Someone please help me, I don’t know where else to ask…

Dr. Kane · Post by **Dr. Kane** » Mon Jan 24, 2005 5:43 pm

First off I want you all to understand that this is all very new to me. I have been a psychiatrist for the last fourteen years now, and have spent my life providing help to those who needed it. Well, I recently had a brain tumor that I was fortunate enough to have caught early and I survived a successful operation to remove it. I thought the bed rest and recovery was all I would have to deal with and I could return to my normal life soon enough, but I was wrong. Mere days after my operation, I began to notice and feel things that I shouldn’t be. I don’t know how to describe this, but I seem to be aware of things that go around me that I didn’t before. One morning I woke up with a fright, and felt this odd sensation like anger, but not that I was angry myself, but that there was just anger in the air! In a puzzled state I went downstairs to the kitchen to make my morning coffee (as if my nerves were jittery enough already) and looking out the window over my sink, I saw my neibors, who’s windows curtains were wide open. They were shouting at each other with all they had to give. I did recall that they were in the works of a divorce, but as I stared at them I began to have these thoughts, about how much I hated the both of them…no, I didn’t hate them myself, they hated each other, and I could hear it! My god, I was invading their private thoughts! I was just picking the thoughts right out their heads! It was simply horrifying! I’d seen movies where things like this happened. Its a passing thought that it would be kinda fun to have the ability I once said. I would make my job so much easier. If I had known how alien this “power” actually would made me feel, I would have bitten my tongue off for it. I blamed the mind reading bit that morning on my medication I was still taking at the time, and thought to myself “I’m just making stuff up, I’ve been in divorce counseling’s so long I’m starting to see their arguments in my head”. But I was wrong, very wrong.

Going to work now has since become a living nightmare! Everyone who enters my office is like an open book before they even sit down. I can feel their every emotion, read all their thoughts and understand their own feelings and problems better than they can. I can’t stop these “powers (I can’t think of a better word for them besides “curses”). You would imagine that with these powers that my job would be a cinch (like that counselor on the New Star Trek shows) but it only makes it worse. I realize that her powers were accepted, even appreciated by the crew. Not so with me, I can’t tell anyone what I can do. I would lose my job if I was lucky, but more than likely I would be locked away (at times I almost long to be as I question my sanity). Now I walk on tea cups with my clients, as I already know what all their issues or problems, and I know how they feel about certain things we discuss, but I can’t just come out and say it. I gotta dance around and ask questions that they will hopefully answer correctly so I can tell them their correct diagnosis without sounding like I’m guessing or “looking for illnesses that are there ot get kickbacks form the local Walgreen’s”. You would be surprised at how defensive people get when you touch a nerve they didn’t expect you to touch, much less touch so deeply. What’s worse is dealing with those who don’t want my help and they just tell me things to keep pass the time, when I know all about their issues. Its maddening some days.

My marriage and family is suffering now as well. I had recently picked up on a thought from my wife one night during dinner, and discovered she thinks about and feels attractions for a co worker of hers. Of course she feels guilty about it (I know as I feel it too), but this and other invasions of her mental privacy is creating a wedge between us none the less.I don’t want to see and feel her thoughts, but they wont stop coming, her dreams wake me up in the night, her anxieties of our lives and raising the family only add to my own, making it that much worse to deal with, at least I felt like I had a grip on my home life before these powers began.

