information you might have on the thieves...
Last edited by Joseph Darkhold on Tue Aug 02, 2005 7:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Ex Ignorantia ad Sapientiam, e Luce ad Tenebras"
Ron Caliburn
Posts: 6915
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2005 7:09 pm
Location: Best if you don't know.

Post by Ron Caliburn »

Luba, wasn't that a Canadian pop artist from the 1980s?

Anyway, the talk of death squads, torture and canibalism leads me to think you guys probably didn't deserve to have this thingy.
Ain't nuthin' that can't die.

Delta Sierra
Dr-Akwetee
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2005 7:37 am
Location: Africa

Post by Dr-Akwetee »

It is not a question of who deserves the blessed mask, simply that it ours, and must be returned to us. To the untrained eye it is a simple kifwebe style carved wooden mask. For those gifted with the sight, it will be obviously powerful. I will stress this most strongly to any foolish arcane dabbler that sees fit to attempt to channel the energy of the kifwebe mask, do so at your peril. Only we have the correct rituals to safely utilize the mask. As for the bandits that stole the holy mask that is unknown to us. All I ask is for are some leads to some of the more dishonest individuals that frequent these parts. Any help will be greatly rewarded, and if cash is not your interest I am shore we can come to some other arrangement. As for the impertinent Mr Caliburn how dare you compare my grate tribe with some Canadian harlot. If you spent more time reading and studding instead of watching your MTV, you would know that the Luba are a vast tribe dwelling within the borders Democratic Republic of Congo. Watch your tone Mr Caliburn, as my tolerance for fools is as short as your time on this earth shall be if you continue to be an annoyance. As for Mr Darkhold your gracious and polite response is very welcome to me. Perhaps if you can help further we can start to do business.
Dr Kasinda Akwetee.
Lieutenant to the MASSL.
Luba Tribal Adviser.
Ron Caliburn
Posts: 6915
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2005 7:09 pm
Location: Best if you don't know.

Post by Ron Caliburn »

Another day another death threat.

Whatever the name of your tribe, if you be talkin' 'bout death squads and torture and canibalism, you don't deserve anything of power.
Ain't nuthin' that can't die.

Delta Sierra
Joseph Darkhold
Posts: 133
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2005 8:22 pm
Location: California.

Post by Joseph Darkhold »

I am afraid that I will not be of any help to you, sir. I refuse to have anything to do with those who traffic with demons, much less death squads.

And your threats towards Ron are out of line as well.

On the other hand I should thank you, I suppose, for informing us that this mask is at loose.
"Ex Ignorantia ad Sapientiam, e Luce ad Tenebras"
Shadowstalker
Posts: 2793
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2005 11:46 pm
Location: Where needed

Post by Shadowstalker »

Just a question this mask what is able to do in the right hands and what happens if some one who can't use it tries to use it? I get from your comments nothing good. Oh and why do you think it is here in the states? If the good Dr is unwilling to respond if someone eles is willing to supply some info I and others I think would perchance be grateful.
To find the darkness you have walk in the shadows.
Debunker
Posts: 159
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2005 8:56 am
Location: My Paranromal team is based in the U.K., but we travel world wide

Post by Debunker »

Wow, this is one of the biggest cries for help I've ever heard. But I'm glad the rest of the readers see the folly of this post for a change.

There's hope for you all yet, keep up the good work gang!
Elliott James Tobias III
AKA: Debunker


"The truth is indeed out there...science has been pointing it out for centuries."
Shadowstalker
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Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2005 11:46 pm
Location: Where needed

Post by Shadowstalker »

Debunker the questions are resonable and knowing the history and legends behind the item might give a idea into motive of why it was taken and if I belive or not is not the question but if someone else belives?
There may be nothing supernatural about the mask at all it's only power that of a symbol but you should know wars have started for less. By the way I do not seek the reward nor would I return the mask directly .I would arrange for it to go to the Smithsoneion and advise the Dr. to send other items to create a cultral exibit and leave it here for a time until safe retrurn is possible oh and also for him to use the reward money towards local I mean his Intr. relief funds. Just my thoughts maybe earn his country some Good P.R. In the intrem.
To find the darkness you have walk in the shadows.
Dr-Akwetee
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2005 7:37 am
Location: Africa

Post by Dr-Akwetee »

I have come to realize the folly off even bothering to post comments upon this forum. My precious time has been utterly wasted on such dubious frivolities. Although it is not my wish, I will be flying to US soil as of tomorrow evening. I will be intending to my employ extensive diplomatic weight to end this situation as quickly as possible. I am aware that falsehood is rife amongst some of the less honourable participants of this board. Information has been received by my agents about the movements of said participant. Be warned those who would try to hinder my path; I am not a merciful man.
Dr Kasinda Akwetee.
Lieutenant to the MASSL.
Luba Tribal Adviser.
The Traveler King
Posts: 250
Joined: Sun Mar 13, 2005 5:13 am

Post by The Traveler King »

The threat of violence, my good doctor, is very bad form and a very bad idea. North America is not Africa. The things going on backstage here are very different. I'll tell you what I told the last person who threatened a poster here. If you post here, I can get at you. There's a reason I'm called The Traveler King.
mrloucifer
Posts: 70
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 7:46 pm
Location: Travelling the Midwest... oh, and Seattle.

