Excerpt from Reckoner's Journal

[Reckoner]

I've been told that if people want to get to know me and my experiences better, I should post some of my experiences here. I'll tell you about one of my first outings, and a few other experiences I've had. It happened to me, it's all true. I'll cut out some of the crazier details to allow people here to take it in, perhaps in the future I'll show some of my unabridged thoughts. For now, here's a look into my life.

"I won a cruise in the Pacific, hobnobbing with the rich, BEAUTIFUL women, unfortunately including a couple cougars trying to hit me up, and even learning a trick of two from Alice frigging Cooper! Say what you want, the man knows how to draw a bead on something and hit it. And it's all going well, until everyone doubled over with pain. It happened simultaneously in the morning. I finally shook it off after a few minutes and went to see what the hell happened. I heard people moaning in their cabins and outside. It was a lovely sunrise, it sucks that the uber-hangover/food poisoning had to be my alarm clock. But at that moment, that sunrise was the last part of anything normal I'd ever experience again. I saw crew members and passengers alike going nuts, attacking each other. Not just hitting, but scratching. Biting. They were actually trying to EAT each other! It was like the Aerosmith song mixed into a Romero movie!

"In trying to find what was going on, fighting off the attackers and finding sane people, I discovered something. I had always had some psychic tendencies, but something kicked them into overdrive. I found out I could pick up vibes from things i touched, feel people's emotions and...well, I'll tell you that part later. It was like something out of a bad movie. Zombies on a Boat! It was a fight trying to get the keys for the onboard anti-pirate arsenal, trying to fight without getting infected. God, I was such an amateur then. Thank goodness I've gotten better.

"After wrangling many of the...screw it, I'll say it: zombies into cargo areas, dance halls and locking the rest in their rooms, the rest of us tried making sense of it. We found out by the satellite tv and internet that this wasn't just us. There goes my hope of getting rich or free cruises from a lawsuit. The pain? People were calling it The Wave. And everywhere, zombies were walking, running and biting. Anyone getting bitten would get sick, die, then come back. And I didn't know it then, but I felt we were getting close to something. I couldn't put my finger on it.

"That something else I told you about? Don't laugh....well okay, laugh, get it out of your system. I think I laughed like a maniac when I realized what I could do too. I was cornered, I was swinging a fire axe taking out zombie after zombie, but was getting tired. But when I was getting winded, I heard the moans, saw them coming around the corner. I just wished I stayed in my room, watching pay per view adult channels, drowning out this crap! Why can't I be in my room?

"The it happened. I teleported.

"See? I KNEW you were going to either laugh or give me that deer in the headlights look of disbelief! But yeah, I found out I could 'port. Not very far, though, I couldn't concentrate on it while fighting, I dropped off into the Pacific a couple times testing my range, then I was drained after several tries. I could also put up a giant round shield I could move around at will to block attacks. Unfortunately I found the down side.

"See, the shield isn't just some kind of force field, apparently it's made up of the same energy my 'ports are. Kind of like a stable portal. I found this out when we drifted off course, my senses telling me something was close, then apparently we were in the Japanese Triangle, their version of the Bermuda Triangle. It was good, the zombies seemed to stop being as hungry. But when a few got out and I put up a shield to protect me and a group of survivors, it should have eventually shut off. It didn't. Worse, it got bigger, and it stopped the ship. From then, I and others started hearing a voice, a calling from the portal. Seductive, dark, powerful. It seemed interested in me, offering me anything I wanted if I joined it. It seemed to sense what I could do.

"I had no idea. I made things worse! The calling kept me from sleeping, seducing others into the portal, and then monsters, aquatic demons came through. I did what i could fought off and killed a lot of them. But the voice got worse. It called itself the Lord of the Deep. It sensed the pain, fear, desperation of this world, and the people of this ship. It wanted me to be its doorway not only here, but to countless other places! When I refused, he threatened me, started having his hordes freeing the zombies, taking people. Then a gigantic tentacle followed by smaller ones grabbed at everyone, and grabbed me. It threatened to take me, and everyone else if I didn't help it. But something in me snapped. I felt something come from my very soul. The beauty of life, hope for everything, and a responsibility. I would rather die than let this thing hurt another world, another group, another life. There was a blue light, and the thing let me go.