Even my children are becoming more distant to me, as I can read their thoughts and acting on them has been rough on me. I have since found myself going into recluse from their activities as invading their thoughts is driving us apart rather that closer like you’d suspect it would. My daughter recently asked me if she could stay over at friends the other weekend. But I picked up her real intentions before she even finished her question, she wanted to go to a party where there was gonna be a boy she really wanted to see. I could feel her giddiness and hopefulness that I would let her go, I could hear her thoughts about the fact that alcohol would be at the party, that her friends parents was out of town, leaving the party unattended of any true supervision, and feeling the vibes of sexual attraction and interest with that boy, and it all hit me at once. I learned that raging hormones intensify these feelings and they hit you like a mallet. I immediately went on the defensive and told her no. She of course went to her mother and started a family feud, and I was the enemy. It hurt so much to feel my daughter’s emotional rage at me, it feels a lot like the “pins and needles” feeling when your leg falls asleep, but it’s much more intense and it’s all over your body. I had to leave the room , take some Advil, and discuss my brash reactions with my wife later, but I had to make up stories and say things like “I’m just worried she may do something she shouldn’t be doing” and whatnot, but my wife went the traditional route and brought up the “we can’t protect them forever” speech. So I had to have a talk with my daughter about being very careful and protecting herself when she not home and all the usual junk they see on the walls at school everyday, so I fear most of it went in one ear and out the other, as her thoughts and feelings hadn’t changed at all when our conversation finished.

I need help. Someone, anyone, please help me. I can’t keep living like this. I can’t keep living telling everyone lies to protect my dirty secrets. I can’t keep suffering through every patient I get; the irony of the situation is not lost on me. I know that by all rights I am more capable than ever to help people with their problems, but how can I explain this to them that I know because I read their thoughts and feelings. Why do I have these powers when I’m condemned to not use them, or even want to use them, much less be forced to always have them “activated”? I once recommended a patient seek stronger mental help for stating her could do things like this, and now he’s been institutionalized. I feel so ashamed as I realize now that he may very well have been telling the truth. Is there a way that that I can stop myself from feeling and taking other peoples thoughts and emotions? I just want to go back to my normal old life. My life is falling apart at the seams and I don’t know what to do about it! Is there any way to remove these powers? Or at least anyway to shut them off so I can just deal with my own thoughts and feelings again?

I fear it’s getting worse as I’ve started to feel strange emotions I can’t even explain these days. I had a flash emotion last night walking to my car after work and I could swear to you that I felt something was watching me, hidden in the bushes next to the parking lot. I felt its presence within the bushes, and I could feel this unexplainable deep hunger, and I literally felt like my life was in danger and that the presence was about to attack me. To be honest I felt like it wanted to eat me! I’d like to think it’s was a wild dog or something like that, but its intensity of hunger and desire to come for me felt too strong for that. I can only say that it felt like pure itself was in those bushes. I truly feel like I’m starting to go insane!

My user name is a false one to protect my identity, but please respond my plea for help. I know this site s dedicated to these “Psychic” issues, and I pray you have answers for me. I don’t know where else to turn to, and the questionable subject matter I’ve read on this forum makes me doubt anyone may have real answers, but at least perhaps someone could show me the right direction where to go to get the help I desperately need. Thank you for reading and may you have the help I’m looking for.

Geronimus · Post by **Geronimus** » Mon Jan 24, 2005 7:14 pm

It's called Empathy, friend. And you have gotten a heavier than normal dose of it. From what I understand, almost everybody has this ability, but in varied degrees. Your operation may have removed a blockage to that ability or maybe stimulated that part of the brain. Animals can sense moods, we all know that. You are very lucky to be able to have that gift. But be carefull not to let it overpower you. there are groups that can help you gain control of this and put it to work for you. I've heard stories of it driving people mad who couldn't handle it, they become subject to the influence of the emotions of others. As a psychiatrist, you know how dangerous that can be for somebody. It may also leave you open to other types of predators, of the most horrific varieties. If I were you, i'd contact the Lazlo Agency directly to get help, they have real experts there with alot of experience who should be able to help you better.
Good luck,
Geronimus

Ron Caliburn · Post by **Ron Caliburn** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 7:33 pm

I feel for ya pal, but I can't really help ya other than suggest you pick up some books on meditative techniques and try to find a way to control yourself.

We all have to go through our own freaky stuff to get where we are now, and each of us will have to get through it in our own unique way.

I suggest you avoid my way . . . it's pretty messy.

Dr. Kane · Post by **Dr. Kane** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 6:39 pm

Thank you to those who've responded so far. I have found some relief since my cry for help. These "Gifts" as others on the site have called it, have either lessened in thier intensity or I am adjusting to them (or possibly even learning how to tame them?) I also have made a few private inquiries with a few members of this site, and have been doing some research on the subject of the "Paranormal and psychic phenomenon" in absolute private (I have to protect my reputation as a Dr.).