Post by mrloucifer »

Dr-Akwetee wrote:I have come to realize the folly off even bothering to post comments upon this forum. My precious time has been utterly wasted on such dubious frivolities. Although it is not my wish, I will be flying to US soil as of tomorrow evening. I will be intending to my employ extensive diplomatic weight to end this situation as quickly as possible. I am aware that falsehood is rife amongst some of the less honourable participants of this board. Information has been received by my agents about the movements of said participant. Be warned those who would try to hinder my path; I am not a merciful man.


Cripes mate! Don't be such a bloody tough guy! Give us a bit more to go on rather than thumping ya chest about it, I got gorilla's in the zoo if I need that rumpus.
adorabilly
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Location: Arabian Penisula
Contact:

Post by adorabilly »

Since I am stuck in the deepest china, and wierd things are happening around us, i want to know what this mask looks like, maybe it is causing my problems. There are several dealers in antiquities near here and they have "wonders from around the world" including african tribal masks, and even aztec items. If this thing can cause the problems we have been having, you can have it back. I have kids here, and I want these things gone, and done with.

I'd be willing to find it just to have it removed. What would I be looking for?

Dr-Akwetee wrote:I have come to realize the folly off even bothering to post comments upon this forum. My precious time has been utterly wasted on such dubious frivolities. Although it is not my wish, I will be flying to US soil as of tomorrow evening. I will be intending to my employ extensive diplomatic weight to end this situation as quickly as possible. I am aware that falsehood is rife amongst some of the less honourable participants of this board. Information has been received by my agents about the movements of said participant. Be warned those who would try to hinder my path; I am not a merciful man.
Do you really want to know what goes bump in the night?
Ammendment2
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Apr 16, 2005 12:15 pm
Location: Watching the watchers...

Post by Ammendment2 »

Mayhap the good doctor should study his english better, as he accused Ron of "studding insted of watching MTV". His posting kinda became a static rant after that. So, no more studding OR MTV Mr. Caliburn. Now as to the mask, the not-so-subtle anger here is not even that uncommon, some private goverment collector is probably pissed off and decided to pay money to get his "precious" back, and they always seem to want to kill said possessor, then wonder why no one raises there hand and says "oh, here it is". Yeesh, take a lesson in subtleness, or the whole "you attract more flies with honey than vinegar" approach. I for one stopped entertaining the idea of help after the whole "death squad" theme started.....
Good? Bad? I'm the one with the gun.....
The Traveler King
Posts: 250
Joined: Sun Mar 13, 2005 5:13 am

Post by The Traveler King »

Well, you'll notice he shut up rather quickly. It's been awhile since he has posted.
A. Pendragon
Posts: 409
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2005 11:54 am
Location: Britain (formerly Camelot)
Contact:

Post by A. Pendragon »

Hmmm. the coward has gone into hiding.
Fear the night because the night doesn't fear YOU!!!
Something that I have learned in my life: The dead just dont stay dead.
Freedom isn't as free as we have been taught!
Ron Caliburn
Posts: 6915
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2005 7:09 pm
Location: Best if you don't know.

Post by Ron Caliburn »

I can't say I've watched much MTV ever, and I refuse to comment about my studding habits. I am still breathing, which means he had just empty threats.

Though if he has a connection to the man-bat with the glowing eyes the size of basketballs, he might have come really close on my way back from LA in October.
Ain't nuthin' that can't die.

Delta Sierra
A. Pendragon
Posts: 409
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2005 11:54 am
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Contact:

Post by A. Pendragon »

Did he kill everone? The forums have been dead. Hmmmm... maybe Ba'al cultists... or the mysterious Shadowboard are to blame....
Fear the night because the night doesn't fear YOU!!!
Something that I have learned in my life: The dead just dont stay dead.
Freedom isn't as free as we have been taught!
Ammendment2
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Apr 16, 2005 12:15 pm
Location: Watching the watchers...

Post by Ammendment2 »

I have been busy on a few operations, but there indeed seems to be a lull in postings- perhaps we should do some kind of current roll-call and see who responds, and note who isn't responding...
Good? Bad? I'm the one with the gun.....
Elijah Sight
Posts: 54
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 12:27 am
Location: USA

Post by Elijah Sight »

Yes, it indeed seems that many of our allies have fallen silent... It would be tragic to disregard their silence.
"Only the mad destroy themselves and all that they have wrought. But only the Phoenix lives forever."
~Fredric Brown
The Traveler King
Posts: 250
Joined: Sun Mar 13, 2005 5:13 am

Post by The Traveler King »

It's the holiday season, folks. Even monster hunters and occult investigators have Christmas shopping to do. Just so you know, even with my connections, I still can't get an Xbox 360. :?

Anyway, I'm STILL sorting through the data from back in the summer. Thankfully, our staff is back up to full strength. I think a couple of our programmers were personally referred by Debunker. If so, they've been a big help.
A. Pendragon
Posts: 409
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2005 11:54 am
Location: Britain (formerly Camelot)
Contact:

Post by A. Pendragon »

Not that this is the place for it, but you dont want a 360, not now anyway.

As for our members and the holidays....

Happy "fill in your holiday here"
Fear the night because the night doesn't fear YOU!!!
Something that I have learned in my life: The dead just dont stay dead.
Freedom isn't as free as we have been taught!
Ammendment2
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Apr 16, 2005 12:15 pm
Location: Watching the watchers...

Post by Ammendment2 »

Hrmmm...call me a workaholic, but tis the season for folks to get preyed on, holiday or not. I'll relax when folks can walk around at night and enjoy the holiday worry-free. If I'm the one that makes it worry free- then there is my holiday. Someone has to mind the store, so to speak. I do wish the rest of you whatever joy the holidays bring you.
Good? Bad? I'm the one with the gun.....
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