"I was born again. I know it sounds corny, the kind of crap you'd hear Televangelists pushing. But something erupted in me. I had trained in martial arts, boxing, wrestling and other things when i was younger, but gave them up because I didn't want to hurt anyone, and especially be hurt. But I suddenly had a knack for kicking the ass of anything supernatural! I got the last of the arsenal, routed the monsters, even a few things that were human, volunteered to go with the monster willingly, and came back as twisted half man, half sea life. I tore into them, and every bullet and grenade I fired seemed to be a blue tracer round! Finally, I stopped the damn thing, and destroyed every undead or inhuman thing on the ship.

Eventually we were rescued and taken to a safe haven in Japan at Mt. Fuji. That night, I had a vision I was visited by a dragon. I'm not kidding, a huge, serpentine dragon! She told me what I was, about the Lord of the Deep, my Transformation, and that the Demon Triangle as it's also known is a huge magic zone. The Lord of the Deep might have sensed the pain and my portal shield, but he could have opened a doorway anyway. The fact that it happened the way it did, where it did and how may have been a focal point to have actually dealt with it. She helped me to learn what I could do, and that I had several names. Wanderer. Shadowpath Walker. Sea Inquisitor.

"The next night, I had a vision. Someone in trouble, and I could help them. So I gathered my things and weapons, and took off. And that's when I learned that time moves differently in some dimensions. It was night when I left, and day when I arrived. I checked the papers, the dates were off too. That's the way it's been. I have a vision, I go to where I saw. Sometimes it's moments, minutes, hours, days before the danger I see happens. The most time that's passed from vision to event has been one week. I go where I'm needed, going to different worlds, different Earths, trying to help people and picking up supplies where and when I can.

"I've been to at least six different Earths with a zombie outbreak, some different reasons or theories. A cure of diseases, the will of God, military or corporate experiments, cults. I've also gone to worlds that were normal so I could rest and heal, others where the apocalypse had come and gone, and all kinds of weirdness. I've gone to worlds, warning people who'd listen about what I've seen. Many don't believe me. For other worlds, they freak out when they see me using my powers. I've been to worlds with other superhumans. It's either total doubt, or they're worried about their world, so they couldn't be spared. Other places, the zombies are actually attracted by my abilities. I'm not a superman, I'm better than average in a fight, especially against the supernatural. I'm a little faster, tougher, stronger, but still human.

"Human. I've seen some messed up examples of that. I've tried to be there to support people, take the tensions off with jokes or karaoke, but I've seen a darker side of people after the end of the world. Case in point: I was with some survivors camped out at a bowling alley, they heard about a mountain town where they had minimal zombies, if not wiped out altogether. We were going to convoy there after a few more survivors would rendezvous with us. Ammo was low, but I did what I could to help cover from the roof. A van pulled up, dragging its bumper, making all kinds of racket. The driver was fighting with a zombie and crashed into a lamp post. It led the zombies to us. While I was on one side of the roof, the refugees made a break for the main door. A woman trying to protect a five year old she saved tripped, dropped the kid, got up without her and headed towards the bowling alley.

"When I got to that side, the kid was crying, paralyzed with fear. No one was running back out to get her, the zombies were closing on the kid. We all knew that this was only going to whet the appetite of the dead. I pleaded with the other rooftop cover sniper, ammo was running too low to waste. The best he could offer...

"Let me compose myself.

"The best he could do was to put a kill shot in the kid's head. The best MERCY he could do was to shoot out a five year old girl's head to keep her from being eaten alive.

"That wasn't good enough for me.

"I popped up a shield on an angle to block the zed's from the child. Risky, I know. Every time I used my powers, it attracted them. So I 'ported on the other side of the large, shambling crowd. If I 'ported to get the kid, I couldn't fight and 'port at the same time. So I gave them a better bait. Me. I emptied out every gun I had at them, then used my fire axe, then my own hands. I went through them like a hot blue glowing knife through undead butter. After I cleared away the horde and saw more coming, I picked up the crying child, looked deeply at the man on the roof. His fright of wasting ammo, of the horde approaching. It was a tough choice, and I notice he didn't fire on the zombies I was fighting either. But he knew what I was thinking when I 'ported the child and myself away. His 'mercy' wasn't nearly enough. Not if you want to rebuild a world worth living in. I took the kid to the hospital in the haven town, the people from the bowling alley eventually came to town. She didn't want to go with any of them, and she couldn't come with me. Not where I was going.