I am still very wary of my new found abilities, and tensions at home and office are still high. I even felt a vibe from my wife a few weeks back that she suspected my tensions and sudden privacy issues were all about having an affair. To be honest I wish I was simply having an affair rather than a battle of control for my senses. But I also wanted to document and share with the forum that I have some very good news to share! My gifts have saved a life!

I was at the post office picking up a package I ordered online the other morning (some books from a new age book store about psychic abilities ironically). On my way out the door I suddenly felt this feeling like I was in danger, or that’s what I thought at first. I looked around and saw just to my right there was a flower vendor selling a bouquet to a mom, who was distracted with buying flowers she wasn’t paying attention to her little boy. This boy couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old, and he was happily bouncing this big rubber ball on the sidewalk. I suddenly just had this "revelation" that HE was the one in danger, not me! Then suddenly this flash thought and “vision” of him dropping the ball and chasing it as it rolls out into morning commuter traffic. I looked to my left and a bus was chugging along like the driver was behind schedule and in a hurry. I immediately dropped my box of books and hurried toward the boy. The moment I did, he lost control of the ball it did begin bouncing toward the street, and the boy was indeed in pursuit of it! I screamed "STOP!" as loud as I could to get his attention. His mother looked around in alarm to my shout, but the boy kept his pursuit and was inches from the street.

I have to say I thank god that even though I am in my late 40's, that I still have a bit of physical dexterity left over from my college track days and infrequent visits to the fitness center. With maybe a moment to spare I snatched the child and yanked him back as the bus roared right over his ball (and certainly the boy if I hadn’t snatched him up)! His mother was frantic and scooped the child from my arms into hers in tears. She was probably more thankful that moment than she ever has been in her life. After the danger was over and I returned to my box of books, I looked around the block and evaluated that no one else would have seen or responded to the child's demise. It was these "gifts" of mine that rescued him.

I have a lot to learn and discover for myself before I will come to terms with what I have become. But I have come to grips that perhaps the term "gifts" aren’t such a poor definition of these abilities after all. I also am happy to report that my abilities have settled down just a bit more (even to a tolerable level) since that incident. Perhaps I needed a focus to these "gifts"? Any thoughts or feelings would be appreciated, and thank you again for reading.

Ron Caliburn · Post by **Ron Caliburn** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 7:24 pm

I'm glad ta hear that things are movig better for ya.

My advice is learn how to use those new abilities to their full potential. It sounds like your a kind and caring soul, and you'll probably make good use of your powers helping your paitents.

However, there's more than that. Some of us her have moved beyond using their abilities in utilitarian ways. Some of us have figured out that there are things on this world that hunt us. These things hunt us for food, or for sport or jsut because they can. Their motives usualyl aren't that important. What matters is they hunt us.

Some of us study those creatures that hunt us. I personally don't have much paitentce for that. It's sort of like standing in front of a charging grizzley taking pictures.

Some of us work to protect people from the creatures that hunt us. I sort of imagine them as a kind of police force.

Then there's people like me. Some call us hardcases, but personally I think it's a matter of the best defence being a good offense. That and I hate waiting around and doing nothing. I go out and I hunt the things that hunt us. I track them down and I remove them from the face of this planet.

It's up to you how involved you get, but you need to know, there are things out there that are more frightening and more dangerous than a distracted bus driver. You're one fo the people granted the ability to fight these things. Most of the rest of the world is like that kid, oblivious.

It's up to you what you do with your abilities, but there's a lot of people on this world who could use your help.

Debunker · Post by **Debunker** » Wed Feb 16, 2005 5:48 pm

Nice writings Dr. Kane, when is your first book due? My god man, your writing is entertaining, but hardly plausible. If you really did rescue that boy then I congratulate you, but dont pat yourself on the back ever more by exaggerating the truth. Psychic warnings and that crap about hairs sticking up on the back of your neck are all tricks of the wind and sounds that catch your attention in strange ways. Let it go Dr. Kane, you should be ashamed to be considered a psychologist writing this bull puckey.

