I can see it all so clearly -

Bert & Kelly have kids...

Bert - "Hey guys, does this puppy have my eyes or what?"

We met over the corpse of a demon army in a hell-dimension. I asked her, "Who and What are you and why shouldn't I shoot you right now?"

I'm quite the charmer

I am guessing it could have to do with the fact you even asked.

According to her, he was like a knight in shining kevlar.
It was truly love at first sight. Puppy love as it were

Could be

Should I get in touch with Tabitha for you, and tell her it just won't work out with the two of you, because you already have a Were-Wolf with a crush on you?

You know what they say about were-babes there Shades; they like it (edited due to the onset of sobriety).

Hmm? I wonder what Kelly would do if Bert and I told her about some of your comments here?

Its after 2 AM, I had my beer, and Im a lil' nutty right now. She might understand, then again, I may have to take stock in some silver bullets

I don't know about going that far, but I have a feeling she would still beat your but all over town.

Well, I just got a threat of, "Your lucky I cage myself on full moons Benjamin Jeremiah Holister."

The whole name is never good.

But Bert, she sort of had a BRIDES magazine under her arm with your name scribbled over the front page.

Did you ever give her (there were-chick) a pearl necklace? (another Sasha question).

Ben: I might be avoiding Crabapple Cove for awhile.

Kolya: Tell Sasha to go fornicate himself with a red hot iron poker.

Bert_the_Turtle wrote:Ben: I might be avoiding Crabapple Cove for awhile.

Kolya: Tell Sasha to go fornicate himself with a red hot iron poker.

I avoid the crabs at all costs.

Bert_the_Turtle wrote:Kolya: Tell Sasha to go fornicate himself with a red hot iron poker.

"Ah, so he did. Yay!" was the response.

Ok, Sasha is due for an ass-kicking. You wanna help Ben?

Perhaps you should be asking Sarah instead of Holister?

Shoot, I'll bring the beer & whiskey and we'll do this up right. We'll show these commies what a good ol' fashion Irish ass kicking is like.

Just... let me stop.... laughing first....

Sounds good Ben, but we'll bring Kelly too

Anyone else you need to bring?

I dunno, think Molly could take Kolya?

Lets see..

"Hey Molly, Mr. Kolya just broke your Sponge Bob DVD."

Give her a flashbang and she's good to go right now.

Hahaha!

That's the Molly I know!

I would punt her across the room before her little fingers could get the pin out.

Might not be a good idea though Mr. Koyla. Spirits seem to like the little girl. Wrathfull spirits can put a little bit of a damper on a party. (I.E. make sure you keep an eye out for ghosts, both before, and especially after.) That and remember the miraculous feats people have pulled off when their child is in danger.

Mr. Bert, Mr. Holister you both know better than to endanger a little girl over your own machismo - you should both be ashamed of yourselves. (teaching her how to use what one of my friends calls "flash and gas" however may prove prudent down the road)

Flash and Gas - is that Holister and Bert?

Of course I would not have punted Molly. I would have taken the grenade out of her hand.

And we would never endanger Molly (or any child) like that without serious and dire reasons. But Molly is a tough kid and I for one like to joke about it.

Ahh, I am sorry then, I still on occasion do not understand when things are meant in humor. I admit I do tend to take some things a little too seriously at times.

Again I apoligize to all involved for the misundertanding, this old man is quite foolish.

Alright, Gas.