"So that's me in a nutshell. I'm trying to gather food, supplies and something to pay or trade people to make my own group, Dead Reckoning Inc. I can have branches on different Earths, trying to help people not only survive, but to have hope, to hang onto their humanity. Because there's a LOT worse out there. Believe me. I fight for those that have no other heroes. And when I find the source of people's fear and suffering, there will be a reckoning. A Dead Reckoning.

[Cybermancer]

Thank you for sharing that, Reckoner.

And in case I haven't mentioned it before, welcome to the Lazlo Society.

Thanks for sticking around to help out, there's always a lot of work to do.

[Joe Smith]

So, basically you are saying you are a superhero from another world, instructed by a dragon, who can make shields and teleport, as well and make guns, fireaxes, and your hands into superweapons against zombies.

You've been reading too many comic books. Ain't no superman here.

[Cybermancer]

Ain't no superman here.

Yet there are Heroes aplenty.

[Reckoner]

Thanks for the warm welcome. At least compared to the chill that some are throwing my way. As far as I classify myself, I'm not superhuman because I can't fly, can't lift heavy weights and don't wear flashy costumes. But I do have gifts and special abilities that I use to help where I can. I'm not superhuman as in better than you or anyone else. But there are people here with their own gifts, are there not? Some who create weapons that can harm the supernatural compared to ordinary folks? People who can walk on and manipulate fire, block out pain, summon great strength in times of need? Yeah, I can get along fine with those. I suppose asking you to try talking to Natsu Yuki would be pointless, wouldn't it?

Here's another excerpt from my journal, it seems especially fitting now.
"There's a more damning reason I don't use my abilities unless I have to. In these worlds, there's no hope for the wondrous, the amazing, the special. Believing in any kinds of miracles like these would drive people nuts for the most part. At least, blind hope. I don't offer that. But the most damaging effect seems to be the effect it has on people. Sure, in some places I've been to and bled for, zombies; the walking dead and other monsters are parts of their lives now. But if there were anything miraculous, it would have happened by now, right?

"Let's look at people's reactions to something out of the ordinary. Let's say I teleport into a hostile area in a blue flash, people see me mowing down zeds like a hot glowing blue knife through butter. The first stage of reactions typically are disbelief. They simply can't believe what they're seeing in front of them. The next is the reaction to the different, fear and this is too good to be true. Are you some kind of freak? A monster? What do you want from us? What's your connection to all this? Be careful in your explanations, if people start warming up to you, the next stage is either going to grasp at you and your abilities, like asking how did you get yours? Can I get them too? Please stay, this is a sign from God! You must be an angel! Can you answer our prayers while you're here? The other side of the coin is blame. Where were you? Why did you let this happen? Why didn't you stop all of this? My father just died! Why didn't you get here sooner? Then when you have to move on or your job is done, they either try doing or saying anything to keep you there, or they think that you're some kind of test, of trick and shouldn't be trusted. So go, get out of here and never come back! We don't trust you, demon! You OR your kind! If I see you or any other freak/demon/monster different from us again, I'll kill you myself! You will NEVER corrupt my people, my family!

"Needless to say, this can put a damper on your relief efforts, not to mention your own spirits and faith. But you don't help people for fame, or because you're trying to be top dog for a power trip. You do it because they NEED it, because it's the right thing to do. At least that's why I do it."

[Joe Smith]

According to you - you have abilities on severall orders of magnitude more powerful and pronounced than anyone has even ever claimed - outside of fiction that is.

Nobody here has ever claimed to be able to do what you claim. Force shields, and teleportation of solid matter? Come on!

[Grace]

I have a question for you Reckoner. You're really pretty down about the mercy that the sniper had to offer that little girl.

Did he know you could teleport down there to save her? Did he have the ability to do so himself? What exactly was in his power to do about it, other than offer a swift death?

It doesn't matter if the person in the crosshairs is a little girl, a middle aged sherrif, an annoying psychic or a young and idealistic parapsychologist. If all you can do for them is to end their suffering or insure they don't suffer at all, than it seems like the right choice to make.