Ron Caliburn · Post by **Ron Caliburn** » Wed Feb 16, 2005 7:10 pm

Hey Doc,

I think we got a case for you. Might be a toughie, he's in serious denial.

Fleshmechanic · Post by **Fleshmechanic** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 7:53 pm

Well Dr Kane, I must congratulate you on learning to cope with your new "gifts". As someone with first-hand experience with empathy (or telepathy,depending on who you ask) I can say with a fair share of authority that Debunker is talking out of his ass. Your gifts are very real and there are others out there that share them. Now, I will be the first to tell you that I don't have much in the way of "psychic powers". I have a little, but not anything on the scale you describe. But I have met with a woman that could both read my thought and speak to me in my head. I'm pretty sure that counts as telepathy to most people in the know. We've talked quite a bit on what it's like to have these gifts, and she gave me some advice that you might find interesting.

One, Learn Control: Many people are not capable of handling suddenly having "gifts", especially when they make them perceive things that they couldn't notice before. She seriously recommended I took some classes in medtitation if my gift ever flared up.
The first thing you need to learn is how to control this ability. If you can't learn to shut it off or block it out, your sanity will start cracking in no time. She mentioned something called "meditation by ball" or something like that. Basically, you picture a simple object in your mind with nothing but white all around. You keep training at this until you can shut out the world completely
The second thing is learning to direct it, to "aim" it if you will. It's kinda like learning how to block out everything except what you want to know. My friend told me that she used to practice this technique by sitting in a room full of people and trying to block out every bit of "thought static", as she calls it, except what her pet Labrador was thinking. Apparentlyit worked for her.
Like I said, I don't have much experience in actual meditiation, so I recommend that you see an instructor about learning how to do it right.

Two, Keep Your Peace: Let's face it, most people tend to freak out when someone they don't know comes up and starts spewing out their innermost secrets. You said it yourself that it happened to you, so you know I'm not kidding. Seriously, if I were you, I wouldn't tell ANYBODY that I had gifts like that. Not even people you'd trust with your life. And especially not your wife. You said that there had been some growing tension between you lately and believe me, throwing psychic powers into the mix will just make matter worse. Probably a lot worse. What if you told someone you really trusted that you had this gift. Chances are less that one in 10,000 that they'd actually believe you, and if you "demonstrated" it to them, odds are very good they'd shun you. It's not a pretty fact, but most people are not ready to deal with the possiblity of people walking around that can read their thoughts. It's paranoia city!!
Take my word for it, there are actually people out there with similar gifts. And believe it or not, most of them can usually tell one another out of a crowd. I don't know exactly how that works but from what my friend has told me, once you've gotten enough practice you will notice that certain people will "feel" different than others. And this isn't like you sensing your neighbor's emotions nextdoor but somehow different. I can't tell you exactly what because I don't know, but my friend has convinced me that that's how it works.

Three, Trust Your Instincts: I don't think I need to emphasize this one as you've already proven that you can trust your gut when you saved that kid. The key thing here is don't supress what you feel. Most of the time gifts don't come with an off-switch, and you usually have no control over when they happen. You've seen that yourself. But if you suddenly get a very powerful urge to get out of a place because something bad is going to happen, you'd be well adviced to trust it. The real pain in the ass about these gifts is that they are rarely if ever specific. Most of the time it's just "something bad in there", "get out now", "stop moving", "run" and things along those lines. It's more gut instinct than anything else.

Four, Stay Away from the Wicked: Judging by what you've written so far, you have some experience of what it feels like when someone around you is very angry. From what my friend has told me, being near people who are utterly deranged, or really really mean, is even worse. Basically, you need to stay away from prisons, jails, police stations' holding cells and, well, asylums I think is the term. At least until you've learned to block these things out, and maybe not even then. I don't know exactly what it's like, but judging from the shivers my friend got when she told me about a time she visited a clinic for the criminally insane, you don't want to risk it.

Five, Beware The Shadows: Like Ron Caliburn said, we are not alone on this world. Not to sound corny, but there are things that go bump in the night. Things that you wouldn't believe unless you came face to face with it. And I hope for your sake that you never will. I don't want to alarm you, but most of the things that lurk in the shadows are not very friendly. Frankly, most of them consider us to be either toys or food. It's not like you're guaranteed to to run into one of them, but the possibility is very real. Most people, including Mister Debunker up there, will tell you that these things aren't real, that they only exist in fairy tales and in the minds of junkies, drunks and the mentally disturbed. They are wrong I'm afraid. I sometimes wish they were right, that these things aren't real, but I've got a scar that runs from my left shoulder to my navel that was given to me by a man that I could have sworn to the Pope was dead. So I keep a very open mind about such things in these days.

So, in closing, there are some advice that I want to give you from personal experience.

1. Get a conceal/carry permit and take a few marksmanship classes. Buy a gun, preferably an automatic or a large caliber revolver. Buy a few boxes of ammo, and don't laugh at me now, but make sure you've got at least one box of silver bullets. There are people on these boards that can help you with that, no questions asked. The Lazlo Agency might also be able to help too, never asked them personally. And don't let anyone know about the silver bullets, people will just think you've got a few screws loose.

2. Start working out more. Go to the gym regularly, at least three times a week. Believe me, when you need to run for your life you can't count on the adrenaline to last forever.

3. Practice driving at high speeds. Being a shrink (no offense I hope) means you probably won't need it, but some of the things out there can run like cheetahs, and if they're going for you, your best bet is to cut and run.

Well, that's about all I can tell you. If you really need me too, I'll see if I can convince my lady friend to get in touch with you. She lives out in the woods, no internet, but she might agree to see you.

Welcome to a whole new world mate. Here's to ya.

Ron Caliburn · Post by **Ron Caliburn** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 8:16 pm

Nicely put Flesh.

Debunker · Post by **Debunker** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 12:02 pm

Nicely put? I've seen healthier mind bouncing around padded walls. Don't encourage this nonsense for him! He doesnt need advice, he needs a doctor!!

Kolya · Post by **Kolya** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 12:10 pm

Debunker wrote:Nicely put? I've seen healthier mind bouncing around padded walls. Don't encourage this nonsense for him! He doesnt need advice, he needs a doctor!!

A doctor that will give him advice?

Ron Caliburn · Post by **Ron Caliburn** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 6:47 pm

Unfortunately, most of the Doctors you are talking about De don't understand that in this case the problem isn't one of an individual not dealing with reality, but with an individual who has finally awakened to reality.

Dr. Kane · Post by **Dr. Kane** » Fri Mar 18, 2005 2:27 pm

Thanx for your kind words and sharing your experinces and opinions everyone. You all have been more help than you know.

With practice I have been able to make what I would call "acceptable terms" with my powers. Lately I have been able to control and "aim" my abilities and basically be my own master again. There are flash moments that creep up on me, but Ive had enough experience now that I can prepare for them and deal with them much better now. I will keep you all informed of my progress as Im sure Ill have more questions as I go.

Ron Caliburn · Post by **Ron Caliburn** » Fri Mar 18, 2005 6:00 pm

Doc, if you want to start trying to stretch your abilities - check your PM

Tabloid Hound · Post by **Tabloid Hound** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 2:31 pm

I'm glad to see your making progress Dr. Kane. Keep up the good work!

Brother Hotep · Post by **Brother Hotep** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 10:20 pm

and somehow I just don't care. .... Where's a coven when you need one anyway.

Tabloid Hound · Post by **Tabloid Hound** » Wed Mar 30, 2005 10:13 am

Hotep, He's not asking you to care about or feel sorry for him. Right now he just needs a friendly ear and helpful advice. Right now your providing neither.

Brother Hotep · Post by **Brother Hotep** » Wed Mar 30, 2005 10:25 pm

I just get tired of the whiny touchy feel I get from some of the other posters ..

Tabloid Hound · Post by **Tabloid Hound** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 11:05 am

Mr. Hotep, a little more compassion would suit you much better.