I've seen what happens when you don't pull the trigger.

Not everyone has your unconvential means of moving around the battlefield. Some of us are only human.

[Grace]

According to you - you have abilities on severall orders of magnitude more powerful and pronounced than anyone has even ever claimed - outside of fiction that is.

Nobody here has ever claimed to be able to do what you claim. Force shields, and teleportation of solid matter? Come on!

Actually, no. What he claims is not more powerful than what others here have claimed. I suggest you go back and read some of GhostSpider's posts, Mr. Smith.

[Reckoner]

*sigh* I wonder if this is how Doctor Who feels in new places...

Her name is Stacey Ferguson, Yes, just like the Black Eyed Pea and former child star of Kids Inc. Her mother was torn apart in the next room while hiding her from monsters. Eventually the thing went away, and didn't eat for two days before a convoy found her and picked her up. I saw her survive against all odds, only to be dropped by someone panicking and left to die, except for a bullet in her skull. I saw a vision of her. I wasn't going to see it happen twice.

Believe it or not, I'm pro-choice. I believe what happens to and inside someone's body is their choice how to deal with it. If someone were terminally ill and wished to be taken off of means of survival after a full life instead of suffering needlessly every day after, that's your choice. I warned the sniper not to make that choice, but he was going to do it anyway.

I've tried telling people about what I can do, but I get the worst end of the stick if I can't prove it, and there was something about the undead on that world! They seemed to be drawn to high magic areas, and according to friends of mine, people with high mystic or psychic energies were the most sought out after on the menu. If I wasted time using my powers just to show what I could do and didn't have the power to help everyone, then I'd just be a beacon for those things. They'd hunger for me and act like sharks in a feeding frenzy for everyone around them. I could be selfish, or try to help as many as I can. I was prepared to help everyone in that building get out. But after they decided to 'abort' Stacey, she was the one who needed me the most. Not them.

I have no problem dispatching monsters, because at that point, they no longer seem to have the power of choice. They're too driven by hunger, instinct and not reason, or ones that can reason but don't, they go with impulses. But a man? Someone of flesh and blood, like you and me? People have choices. But the second you start taking a life, then another and another, it becomes a real slippery slope. After the initial shock, you realize you have the power of life and death in your hands, but the choice in how to use it. In that and many other cases, it wasn't just a matter of human survival, but the survival of one's humanity. No army, no police. Anything goes. You could probably steal, rape, torture and kill how many you could, as long as no one reported it, who cares? I do, and so do a lot of innocent people that want to be treated fairly, and not have someone else make the choice of killing them once they become inconvenient.

I understand it's a hard choice to make. And as an empath, I can feel other people's feelings. But I have to keep my focus and know where the lines are. If you want to kill someone because you think you're showing them mercy, then you better be damn sure you can live with it. I would think that on a forum like this, it's a reasonable concern to avoid being haunted by the lives one has taken and wondering if you could have made a better choice. But killing just to end someone's pain as a justification? Why not go into a nursing home and hurry the old folks along with a full clip in your rifle? Why not load up and open fire in a children's hospital in the burn wards, maybe the cancer and AIDS too while you're at it? After all, you're doing them a favor. Or maybe you justify your insanity and because you take that choice out of the hands of those responsible, you qualify as a monster to be taken down by someone else. Where there's life, there's hope. I've made hard calls too, but I will NEVER stop trying to save not only lives, but if necessary, keeping people from making mistakes that will damn their souls. On one such place, people truly think that God has judged them and this is what they deserve. I WILL NOT believe that.

[Grace]

So many responses I could make here.

But really there's only one I feel that matters.

The number of times I have taken life as a mercy I can count with just the fingers of one hand. And I can honestly say that each time I did, it was what I would have wanted someone to do for me given the circumstance.

The one time I didn't provide that mercy has left me with far more sleepless nights than any other single life I have taken.

You do what lets you sleep at night.

I'll do what lets me sleep at night.

[Reckoner]

I can respect that.

[Grace]

Well, if we can respect each other, it's a start.

[Shang Li]

I thank you for the memories and hope you are well in your travels, Mr. Reckoner... do stop back by for a visit soon.